Part 4 (1/2)
”Why don't you hold off for a bit with working, you could do with a rest and it's not the quietest of places.” She pulled a face like she had just had her upper lip waxed. I couldn't help the laugh that escaped my lips, and it felt good, only once I started I couldn't stop. Libby saw the funny side and joined in. I could feel the tension lifting from my shoulders and gave Libby a big hug. It was right what they said, laughter was the best medicine.
She flicked her red hair back off her face and looked more closely at me then she reached out and stroked a strand of my hair.
”Wow, your hair is so long, I didn't realise, why don't you...?” she cut herself off knowing the answer. She understood I wasn't the same girl I used to be or at least she tried too anyway, which I appreciated.
”Never mind, but it's still a lovely colour,” she said as she fiddled with the ends through her fingers. She used to love playing dress up when I was younger and I was her life-sized doll.
”And you've still got dad's old sweater, well don't suppose it has fit him in a while, ha!” She made a smug sort of half laugh which I didn't really understand, but as soon as she touched the sleeves I instantly tugged down the material hiding my scars, which I think upset her slightly.
She got up off the bed and made her way towards the door, as if a memory had hit her and she didn't want me to see the emotion building up. My guilt doubled.
”Get some rest honey,” and she left without looking at me, not wanting to show me her face. She was gone before I finished my good night.
I brushed my hair ready to plait it for bed and it squeaked as my hands split it into three parts. It was overly clean due to the amount of time I had spent in the shower. I hoped no one else was planning on having one as they would be in for a shock. A cold one!
I gave up on reading after only ten minutes, I just couldn't concentrate. The effect of the dream was still fresh in my mind, no matter how much I tried to block it out. It wasn't that I wanted to do this; it was just that it made more sense. I had been so frustrated all evening that I thought it would help to just forget it. However there was one aspect I didn't want to forget and it was the same one I was trying desperately to remember.
Why couldn't men like that really exist in the world? That's how I had made up my mind that it was a dream. Men just weren't that perfect! Well ok, I hadn't really had an extensive knowledge of the other s.e.x but from what I saw (or can remember) he was just staggeringly beautiful. More like a G.o.d than a human, maybe I had read too many mythological stories. No wonder I dreamt about him. But even I didn't think that I would have that much of a perfect imagination to create a figure of a man like that.
Don't get me wrong I'd had boyfriends before, but I had never met the ”one”. I had never felt the way Libby does for Frank, the way she talks about him, you can just see the pure happiness and pride radiating from her soul.
I had never felt like that...ever!
I took my dad's sweater off and finally started to relax as I settled down my wired mind. I turned off my lamp and pulled the covers around my body like a coc.o.o.n. I could feel my heavy lids falling and knew it wouldn't be long until I would be asleep.
But something was annoying me and this time it wasn't my brain doing overtime. It was a noise. Only it wasn't just any noise. It was a tapping. A tapping I recognised.
It was back.
I shot up so fast my head spun around the dark room, the moon was out and there was a faint glow behind a cloud that would soon come into view. I held my breath not wanting to move. My body froze and my hands were curled into b.a.l.l.s, gripping so hard on the quilt that I'm sure if I could have seen my knuckles, they would have been deadly white.
I wanted to put the light on but knew that it wouldn't help me see outside and I would only get as far as seeing my own pale refection. I waited for the moon as the tapping continued, only this time it wasn't as erratic. It made me too curious, so I bravely got up and walked over to the window seat straining my eyes, desperate to see the creature once more but I was at a loss to understand why.
The moon was coming out now and it started to create shadows in my room. But both relief and disappointment washed over me, as there was nothing there. My eyes searched everywhere but still no bird and also no trace of anything that could have been making that noise. I was about to give up but decided to open the window. I didn't know why or what difference this would make but my hand still reached for the window latch. It was a bit tough but I didn't need to worry about waking anyone, you couldn't hear anything up in my attic room.
The paint flaked and the hinges squeaked as I pushed on its frame. The cold air hit me and went straight down my spine continuing all the way down my body. I held my arms around my ribs wis.h.i.+ng I were back in my warm bed, feeling like an idiot, standing there freezing my b.u.t.t off. I poked my head out and looked down at the yard but there was nothing that had changed, still just a shed with some car parts dotted here and there. But no bird...no nothing. What did I expect, my mystery dream man to be stood there with a handful of stones he had been throwing at the window?
I laughed at myself and pulled the window back to slam it shut. The noised startled me even though I was expecting it. What I wasn't expecting was the floorboards behind me to creak even though I hadn't yet set foot on them. I turned round too quickly and almost stumbled over the cus.h.i.+on from the window seat that had fallen to the floor.
”You have trouble staying on your feet, don't you?” That perfect voice, the one I had been trying so hard to remember. It was hypnotic. It was so smooth, like silk covering my cold skin but with an edge of something strong about it. I didn't know what to do or to say. I just wished that I could see him as well as I had heard him. The room was still black because the moon had gone in again behind the safety of its clouds. I could just make out the tall, dark silhouette standing at the bottom of my bed, no more than four feet away from me. My heart rate must have tripled in seconds yet I was still scared to breathe.
”I umm.....I mean... what are you doing here?” Was all I could ask and I didn't really think why I said it. What a moron I sounded! Forget that there's a strange man in my room, I was worrying about what I sounded like. Way to go Keira, get your priorities right.
I couldn't see but I was sure he had a smirk on his face. I could hear it in his voice when he said, ”Yes well I'm sorry about just coming here like this but I wanted to give you something. I think you lost this.” He held out his hand to give me something I couldn't see but I didn't move.
”It's alright, there's no need to fear me. I would never hurt you.” He emphasised the world 'never' as if it would cause him physical pain to go back on his words. His voice also did that hypnotic thing again and made my brain turn to mush.
I stepped forward cautiously and reached out as far as I could to take what it was he was holding. I was just about to get it when he moved so quickly, it was a blurry wave and I felt the hairs on the back of my neck stand up as I realised how close he was to me. My hand had dropped to my side as I struggled to breathe again. He must have noticed my reaction because he whispered in a honey coated voice, ”Don't be afraid.”
I wish I could have found words to speak but I was numb and most definitely not with fear, it was more like l.u.s.t. Everything about him held me in some kind of spell, his smell, his body heat and most of all that voice. I think I would have done anything he asked me too.
”I...I'm not afraid!” I said in a cracked voice that sounded anything but convincing. He was so close now I could hear him smiling.
”Here,” was all he said as he took my hand very slowly into his own. The heat that rushed through me almost blew me over. It was as if I had been struck by thousands of red hot pins of pleasure. My body had never felt so alive. He turned my hand over ever so slowly as if not wanting to frighten me with any sudden movements. He must have caught my reaction the last time. He held my hand in his with my palm raised upwards and with his other hand he placed something there. His weight s.h.i.+fted towards my body as he leaned down towards my ear once more as he had done in the woods. The words flowed from his lips with such perfection I couldn't breathe at the sound.
”I shouldn't be here but I was curious about you little one.” This made me notice something else in his voice. He had an authoritative edge that made me shudder under his hands, hands that dwarfed my own, making me feel every bit the nickname he had given me. h.e.l.l, the hand that held my own could have crushed my skull with ease. I tried to swallow down a frightened lump like I had a plum stuck there.
”About....me?” I asked, barely speaking the words. I was in shock. Why on earth would he be curious about me? He raised his hand up to my face and I froze only barely being able to take a small breath. Meanwhile the moon had come out but he was still in the dark, unlike me. My pale face was now on show as he had his back to the window. The back of two of his fingers touched my cheek making me quiver at the warm path they left on my skin. I closed my eyes as the silent moments went by and his fingers continued to explore my heated face.
”Until next time, Keira,” he whispered and I loved the sound my name made from his lips. His whisper stayed in my mind like a drug working over my body. I could feel myself getting weaker until finally I couldn't fight off the urge to close my eyes...
Chapter 5- Getting Ready.
When I woke the window still held the last few minutes of night but I could see more clearly. I rubbed my eyes and wondered what it was that I had been dreaming about. I sat upright and stretched out my arms yawning, when I heard the thud of something hitting the wooden floor. I leaned over and picked up my copy of Jane Eyre. I must have fallen asleep reading it last night. How strange I couldn't remember.
I looked at the clock and it was 6:30. I rubbed my eyes and pulled back the warm covers. I got up and regretted it immediately as the cold air hit me. I quickly rushed to the bathroom wis.h.i.+ng I owned slippers as I dragged my frozen feet across the hard wooden floor. I decided to get back into bed when I had finished as it was much warmer there. The house was still quiet and I was in no rush to start the day in this weather, it felt like the seasons had changed overnight. There was ice all around the corners of my window and I s.h.i.+vered, hoping my bed was still as warm as I had left it. I slid in between the covers not wanting any of the warmth to escape.
I grabbed my book and noticed something attached to one of the pages. I shook my head at the unbelievable as I removed my metal hair clip that I thought I had lost or had I? But as I opened the book I noticed it had been placed there for a reason. The point was positioned as though to draw my attention to a part in the book I knew well but however it was a page I had not yet reached. It read...
”An impulse held me fast,-a force turned me round. I said,-or something in me said for me, and in spite of me:- ”Thank you, Mr. Rochester, for your great kindness. I am strangely glad to get back again to you; and wherever you are, is my home--my only home.”
I held the book open on the page staring at it for a long time, trying to comprehend why it should be marked on this page. My mind didn't feel like my own. It felt as though I had dreamt the last couple of days. I tried to recall what I had done yesterday but my mind came up empty. The last thing I remembered was meeting RJ at the mall and talking to Libby on the way home. But it finished there. What the h.e.l.l?
My train of thought was interrupted by the noises my stomach was making. I realised I was starving. Did I even eat anything yesterday? I couldn't remember that either. How strange but more than anything else it was utterly frustrating!
I grabbed some thick socks from a draw in my dresser and put them on my feet as quickly as I could before they turned to blocks of ice again. I tried to be as quiet as I could as I crossed the landing and went down the stairs. The steps creaked under the weight of my body making them sound as though they were moaning at me for waking them too. Once in the kitchen I flicked on the light switch and headed for the huge double door fridge. My eyes hadn't quite adjusted to the light as it was still dark outside and as always, raining. I grabbed the carton of milk and put it on the table, got a bowl, spoon and hunted for some cereal. I found one called Captain Crunch and thought I would give it a try. I clicked the kettle on and put a teabag in a mug, thus completing my breakfast.
Libby walked in the kitchen dressed in a fluffy robe with fluffy slippers to match, she looked like a pink marshmallow but h.e.l.l it looked warm! ”Nice!” I said waving my hand up and down motioning to her ensemble.
”Funny! Frank bought these for me last Christmas, and trust me you'll be wanting some in winter,” she said with a half crooked smile.
”Why, does it come in black?” I replied with a crooked smile of my own.
”So how did you sleep?” She asked as she sat opposite me with her own bowl and spoon in hand.
”On my side mainly” I giggled ”Ha, ha very funny, you know what they say about sarcasm don't you?”
”Highest form of wit, oh and I don't recall the rest,” I said as I put my bowl and spoon in the sink after finis.h.i.+ng my breakfast in record time.
”Yes and the lowest form of intelligence! And we have a dishwasher!” Of course they did, for such an old house they sure liked their mod cons.
It felt so normal to be talking like this with my sister. The way we were before all the ”crazy” happened, before I became so breakable in everyone's eyes. It felt so normal having this banter with her. We could have been sat in our family home, moaning about who was on was.h.i.+ng up duties after dinner. The thought made me smile. She didn't miss it.
”What?” she asked looking at me as if she wanted in on the joke. She was so beautiful. Even now when her hair was loose and un-brushed it just gave her a more natural beauty, unkempt and wild.
”Nothing I was just reminiscing. You in work today?” I said trying to change the subject.