Volume 10 Chapter 8 (1/2)
This chapter was brought to you by AnmesicCat, and StellarAshes.
When Caffey Was Still Caffey…
“You want to challenge me?”
The Dragon Emperor was rather surprised. There was rarely anyone who would challenge him. Before he ascended to the throne, his personality was gentle, and he rarely fought with anyone. After his coronation, n.o.body would dare to challenge the Dragon Emperor. But now, a woman suddenly wanted to challenge him?
“Yup, I heard the Dragon Emperor has been undefeated for hundreds of years?” The girl’s eyes seemed to be filled with a craze for combat.
The Dragon Emperor smiled. He had only been on the throne for almost a hundred years, so where could his t.i.tle of being undefeated for hundreds of years have come from? But, to everyone else, the Dragon Emperor wasn’t just one person. The Dragon Emperor… also the King of the Dragon Continent, was an undefeatable symbol for the leader of all Knights.
“So, are we going to have a duel or not?” The girl asked impolitely.
“A Knight challenger must first provide the name and rank.”
“My name is Susanna, and healers don’t have ranks.” Susanna casually announced her name.
Getting challenged by a healer? The Dragon Emperor didn’t know how to react. Though within the Dragon Continent, there were some who would secretly call him the most useless Dragon Emperor in history, but getting challenged by a healer was still ridiculous.
“Wait!” Another big boy rushed hurriedly over and yelled loudly, “I’m Gle, Magician, and I want to challenge you, too!”
Yet another challenger? The Dragon Emperor thought the situation was getting interesting, especially when the Royal Knights at his side were so angry that their faces turned purple. Had the Dragon Emperor not have stopped them, they might have already chopped the two into pieces.
“Well, fine, I am Caffey. My rank… I guess Dragon Emperor.”
The Dragon Emperor unexpectedly chose to battle. It was widely known that combat was something he avoided whenever he could. Compared to fighting, he’d rather swing the sword around like a beautiful dance. He performed a Knight salute, then unsheathed his thin sword, while smiling vaguely at the two youngsters.
Though the fact that the Dragon Emperor had accepted this challenge made all his Knights drop their jaws, but since it was the will of the Dragon Emperor, they had no choice but to obey and back off to give them room for the fight.
Susanna turned around and impolitely said to Gle, “Hey! I don’t want to bully him in a 2v1. I challenged him first, so you have to let me fight him first.”
Gle shrugged. He did somewhat follow the rule of “first come first served”, especially when it was the crazy woman, Susanna, who arrived first. If he didn’t let her go first, they might end up fighting each other first.
“I’m coming, Caffey.” Susanna’s interest in the battle had peaked, and she no longer wanted to wait a single moment. As soon as she finished, she charged immediately, regardless whether her opponent was ready.
‘She called me Caffey…‘ The Dragon Emperor blinked. ‘How many years had it been?’ Other than Bairui, Miluo, and his own eldest son, no one had ever called him by his name. When this girl called him Caffey, he suddenly remembered, right, his name was indeed Caffey, so why did he always refer to himself as the Dragon Emperor?
“Why are you frozen?!”
Susanna’s fist arrived before her voice. When Caffey heard the word “frozen”, the fist already collided with his face. He didn’t remember he was in a fight until now.
‘Sigh, looks like my condition to stop and ponder hasn’t improved. c.r.a.p! I didn’t even use my aura? This punch is gonna hurt.’
“Wow, d.a.m.n!” Gle widened his eyes, “Susanna, you beat the Dragon Emperor into the ground in one punch. What’s the point of the rest of the fight?”
Without the protection of his aura, Caffey’s body was likely less strong compared to Susanna, especially when his face clashed against her fist. It would’ve been strange if he didn’t fall. Caffey felt like he could see stars, and his cheek hurt so much that it felt like he had been disfigured.
Susanna carefully observed at Caffey lying on the ground: though his elegant face was now half bruised, he seemed to have looked even more pitiful? This could easily ignite a woman’s desire for caring and protection! No! She had to hit him harder so he would puff up like a steamed bun, and she could save her fellow females.
Caffey had just finished looking at the stars. When he turned, a large fist appeared right in front of his face. Caffey’s first reaction was actually thinking, ‘Was she… always targeting my face?’
As if to confirm Caffey’s hypothesis, Susanna landed all her punches in his face. Her punches were so fast that the Knights on the side were watching as though they had forgotten the person who was getting a beat on was their own Emperor. They stared blankly at the crazy woman, swinging mercilessly as though she was beating on her cheating husband.
“Susanna’s fists are merciless to faces. Sigh, pitiful.” Gle shook his head and sighed, though he thought it was strange for the Dragon Emperor to not use his aura to defend, nor did he fight back. Could he really be that confident?
“Whew! This will definitely leave him disfigured.” Susanna punched to the point where she had to try and catch her breath. She was confident her punches were enough to disfigure a man’s face.
“Miserable! Really miserable!” Gle couldn’t bear the sight and turned his head. This was the elegant Dragon Emperor just moments ago, but now it was a medicine-flavored steam bun. It was puffy and purple, and hard to look at.
Susanna looked. She thought it was her best masterpiece in her history of disfigurement; never had there been another person whose disfigurement was as thorough as this. She couldn’t help but put her hands on her hips and laughed into the sky. She finally helped her female sisters relieve yet another problem!
At this time, Caffey’s right palm lightly covered his face. After a faint purple light, he removed his hand, and an elegant yet handsome face appeared again. He could now finally open his mouth to speak; before, his mouth was swelling from the punching, and he couldn’t speak at all. Caffey asked with confusion, “Why would you only aim for the face? It’s not a vital organ.”
“Because it is my honor to disfigure handso— … wait! How did your face return to normal?” Susanna fell to her knees. She grabbed Caffey’s face and looked left and right, but not a single trace of bruise could be found. Her masterpiece was now completely gone, and she felt deeply disappointed.
“I healed it with healing magic.” As for Susanna holding his face, Caffey simply blinked without saying anything.
“Healing magic? Why would a Knight use healing magic? Do you even know what a Knight is? A Knight is what charges into the frontlines as meat s.h.i.+elds! And I also despise people who steal my jobs!” Susanna gritted her teeth. She wanted to beat on him again, but she knew this man’s healing magic was far too powerful. She couldn’t believe he healed his wounds in the blink of an eye, and his healing magic may very well have surpa.s.sed hers, the actual healer…
“Ah… I’m really sorry.” Caffey apologized. He wasn’t aware he had robbed someone else of their job. True, as a Knight, it was unfitting of him to learn those healing, sealing, and hypnosis magic. ‘Sigh! I really shouldn’t have.’
“Hey, Caffey, do you want me to disfigure your or not?” Susanna complained, “If you heal after I beat you, isn’t that just a waste of my effort? And I would never be able to disfigure you. You are a man, why do care about your appearance? Does it really matter if you let me disfigure you?”
“Uh?” Caffey paused, “I guess it doesn’t matter. But even if I don’t heal it, won’t it still heal itself over time?”
“Then what do you think if I cut it with a knife?” Susanna earnestly tried to think of another plan.
Caffey thought about it seriously, about whether this method of disfigurement would work. However, after thinking about it for a while, he explained, “Then it would last a bit longer, but it would still heal itself eventually. I am a Holy Knight, and my body can already heal itself.”
“That’s troublesome. So what can I do to destroy your face?” Susanna actually asked the person receiving the disfigurement, on how she could do it; it was practically identical to asking a pig how it could be cooked into a meal.
“Hmm…” Caffey actually gave this some thought. He was frustrated that, despite his Kung Fu being so-so, his healing magic was practically unparalleled, and his self-healing powers were strong as a result. No matter how much he thought, he could not think of a way to permanently disfigure him. He was now regretting learning healing magic too seriously, resulting to the current situation.
Finally, Caffey shook his head in depression and said, “No, I can’t find a way. Perhaps you can tell me what you’re trying to do by disfiguring me, then perhaps I could help you find another plan.”
“So you can’t use your face to philandering around, causing women heartaches!” Susanna said righteously.
“I see…” Caffey tilted his head and thought, “Well, I think you could marry me, then you could manage how I live, and I wouldn’t be able to seduce any women with this face. What do you think of that?”
“I see? But I’m still a student, so I can’t go with you to the Dragon Continent! Even if I marry you, when I’m not next you, you would still have affairs!” Susanna was a bit frustrated. It would be years before she could graduate, and he could potential harm hundreds of hearts in the few years!”
“Hmm! Fine, then before you graduate, I’ll stay here with you.” Caffey stated this compromise.
The Royal Knights screamed on the top of their lungs, “My G.o.d! Someone contact Eldest Prince now! Dragon Emperor’s ‘Intermittent Idiot Syndrome’ is having an attack again!”
“What, did you just do something stupid?” Susanna turned her head and asked with confusion.
“Did I?” Caffey thought briefly, and then suddenly clapped his hands together, “I know, it must be because I stood still while you beat me up, and I even forgot to release my aura to block it.”
“I see. That was indeed stupid. Don’t forget to release your aura next time; you are a Knight after all.” Susanna nodded.
“I know. I won’t forget it again.” Caffey nodded, then thought about it and said with a smile, “Actually, it doesn’t matter if I forget it. You’re going to marry me, and you can remind me whenever I forget it.”
“That’s true, then it doesn’t matter if you forget.” Susanna patted her chest and promised, “I will remember to remind you.”
“That’s great. It’s great to have a wife.” Caffey smiled idiotically.
Gle felt a bit speechless as he witnessed the conversation between two people with less than 50 IQ. He was quiet for a long time, doing something stupid “again”? And he had a son… Gle couldn’t refrain from asking Caffey, “Hey, how did you even marry your first wife?”
“Hmm? It was through matchmaking.” Caffey smiled as he answered.
It sounded fairly normal. Gle scratched his face. Maybe he was thinking too much…
Caffey added, “I saw her picture in the personals sections of a newspaper. I thought I probably was old enough for marriage, so I ran to ask for her hand in marriage. In the end, however, it turned out I was looking at some old newspaper, and she was already married.”
“What? Then how did you marry her? Don’t tell me you stole her away from her husband?” Gle widened her eyes.