Volume Ii Part 21 (1/2)
AS YOU LIKE IT.
”What have we to do to-night?” said Florence, at breakfast the next morning.
”You have no engagement, have you?” said her mother.
”No, Mamma,” said Constance, arching her eyebrows ? ”we are to taste the sweets of domestic life ? you, as head of the family, will go to sleep in the _dormeuse_, and Florence and I shall take turns in yawning by your side.”
”And what will Fleda do?” said Mrs. Evelyn, laughing.
”Fleda, Mamma, will be wrapped in remorseful recollections of having enacted a mob last evening, and have enough occupation in considering how she shall repair damages.”
”Fleda , my dear, she is very saucy,” said Mrs. Evelyn, sipping her tea with great comfort.
”Why should we yawn to-night any more than last night?” said Fleda ? a question which Edith would certainly have asked if she had not been away at school. The breakfast was too late for both her and her father.
”Last night, my dear, your fractious disposition kept us upon half breath; there wasn't time to yawn. I meant to have eased my breast by laughing afterwards, but that expectation was stifled.”
”What stifled it?”
”I was afraid!” said Constance, with a little flutter of her person up and down in her chair.
”Afraid of what?”
”And besides, you know, we can't have our drawing-rooms filled with distinguished foreigners every evening we are not at home. I shall direct the fowling-piece to be severe in his execution of orders to-night, and let n.o.body in. I forgot!”
exclaimed Constance, with another flutter ? ”it is Mr. Thorn's night! My dearest mamma, will you consent to have the dormeuse wheeled round with its back to the fire? ? and Florence and I will take the opportunity to hear little Edith's lessons in the next room, unless Mr. Decatur comes. I must endeavour to make the Manton comprehend what he has to do.”
”But what is to become of Mr. Evelyn?” said Fleda; ”you make Mrs. Evelyn the head of the family very unceremoniously.”
”Mr. Evelyn, my dear,” said Constance, gravely, ”makes a futile attempt semi-weekly to beat his brains out with a club; and every successive failure encourages him to try again; the only effect being a temporary decapitation of his family; and I believe this is the night on which he periodically turns a frigid eye upon their dest.i.tution.”
”You are too absurd!” said Florence, reaching over for a sausage.
”Dear Constance!” said Fleda, half laughing, ”why do you talk so?”
”Constance, behave yourself,” said her mother.
”Mamma,” said the young lady, ”I am actuated by a benevolent desire to effect a diversion of Miss Ringgan's mind from its gloomy meditations, by presenting to her some more real subjects of distress.”
”I wonder if you ever looked at such a thing,” said Fleda.
”What 'such a thing'?”
”As a real subject of distress.”
”Yes; I have one incessantly before me in your serious countenance. Why in the world, Fleda, don't you look like other people?”
”I suppose, because I don't feel like them.”
”And why don't you? I am sure you ought to be as happy as most people.”
”I think I am a great deal happier,” said Fleda.