Part 12 (1/2)

Mom let out a sigh. ”What time is he coming over?”

”Five. I didn't want him to think it was a date. So, I told him, if he came over early, Amanda and Bobby would have time to play.”

”Good.”

Tracy stopped pacing and looked at her mother. ”Mom, am I making a mistake? I don't want him to think I'm a s.l.u.t...” She shook head and started pacing again. ”Mandy really likes me. She's such a little spitfire.”

”She needs a mother.”

”Yeah, but her father doesn't want that woman to be me.”

Her mother came around the counter and took Tracy into her arms as if she was still a little girl. ”Tracy, Zack Cartwright is a good man. He's honest and groundednow that he's not risking his fool neck by riding wild horses. He loved you once, sweetheart. No man forgets his first lovenot completely. He may have loved his wife, but she's dead and gone. And for a year now, the two of you have gone from avoiding each other to eating together, and setting the dance floor on fire.” Her mother paused. Tracy met her blue eyes, and her mom took a deep breath. ”Zack will come around. Just don't underestimate yourself.”

”Mom, what if I can't make him fall in love with me again? What if he can't forgive me?” What if I'm not what he's looking for?

”Sweetheart, you just be yourself, and Zack will fall head over heels in love with you.”

”Who else would I be?” But she knew what her mother meant. She had to show Zack the rumors and the mistakes were not who she really was. But telling him wasn't going to work. Zack had to see that she wasn't a cheater or vindictive. He had to figure it out on his own that she had believed a man like Zack Cartwright couldn't love a woman like her.

”You know what I mean,” her mother softly said.

”Yeah, I guess I do.” Tracy thrust out a long breath between her teeth. ”Okay, but I still have no idea what to do about dinner. I just know I can't grill steaks. I guess I could pick something up or order a pizza.”

Her mother stepped away and shook her head. ”You do know if you'd paid attention when I tried to teach you how to cook”

Tracy's glare cut her off. Her mother chuckled and headed back to the stove and her big, bubbling pot. Tracy followed her and looked in as her mom stirred the contents.

”Is that your special chili?”

”Yes. Tom Miller brought me a whole bushel of tomatoes and a bunch of different kinds of peppers from a garden the ranch hands have over at the bunkhouse. He asked if I could make them some of my famous chili.”

Tracy stared at her mother. ”How on Earth could anyone know about your chili? You've only been here for two months?”

She shrugged. ”Probably Tom's uncle, Jesse Riley. I've been making this recipe since I was a girl.” Her mother winked. Jesse was a handyman who worked on the ranch and her mother's girlhood sweetheart. ”I have an idea about your dinner. Plan to eat about six-thirty. Make a salad and throw some potatoes into the oven. Get some strip or T-bone steaks.”

”Okay.” Tracy smiled and nodded. ”That sounds easy enough.”

Her mother chuckled and moved away from the pot. She opened a spice cabinet and rummaged around for a few moments, picking up bottles of spices to look at them. ”Ah. Good. We have everything I'll need.” She looked at Tracy again. ”Get a piece of paper and a pen to write this down. I'm going to give you a simple recipe for a marinade that is to die for. Then when Zack gets here, you mention about grilling the steaks outdoors, and I'll bet my secret chili recipe he'll jump right in and want to cook them.” She winked and together they said, ”Because grilling steaks is a man thing.”

After Zack tucked Mandy into bed, he went out into the living room. It was late, but he knew sleep wouldn't come easy. Lunch that afternoon had proved to him just how attracted he was to Tracy.

He wanted her.

And after denying the fact to himself for the best part of a year, he was finally ready to admit he had to have her.

He stood before the floor-to-ceiling window and looked out over the darkened beauty of his ranch. Rain pelted the window while thunder sounded over the distant ridge. Lightning flashed lighting up the land. Beyond the yard and pasture was the lake where so many of his memories had occurred, where so many of his dreams had been born. In every one of those dreams, Tracy stood beside him. Back then, he'd wanted to eventually take over his share of the ranch and raise cattle. His father and uncle had thought the idea was crazy. He was only eighteen. What did he know about anything?

Nothing.

As the thunder chased the harsh light from the sky, he turned away from the window. Logan had given him a s...o...b..x full of c.r.a.p, explaining he'd found it when he'd cleaned out his condo in Dallas. Zack hadn't asked what was in the box; he'd simply tossed it amongst the clutter of Mandy's play dishes, and his latest ranch and law enforcement magazines on the coffee table.

Picking up the old box, he sat down on the couch. He stared down at it. Would opening the lid bring chaos like the fabled Pandora's Box?

Chuckling, he mumbled, ”You are becoming way too introspective, Zack, my boy.”

Taking a deep breath, he lifted the lid. The world didn't stop spinning, and as far as he could tell, no demons were unleashed, but his heart missed a few beats and breathing was impossible. He thought he'd thrown out all this stuff. How the h.e.l.l did Logan get his hands on it?

The first thing on top was a snapshot of him and Tracy standing before the Christmas tree at his parents' house. It was taken on Christmas Eve at a party. He picked it up and stared down into the image of them, smiling, hugging, two teenagers with big chips on their shoulders. Tracy had been shy about the 35mm camera his younger brother had pointed at them at every turn. He remembered what had happened later that night.

His grandparents had been out of town, and he'd stayed in the old log house to keep an eye on things for them. His grandfather knew Zack loved the old house and just wanted his own s.p.a.ce; so, every time he and Grandma went to Palm Springs, the old man let Zack stay over.

Following the party that Christmas Eve, Zack had brought Tracy here, and he'd told her about his dreams after making love to her. She must have found his ideas boring, because she'd fallen to sleep. At the time, he'd found it endearing. After all, he'd made love to her several times before he spilled his guts.

Beneath the Christmas picture was a large professionally done photograph of Tracy. Taken senior year, it was the one in their yearbook. Her hair was permed and curled high, sprayed stiff with too much hairspray. Her makeup was a little overdone, but she took his breath away.

He slowly laid it beside him on the couch and picked up the next picturea blown up snapshot of them on graduation day. As lightning flashed and thunder rattled the gla.s.s in the big windows, he went back in time. They were dressed in their caps and gowns, proudly holding their diplomasand each other. Around her neck was the sash of an honor student, and a corsage of white roses was pinned to her breast signifying her as the cla.s.s salutatorian. He'd been just happy to get through school. He hadn't cared about being valedictorian, so he'd gotten rid of the trappings as soon as he'd finished the speech and his diploma was in his hand.

”Is that you and Miz Tracy?”

He started and looked up to Mandy standing before him in her nightgown. She hugged the stuffed rabbit Lisa had given to her, and sucked on her thumb. She only did that when she was afraid.

He set aside the past and reached for the little girl he loved more than anything. As he pulled her onto his lap, he asked, ”Can't you sleep, baby girl?”

She moved her head in the negative against his chest and snuggled close. ”You didn't answer my question.”

He chuckled low in his chest. Amanda Jean Cartwright might only be six years old, but she was n.o.body's fool. ”Yeah, that's me and Miz Tracy. We were graduating high school.”

”Was Momma there?”

”No.” He sighed. ”I hadn't met your momma yet.”

”Oh.” She s.h.i.+fted away and looked into the box sitting beside him on the couch. The next photo was of him and Tracy kissing by the barn. He hadn't even known the picture was taken until Logan had tried to blackmail him with it. ”Did you like her?”

”Yeah, Mandy, I did.” How did he tell a six-year-old about the kind of betrayal he'd suffered? ”But she decided she liked Bobby's daddy more.”

Mandy lay back against him again. ”I wish she liked you again. Miz Tracy could be your friend and my subst.i.tute momma if she did. She could give me a baby sister and Bobby would be my big brother.”

”Amanda Jean.” He breathed and held her close. The picture of the pa.s.sionate kiss drew his attention, and he was painfully reminded how much he missed Tracy Quinn.

And how much he wished he could fulfill his daughter's wish.

Chapter 9.

Bobby hung up the old wall phone in the kitchen and sulked into the living room where Jake sat on his new leather recliner. Bobby bit on his bottom lipan annoying habit he'd inherited from the b.i.t.c.h. Something had him thinking.