Part 6 (1/2)
_Cras.h.!.+_
The flowing tartan plaid which adorned the shoulders of the scion of the house of Damsillie had spread itself abroad, and, encircling in a clinging embrace the trussed and pinioned form of the much-enduring Jebson, had whipped him from his stool of penance and caused him, from no volition of his own, to join the glad throng of waltzers, much as a derelict tree-trunk joins a whirlpool. In a trice the a.s.sistant Professor of Comparative Theology and the President of the University Boat Club, who were performing an intricate reversing movement at the moment, tripped heavily backwards over his prostrate form, while the Most n.o.ble the Marquis of Puddox (and lady), brought up in full career by the stoutly resisting plaid, fell side by side upon the field. The Senior Wrangler and the Junior Egyptologist, whirling like dervishes, topped the heap a moment later. The Baron Guldenschwein and the Master of the Bloodhounds leavened the whole lump.
My head struck the floor with a dull thud. Simultaneously some one (I think it was the Senior Wrangler) put his foot into my left ear. Even at this excruciating moment I remember reflecting that it would be a difficult matter, after this, to maintain a distant or stand-offish att.i.tude towards the gentleman who at this moment was acting as the foundation-stone of our pyramid.
The music ceased, with a suddenness that suggested musical chairs, and I was aware of an ominous silence. Disengaging my neck from the embrace of a leg clad in a baggy silk trousering,--evidently it belonged to the Sultan: how he got into that galley I have no conception, for he had recently relieved the Baron at the piano,--I struggled to my hands and knees and crawled out of the turmoil upon the floor.
Set amid the constellation of stars which still danced round my ringing head, I beheld a sleek but burly gentleman in sober black, silk hat in hand, standing in the doorway. He was a University bull-dog. We were in the clutches of the Law.
”Proctor's compliments, gentlemen, and will the gentleman what these rooms belong to kindly step--”
It was a familiar formula. Wickham, who had struggled to his feet, answered at once:--
”All right; I'll come down. Wait till I put my collar on. Is the Proctor downstairs?”
”Yes, sir,” said the man.
”Who is it?”
”Mr. Sandeman, sir.”
”Sandy? Golly!” commented Mr. Wickham, swiftly correcting the disorder of his array. Several people whistled lugubriously. Wickham turned to d.i.c.ky.
”I'll go down,” he said. ”You sort out those chaps on the floor.”
He disappeared with the bull-dog, leaving d.i.c.ky and myself to disintegrate the happy heap of arms and legs upon the carpet.
Ultimately we uncovered our foundation-stone, black in the face, but resigned. We unrolled his winding-sheet, cut his bonds, and were administering first aid of a hearty but unscientific description when there was a cry from d.i.c.ky--
”Ducker, you young fool, where are you going to?”
Ducker, it appeared, was the real name of the a.s.sistant Theologian. (As a matter of fact, it was Duckworth.) He was already at the door.
Finding his exit detected, he drew himself up with an air of rather precarious dignity, and replied:--
”I am going to speak to Sandy.”
”What for?”
”Sandy,” explained Mr. Ducker rapidly, ”has never seen my imitation of George Alexander as the Prisoner of Zenda. He has got to have it now!”
Next moment the persevering pantomimist had disappeared, and we heard him descending the stairs in a series of kangaroo-like leaps.
”Come on, Bill,” said d.i.c.ky to me. ”We must follow him quick, or there will be trouble.”
We raced downstairs into the entrance-hall. The open doorway framed the dishevelled figure of Mr. Duckworth. He was calling aloud the name of one Sandy, beseeching him to behold George Alexander. Outside in the gloom of Jesus Lane we beheld Mr. Wickham arguing respectfully with a majestic figure in a black gown, white bands, and baleful spectacles.
With a sinking heart I recognised one of the two saturnine clerical gentlemen in whose presence I had been presented for my M.A. degree only a few hours before.
”Sandy, old son,” bellowed Mr. Duckworth perseveringly, ”be a sportsman and look at me a minute!” He was now out upon the doorstep, posturing.