Part 31 (1/2)

Things I like best about home: 1. Mom.

2. Mom, for not questioning the fact that my only souvenirs from a month-long cruise to Australia were 15 bobblehead koala bears and a jar of tar.

3. Mom, for making sandwiches that are even better than Raven's.

4. Mom, for being agreeable when I asked if Raven could live in the bas.e.m.e.nt.

5. My stunning collections of rare Paleolithic fossils, spiderwebs, high-resistance ultrapolymer platings, crash-test dummies from around the world, cat whiskers, wallpaper, slingshotting rocks, rock posters, ion grids, cottage cheese containers, ouija boards, gold doubloons, iron maidens...etc., etc., etc.

6. My beautiful garden of weird weeds, which have clearly missed me and my black thumb.

7. My personal library, which (Great-Aunt Emma would be proud to see) includes Occult Thermodynamics and You Occult Thermodynamics and You AND AND Secrets of Golem Dominion Secrets of Golem Dominion.

8. All my wondrous and soul-soothing music: Dirge Control, Puppy Glove, Furniture That Sings, Doom Valve, Thee Crypt Divers, Stain Spiral, Split Enzyme, the Larry Beatty Disaster Sequence, Not from Heaven, the Riotous Undead, It Isn't This, Chapter 13 Verse 13, SplatterBoar, etc., etc., etc.

9. My amazing home laboratory and all the experiments I left in it, most of which have been progressing nicely.

10. My pet garbage-eating catfish-goat, who cheerfully recycles all my experiments that haven't progressed so nicely.

11. My ultra-modded Magic 8 Ball, which gives incredibly accurate and insightful answers to all my questions.

12. McFreely's real name, which is Mystery. (Wouldn't you know, her collar was here at home the whole time, in one of Mom's kitchen junk drawers.) 13. And MY name, Emily!

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APPENDIX A:.

Six pages that I tore out from the middle of my notebook, and later discovered in the van's engine compartment after I got back to Blandindulle.

Day 19 top 13 strangest things in earwig's room: 1. sugarcube diorama of the la brea tar pits 2. mermaid baby in a jar of formaldehyde 3. origami rulture 4. lemur bunker 5. macrame rampire 6. black hole dart gun 7. spiderweb collection 8. rack of custom-built slingohots 9. portable chasm 10. apothecary kit 11. antigravity machine 12. spare forehead A bit later-alone finally. Molly is off saying hi to friends.

OK-Molly may be a rebel (a rebel against capitalization if nothing else), but I bet she's won trophies for spelling. I mean-diorama? Apothecary? Impressive.

OK, also, !!!!!!!!!!!!! EXCLAMATION POINTS GALORE!!!!!!!!!!!!!.

Obviously-I have some explaining to do!

Obviously-I have found Molly.

Obviously-I am not Molly.

AND-Molly knows who I really am.

What a day. I found her in the first place I looked. Lucky for me: small town, one overpa.s.s.

It's spine-chilling how much Molly and I look alike. No wonder I was fooled by her photos. She is not much like like me, though. I've mentioned that she is a popular, well-dressed girl who wins trophies at whatever she does. Also, she smiles a lot. Yeah. Right now she's making her extended social rounds of the cafe. Fine. Gives me some time to write. me, though. I've mentioned that she is a popular, well-dressed girl who wins trophies at whatever she does. Also, she smiles a lot. Yeah. Right now she's making her extended social rounds of the cafe. Fine. Gives me some time to write.

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Anyway, get this. That girl in Zigzag was right on the money about Molly doing a tour of towns with funny names. She'd been to Boring, Oregon; Skook.u.mchuck, Was.h.i.+ngton; Pickles Gap, Arkansas; Greasy, Oklahoma; Hippo, Kentucky; and a.s.sinippi, Ma.s.sachusetts, before hitting Blandindulle. She was at a Laundromat was.h.i.+ng the dirty half of her extensive traveling wardrobe (she travels with three three suitcases, apparently) when this lady came over and struck up a conversation. Said she had a daughter that looked JUST like Molly. (!) This daughter was away on a cruise to Australia (!!) for a month (!!!). Molly convinced the lady she was on some kind of solo field trip, and the lady invited Molly to crash at her house. Which Molly did. suitcases, apparently) when this lady came over and struck up a conversation. Said she had a daughter that looked JUST like Molly. (!) This daughter was away on a cruise to Australia (!!) for a month (!!!). Molly convinced the lady she was on some kind of solo field trip, and the lady invited Molly to crash at her house. Which Molly did.

In MY BEDROOM.

Man oh man oh man oh man oh man.

Anyway, we came here to this cafe (Blandindulle equivalent of the El Dungeon, I guess) to talk it over. And you know, if it hadn't been for the Sharon and George episode, I probably would have sprinted home without even saying bye to Molly. But if I learned anything from that experience, it's that I probably left home for a reason; going home was not going to cure my amnesia; I probably still had something to learn or do in Blackrock; and if my home was in Blandindulle today, it would most likely still be in Blandindulle next week.

So, if Molly ever makes her way back to our table, maybe I can start getting some useful information out of her. Like for starters, my real name.

Later I've regained my memories, and what I know makes me want to get amnesia again.

Molly did this to me. I mean the memories, not the amnesia. We were still hanging out at the cafe in Blandindulle, and she was telling me all this stuff that I of course didn't recall about MY OWN MOTHER, and then boom, she pops out with-OK, I'm not going to even write it down, JUST IN CASE I read this later when I need to keep my amnesia. Anyway, it's like our family swearword, which my mom says all the time. And in my GREAT WISDOM, I'd programmed that word as my failsafe, just in case something awful happened.

Well, something awful HAS happened, and I need to get back to my van and get another dose of amnesia AS SOON AS I CAN!!!!

-Gotta go, Molly is heading this way with a bus ticket for me, more later.

Later Am back on the bus, headed to Blackrock.

After the joy of regaining my ident.i.ty came the horror of the dangerous knowledge my mind is so full of. And I am LUCKY that it happened in Blandindulle, and not in Blackrock. Just hope I can get back to the van without encountering Jakey.

Anyway, I made Molly swear that if she encountered me again she would not tell me my name or say my mom's swearword. To give her credit: She felt very bad, and not only paid for my bus ticket back to Blackrock, but promised to come to my aid any time I called. (Let's hope THAT will never happen!) While waiting for the bus, I got the following information from her: 1. Curls/Ripper sucks his thumb while sleeping. Good Stuff!!

2. She did not tidy my room, under instructions from my mom.

3. She really thinks I need to tidy my room.

4. She thinks I should know that there are several science experiments in my room that are looking VERY unsanitary.

5. She considers me a ”creative” type, but she shook her head when she said it.

6. She was amazed to find only identical black sleeveless dresses in my wardrobe.

7. She had a really hard time beating any of the high scores on the video games at my house.

8. She thought all my music was completely unlistenable and does not see how anyone could consider Dirge Control their favorite band.