Part 28 (1/2)

Homer remembered standing there, completely naked in front of the officer. ”I don't know what you're talking about,” he'd said.

”You will,” the officer had chuckled.

Now, Homer's heart, once hardened under the guise of self-innocence, was beginning to crack. What had the officer meant? Why had he laughed? Homer began breathing rapidly as he imagined the worst scenarios for himself.

He turned onto his back and looked at the ceiling. Although his own voice had quieted, he could hear another voice emerging from within him. It came from a deep and long ignored place, and hinted of many sleepless nights to come. He stiffened as he realized what his court-appointed attorney had said was true-if he didn't plead guilty, he would probably end up in a prison cell just like this one for a very long time.

He kicked back the thin, sweat-soaked bedspread he'd been lying under and sat up. He looked around the cell that was smaller than the average college dorm room. It was surrounded by cement blocks that served as walls, and the steel bars that kept him caged in like an animal may as well have been a metal noose around his neck.

A spasm of pain rippled across his stomach. It had become a familiar pain ever since his wife, Sandra, had left him. Or had he felt it before then? He was no longer sure. But one thing he was sure of was that he didn't have what it took to be locked up day in and day out with people he would never spend one second with on the outside of jail. It was too much for him to bear.

He envisioned his life-no, his existence-as an inmate. The days turned into months, and the months turned into years. He stood up slowly and took his government-issued sheet off the mattress. He didn't belong there, and he was not going to give Big Butch or any of his cohorts the chance to do him harm.

Homer stood up on the wooden chair in his cell.

Perhaps if his mother had not abandoned him at birth . . .

He threw the sheet over the ceiling pipe above him.

Maybe if his wife hadn't left him . . .

He calmly tied both ends of the sheet around his neck.

If Tia hadn't rejected him . . .

He jumped off the chair.

If anyone would have cared about his feelings just once...

Soon, Homer's feet began kicking viciously at the air. Just as he was losing consciousness, he felt someone pulling him down, and then he immediately felt a sharp object pierce his chest. He struggled as the object penetrated his upper body a second and a third time. After the fourth time, Homer lay limp.

He closed his eyes right after Big Butch whispered ”guilty” into his ear, spreading the conviction throughout his sad soul.

Discussion Questions.

1. Why do you think Tia was so attracted to Homer?

2. Do you think Homer's attraction to young girls had anything to do with his mother abandoning him?

3. Why do you think Homer was so mean to the squirrel?

4. If you were Franny, would you have called your son for help or would you have chosen to sleep in a shelter?

5. Should Homer have forgiven Franny?