Part 9 (1/2)
Lance shrugged and looked down at his hands, which, Zack noticed with a glance, were curled into his thighs. ”At the end of the month. But I know what he'll say. Two years ago, when we saw that other specialist, he didn't know why we aren't able to conceive and suggested we're trying too hard. How can we not try when the timing's right? Besides, Audrey and I never had a problem in the bedroom. I don't consider loving my wife 'trying too hard.' But I'll be thirty-seven in October. Audrey just turned thirty-five. We just want a baby before we're too d.a.m.ned old. If the specialist can't help, or she miscarries again, we're going to look into adoption.”
Zack made a U-turn in the pasture and Lance asked, ”What are you doing?”
”Taking you back to your wife.” Zack looked at his first cousin again. ”You and Audrey need a day away from this place. I suggest you pack a lunch and ride over to that little grove of trees by the lake on my side of the ranch and get busy.”
”Or better yet, drive down to Crawford and use that hunting cabin on your uncle's ranch.” Logan laughed and cuffed Lance on the shoulder. ”Get going, Lancelot. Why should Estrada's Thunderbolt be the only stud making babies?”
Lance smiled and opened the door when Zack stopped the truck by the back of the house. He looked from Logan to Zack and bobbed his hat brim before jumping out.
Zack waited until his brother climbed in the front seat before driving off again. An uneasy silence buzzed the air. They both were avoiding the subject of their cousin's problems. Audrey had been pregnant twice early in their marriage. The first one she lost in an accident, the second one she miscarried. For the past six years, she hadn't been able to get pregnant at all.
”Would it really be all that terrible if that paint and those princesses were to mix?” Logan asked, breaking the silence by referring to the stallion and Zack's thoroughbred fillies.
”How about it's the wrong time of the year, and I would've liked to wait until next spring when the fillies were older before breeding them?” Zack glanced at Logan. ”I'm sure that stud would throw some nice looking foals. He's a beautiful horse. I won't deny he looks like he's from good blood. Do you know where Luis got him?”
”I heard that stud was a rodeo bronco.”
Zack spared a glance at his younger brother. ”Really? Local or national circuit?”
”Don't know. I just know Luis bought him hoping to use him for breeding.”
”Interesting. I drew a stallion I swear was possessed by demons in the last NRF I was in.”
Logan fiddled with the radio and chuckled. ”I remember.”
As Alan Jackson's Livin' on Love came streaming out of the speakers, Zack flashed Logan a grin. ”That was the longest eight seconds of my life.” He'd won the saddle bronco t.i.tle that year and walked away with more cash than most people made in a year in prize money, and a silver belt buckle. Zack lost the c.o.c.kiness as he remembered the ride that ended his career. ”I drew that same horse again in Cheyenne the following year. That monster must have remembered me, because he showed me in a big hurry that he was the boss. Five seconds out of the chute, he had me in the dust and cracked two of my ribs.”
”Thus, the end of Zachery Cartwright's rodeoing days.”
Zack could sense his brother watching him.
”Why'd you give it all up so easily?” Logan asked. ”It's not like you hadn't eaten dirt or gotten kicked in the ribs before.”
”You know why.” Zack looked at Logan. ”I met Lisa. She hated everything to do with rodeo.”
”Yet, you weren't willing to give it up for Tracy.”
”That's different and you know it.” Zack tightened his grip on the steering wheel as he fought to keep his voice level. Logan knew exactly which of his b.u.t.tons to push. ”Tracy was supposed to be going to college, then on to medical school. Instead she was s.c.r.e.w.i.n.g my best friend.”
Logan sighed and shook his head. ”Ever wonder about why she'd do that?”
”h.e.l.l, yes!” Zack focused on the rutted trail. ”For over two years, I wondered. I still wonder,” he added a little subdued as he remembered their evening together watching her son's team win the football game.
”Zack,” Logan said calmly, ”have you ever asked her?”
”No.”
”Why not? It's all over town that you and she are seeing each other.”
Zack glared at his brother. ”We aren't 'seeing each other.' Being forced together for her brother's wedding and sitting together at a Pee Wee football game isn't dating.”
”Mandy likes her.”
”Mandy likes everyone. She takes after her mother. But even if I did want to date Tracy, I couldn't. Mandy is too”
”Bulls.h.i.+t.”
Zack stopped the truck beside the patched fence and snapped his attention on his brother as heat climbed his neck.
Logan didn't give him a chance to explode. ”You're still blaming yourself for Lisa's death. Why is that? She's the one who got mad, walked out, and chose to drive on a snow-covered mountain road.”
”I should've realized how hard my PTSD was on her.”
Logan huffed. ”Lisa was a nurse. She would have understood how watching your buddy getting shot after he saved your life had affected you. If I had to guess, I think you fought about something a lot more personal than your drinking whiskey instead of eating her cooking.”
Zack wouldn't talk about the fight that ended with Lisa losing her life. He pushed the door open with more force than it required and got out, then slammed it for good measure.
Logan followed him at a much more leisurely pace.
Zack lowered the tailgate and started unloading tools. ”You never did tell me why you're here.”
Logan grabbed the cooler he'd put on the truck bed back at Lance's barn. ”I wanted to talk to you.”
After depositing the crate of hand tools on the ground beside the bundle of barbed wire and cedar fence posts he'd brought out yesterday, Zack straightened and narrowed his eyes on Logan. ”Since when have you ever wanted my opinion on anything? You're the one with all the answers.”
”I don't want your opinion. But I hope I get your support.” Logan sat the cooler down and faced Zack. In jeans, plaid cotton s.h.i.+rt, boots, and Stetson, Logan looked every bit like the cowboy he pretended to be when he was up on stage singing before an audience. Zack knew his brother had no interest in the ranch or working on it. He didn't have much interest in being a lawyer either. Logan rubbed a hand over the dark growth of beard on his chin. ”Thanks for coming to my shows over the past few months. It means a lot having you out in the audience.”
Zack shrugged and grabbed a posthole digger from the truck bed. ”I never said you couldn't sing, Logan. But, I think sometimes you're putting too much energy into a hobby.”
”What if singing and songwriting weren't hobbies anymore?”
Zack met his brother's green eyes. ”Logan, you had your chance, and it didn't happen. Let it go.”
”No. One lousy summer in Nashville when I was eighteen doesn't count. Sure, I fell on my face. I didn't get a record deal, but I never gave it a chance either. I expected to blow into town and sing in a couple of bars and get picked up in a few months. To be honest, I figured Mom's fame would have opened doors for me. It didn't, and I was too impatient and let one no, thank you discourage me. I came back to Texas and headed off to college like Dad wanted me to. But I'm selling songs I've written to big name singers. Seth Kendall's latest number one single is one of my songs, and Nate McConnell's got one climbing the charts.” He tapped his chest. ”I have a CD full of my own music that's selling locally and a couple of demos making the circuit in Nashville. Plus, I'm a h.e.l.l of a lot smarter now.”
”That's giving up a lot for a dream. You're a lawyer, too. A d.a.m.ned good one. What's Lance think of you leaving the firm?” Zack put his hands on his hips and a.s.sessed the job in front of them.
”I've already talked to Lance. He's willing to cut me loose from the firm, but I can come back if things don't work out again. My only pending case goes to court in a couple of weeks. After it's settled, I'll be set.”
No one could talk reason into Logan once he had his mind set on something. So, Zack let the subject slide. He glanced at his brother. ”By the way, why the h.e.l.l haven't you ever given me a copy of your CD?”
Logan shrugged and turned away. ”Because I figured you wouldn't want it.”
Zack shook his head and looked down at his scuffed work boots. ”Well, I do want a copy. Logan, it's not that I don't believe in you, but I hope you know what you're doing. I'd hate to see you fail again.”
Logan sucked in a breath and glowered. ”Why are my mistakes always failures, but yours are always someone else's fault?”