Part 7 (1/2)

ME:.

Not a daytime person.

S:.

I see. [Then we walked in silence to LeStrande Comprehensive. Once we were there, though, I kind of freaked out.]

ME:.

Listen, Schneider. I really don't know what to tell these people. I found myself here six days ago with total amnesia. I don't even know my name.

S:.

You're kidding. Why haven't you asked the police for help?

ME:.

[No comment.]

S:.

Right. Never mind. OK, look, I'll do the talking.

And he was actually pretty good. He told them my name was Earwig Dungeon; Raven Dungeon was my mother; I'd just moved here from Wichita, Kansas; and I'd had a hard time recently and didn't want to talk about myself. And that was that.

Later BLOGYAM!!! Have got to get out of here. Am writing this in the teachers' bathroom. Had to sneak in here since the regular bathroom is guarded. This place is insane. More later.

ABOUT TWENTY MILLION YEARS LATER.

Have been released and am on my way back to the El Dungeon. Stopped off at the minipark because I am not ready to face human beings. Am completely traumatized. Was not able to write all day due to tyranny of maniac teachers. They were not happy with me. To say the least. Apparently, I even BREATHE the wrong way, in addition to every other little thing about me being WRONG and STRANGE. Will gnaw off a limb before I go back to that place.

I was mistaken about Schneider helping me out. Telling them my name was Earwig Dungeon pretty much killed my chances of escaping notice. As soon as he left, my first teacher told me I would never be known as Earwig in her cla.s.sroom and that my new name was Charlene. Charlene Ellsbree.

TEACHER:.

Charlene, would you like to stand at the chalkboard and tell the cla.s.s about yourself?

ME:.

No thanks. My name is Earwig.

T:.

Charlene, would you like to stay an hour after school sc.r.a.ping gum off desks?

[I stood at the chalkboard and told them all about myself.]

ME:.

My name is Earwig Dungeon. I come from Wichita, Kansas. My mom and I used to own a restaurant where we served human flesh. It was very popular. We were millionaires. I had a pony and a yacht. Now we are on the run from the FBI...

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