Part 22 (2/2)
”And where did you get that n.o.ble responsibility, Andrew? Did G.o.d come down to the mountain and carve your license to rule people on tablets of stone?”
”Fine,” said Ender. ”What do you you suggest?” suggest?”
”I suggest you stay out of business that doesn't concern you. And frankly, Andrew, that includes pretty much everything. You're not a xen.o.biologist. You're not a physicist. You're not a xenologer. In fact, you're not much of anything anything, are you, except a professional meddler in other people's lives.”
Ela gasped. ”Mother!”
”The only thing that gives you any power anywhere is that d.a.m.ned jewel in your ear. She She whispers secrets to you, whispers secrets to you, she she talks to you at night when you're in bed with your talks to you at night when you're in bed with your wife wife, and whenever she wants something, there you are in a meeting where you have no business, saying whatever it was she she told you to say. You talk about Quara committing treason-- as far as I can tell, you're the one who's betraying told you to say. You talk about Quara committing treason-- as far as I can tell, you're the one who's betraying real real people in favor of an overgrown piece of software!” people in favor of an overgrown piece of software!”
”Novinha,” said Ender. It was supposed to be the beginning of an attempt to calm her.
But she wasn't interested in dialogue. ”Don't you dare dare to try to to try to deal deal with me, Andrew. All these years I thought you loved me--” with me, Andrew. All these years I thought you loved me--”
”I do.”
”I thought you had really become one of us, part of our lives-”
”I am.”
”I thought it was real--”
”It is.”
”But you're just what Bishop Peregrino warned us you were from the start. A manipulator. A controller. Your brother once ruled all of humanity, isn't that the story? But you aren't so ambitious. You'll settle for a little planet.”
”In the name of G.o.d, Mother, have you lost your mind? Don't you know know this man?” this man?”
”I thought I did!” Novinha was weeping now. ”But no one who loved me would ever let my son go out and face those murderous little swine--”
”He couldn't have stopped Quim, Mother! n.o.body could!”
”He didn't even try. He approved approved!”
”Yes,” said Ender. ”I thought your son was acting n.o.bly and bravely, and I approved of that. He knew that while the danger wasn't great, it was real, and yet he still chose to go-- and I approved of that. It's exactly what you you would have done, and I hope that it's what would have done, and I hope that it's what I I would do in the same place. Quim is a man, a good man, maybe a great one. He doesn't need your protection and he doesn't want it. He has decided what his life's work is and he's doing it. I honor him for that, and so should you. How dare you suggest that either of us should have stood in his way!” would do in the same place. Quim is a man, a good man, maybe a great one. He doesn't need your protection and he doesn't want it. He has decided what his life's work is and he's doing it. I honor him for that, and so should you. How dare you suggest that either of us should have stood in his way!”
Novinha was silent at last, for the moment, anyway. Was she measuring Ender's words? Was she finally realizing how futile and, yes, cruel it was for her to send Quim away with her anger instead of her hope? During that silence, Ender still had some hope.
Then the silence ended. ”If you ever meddle in the lives of my children again, I'm done with you,” said Novinha. ”And if anything happens to Quim-- anything anything-- I will hate you till you die, and I'll pray for that day to come soon. You don't don't know everything, you b.a.s.t.a.r.d, and it's about time you stopped acting as if you did.” know everything, you b.a.s.t.a.r.d, and it's about time you stopped acting as if you did.”
She stalked to the door, but then thought better of the theatrical exit. She turned back to Ela and spoke with remarkable calm. ”Elanora, I will take immediate steps to block Quara from access to records and equipment that she could use to help the descolada. And in the future, my dear, if I ever hear you discussing lab business with anyone, especially especially this man, I will bar this man, I will bar you you from the lab for life. Do you understand?” from the lab for life. Do you understand?”
Again Ela answered her with silence.
”Ah,” said Novinha. ”I see that he has stolen more of my children from me than I thought.”
Then she was gone.
Ender and Ela sat in stunned silence. Finally Ela stood up, though she didn't take a single step.
”I really ought to go do something,” said Ela, ”but I can't for the life of me think what.”
”Maybe you should go to your mother and show her that you're still on her side.”
”But I'm not,” said Ela. ”In fact, I was thinking maybe I should go to Mayor Zeljezo and propose that he remove Mother as head xen.o.biologist because she has clearly lost her mind.”
”No she hasn't,” said Ender. ”And if you did something like that, it would kill her.”
”Mother? She's too tough to die.”
”No,” said Ender. ”She's so fragile right now that any blow might kill her. Not her body. Her-- trust. Her hope. Don't give her any reason to think you're not with her, no matter what.”
Ela looked at him with exasperation. ”Is this something you decide decide, or does it just come naturally to you?”
”What are you talking about?”
”Mother just said things to you that should have made you furious or hurt or-- something something, anyway-- and you just sit there trying to think of ways to help her. Don't you ever feel like las.h.i.+ng out at somebody? I mean, don't you ever lose your temper?”
”Ela, after you've inadvertently killed a couple of people with your bare hands, either you learn to control your temper or you lose your humanity.”
”You've done that?”
”Yes,” he said. He thought for a moment that she was shocked.
”Do you think you could still do it?”
”Probably,” he said.
”Good. It may be useful when all h.e.l.l breaks loose.”
Then she laughed. It was a joke. Ender was relieved. He even laughed, weakly, along with her.
”I'll go to Mother,” said Ela, ”but not because you told me to, or even for the reasons that you said.”
”Fine, just so you go.”
”Don't you want to know why I'm going to stick with her?”
”I already know why.”
”Of course. She was wrong, wasn't she. You do do know everything, don't you.” know everything, don't you.”
”You're going to go to your mother because it's the most painful thing you could do to yourself at this moment.”
”You make it sound sick.”
”It's the most painful good good thing you could do. It's the most unpleasant job around. It's the heaviest burden to bear.” thing you could do. It's the most unpleasant job around. It's the heaviest burden to bear.”
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