Part 22 (2/2)

”Nothing,” she said.

He continued to sit on the edge of the bed.

It's your fault, Serenity thought as she put the earplug back in her ear.

A few seconds pa.s.sed before he spoke. ”Listen,” he said, ”I'm sorry about what happened, and I'm glad you're okay.” Then he stood up and walked out of her bedroom.

She rolled her eyes. It's still your fault, she thought. Then she turned on her iPod.

Chapter Forty-three.

One week after being discharged from the hospital, Lorenzo walked into the Christian-based outpatient treatment center. After checking in at the receptionist desk, he pulled two chairs close together and distributed his weight evenly between the two. A piece of brown thread hung loosely from one of the seat cus.h.i.+ons he sat on, and he nervously began twisting and untwisting the thread around his finger. He surveyed the lobby as he waited to be a.s.sessed by one of the AODA counselors.

A painting of a lilac against a white backdrop hung on the gray wall behind the receptionist. The recessed lighting in the ceiling, along with the wall-mounted water fountain, created a welcoming, serene effect.

Lorenzo gazed at the gentle stream of water trickling down from the fountain as his mind began to replay everything that had happened to him prior to the fall. He remembered the woman on the television screen telling him that suicide was not the answer. He could still hear her whispered invitation to ask Jesus into his heart, and he remembered calling out to Him for help.

But the thing that really stayed with him was what she'd said about Jesus being able to do for him what those pills he'd been taking couldn't do. That was the last thing he remembered before everything went dark.

When he'd woken up he was in a hospital bed. His head ached, and there'd been a tube down his throat and an IV needle stuck in his arm. When Tia had come to see him, he couldn't even bear to look at her.

He remembered her embrace and how badly he'd wanted to just dissolve into her arms, but he'd been unable to diminish his angry faade. It had become his defense mechanism, and he'd needed it then more than ever to hide the shame he'd felt. Why had he let himself get to this point?

The next day the hospital social worker came to talk to him. She'd brought several pamphlets pertaining to alcohol and drug treatment centers with her. After introducing herself and asking him a few questions, she'd given Lorenzo a short questionnaire to fill out. Based on his answers, she'd asked him if he'd like a referral to one of the treatment facilities, and he'd said yes.

The door opened and a fair-skinned man with dark freckles scattered across his face appeared. ”Lorenzo,” he called out as he scanned the small group of people in the lobby.

Lorenzo recognized the face, but it was too late now. There was nothing he could do. He stood up, smoothed out his s.h.i.+rt, and walked toward the man. ”Hey, Tony,” he said to his neighbor at the end of the cul-de-sac.

”Hey, man,” Tony said to Lorenzo after he closed the door to his office. ”I understand if this feels a little uncomfortable to you, but I want to let you know three things: First, I want you to know that I'm glad your daughter is okay.”

”Thank you,” Lorenzo said.

”Second, I won't be your counselor. I'm just doing the intake. All right?”

Lorenzo nodded his head.

”Third, there's something called HIPAA privacy rules. I'm going to have you read over it and sign it in a few minutes. But what it means is that your privacy is protected. Everything that goes on here remains strictly confidential. None of us can discuss you, your business,” he pointed his long finger at him, ”or anything else that pertains to you outside of this facility or with anybody who's not directly involved in your care.”

Lorenzo ran his fingers along the kinky curls of hair on the side of his face. ”Does that include my wife?”

Tony nodded. ”That includes your wife. We won't discuss your situation with her at all unless you sign a release form giving us permission to do so.”

Lorenzo was relieved. He was not ready to divulge everything to Tia, and although Tony seemed like a decent person, Lorenzo wasn't sure if he'd be comfortable sharing his personal business with a member of the church he used to attend. Not to mention that he was his neighbor and both their wives were friends. It was all too close for comfort.

”Yeah,” Tony said, interrupting Lorenzo's thoughts. ”I don't want anything to get in the way of your deliverance, man.” He looked at him. ”Nothing,” he repeated.

”Thanks, man,” Lorenzo said. He rubbed his beard again, then put his finger on his chin and frowned. ”I notice you used the word deliverance instead of recovery.”

Tony smiled. The door has just been opened. This was the part of his job he loved the most. ”That's right, man,” he said, ”because that's what it boils down to. At the end of the day, do you want to complete your treatment and keep on telling everybody you're in recovery? Or do you want to be delivered, healed,” he placed his hand over his heart, ”permanently set free?”

Tony smiled again and Lorenzo noticed how vibrant his appearance had become since he'd started talking about being set free and delivered.

”There's a difference between the two,” Tony said. ”And I can tell you right off the bat,” he spread out his arms and held up his hands. ”I'm a witness because I've been delivered.”

Lorenzo remained silent as he continued to study Tony's glowing face.

”Praise the Lord,” Tony said still smiling.

After the intake a.s.sessment was completed, Tony went over a few final pieces of information before Lorenzo left his office.

”Once you've seen the doctor, our clinical team will use the information from our a.s.sessment to create a care plan for you. There'll be a treatment plan that addresses your particular addiction. We'll have you set some goals for getting clean and staying clean,” he smiled, ”aka delivered. And, of course, we'll have to address your lifestyle and what led you down this path to begin with.”

Lorenzo rubbed his forehead. His anxiety was returning. ”Sounds like a lot of work.”

”It is. But nothing worth having is easy,” Tony said rea.s.suringly. ”And just so you understand, I'm saying we, but I won't be a part of the team. I just want to make sure you understand that.”

”I understand,” Lorenzo said.

”And also understand that I may not be your counselor, but I do support you because I know what you're going through.”

”Thanks, I appreciate it,” Lorenzo said looking at the floor. ”Let me ask you something.”

”Sure.”

”You said something about a difference between recovery and deliverance.”

Tony nodded his head slowly.

”What did you mean by that?”

”I mean what the Word means,” he said. ”The Bible says, when Jesus sets you free, you're free indeed! Ain't no going back unless you choose to. And some people do. The Bible talks about that too.”

Tony opened his drawer and pulled out a miniature orange leather Bible. He flipped through its pages. ”Here it is,” he said. ”Proverbs 26, verse 11, 'As a dog returns to its vomit,'” Tony read, ”'so fools repeat their folly.'” He turned the Bible around and pointed to the scripture so Lorenzo could see it for himself.

”That's deep,” Lorenzo said.

”It is,” Tony agreed. ”We'll talk some more if you want to.” He got up to take Lorenzo back out to the lobby. ”Off the record,” he added.

”Cool,” Lorenzo said.

”You'll be seeing the doctor for a health screening next,” Tony explained as he escorted Lorenzo through the door.

Lorenzo took a seat once more. He tried to ignore the anxiety he was feeling. He wanted to believe that he could be set free from the emotional bondage he'd been living with all his life. He dug his hands deep into the pockets of his jacket. Maybe he could be, he thought as he watched the ribbons of water flowing freely from the fountain on the wall.

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