Part 36 (1/2)
”Keep your presents! Do you suppose I care about them? It is yourself that I want, you, you alone.”
”Yes, I know. But once again, I am not willing, and, as the consent of both the parties is necessary for a rendez-vous, I am very much afraid it will not take place, if I persist in my present views. This is what I am trying to impress upon you with all the clearness of diction of which I am capable. I see it is inadequate; but as I cannot improve it, I beg you to kindly accept the accomplished fact with a good grace, without prying into what you consider obscure about it, since you do not admit that it is within the limits of probability. I am most anxious to bring this discussion to an end. It can lead to no result, and might perhaps force me to be impolite.”
”People have been t.i.ttle-tattling about me?”
”No!”
”Oh yes, I guess as much! People have been talking about me, don't deny it. They have said things about me behind my back! I have terrible enemies, Demetrios! You must not listen to them: I swear to you by the G.o.ds, they lie!”
”I do not know them.”
”Believe me! Believe me, Well-beloved! What interest could I have in deceiving you, since I desire nothing from you except yourself?”
[Ill.u.s.tration]
”You are the first person I have ever spoken to like this . . .”
Demetrios looked her in the eyes.
”It is too late,” he said. ”I have possessed you.”
”You are raving . . . When? Where? How?”
”I speak the truth. I have possessed you in spite of yourself. What I hoped from your complaisance you have given me without your knowledge.
You took me to the country you want to go to, in a dream, last night, and you were beautiful . . . ah! you were beautiful, Chrysis! I have returned from that country. No human will shall force me to see it again. The same event never brings happiness twice. I am not so mad as to ruin a happy souvenir. I am indebted for this to you, you will say; but as I have only loved your shadow, you will dispense me, dear creature, from thanking your reality.”
Chrysis pressed her hands to her temples.
”It is abominable, abominable! And he dares to say this! And he makes a boast of it!”
”You jump to definite conclusions very quickly. I have told you that I have had a dream: are you sure that I was asleep? I have told you that I was happy: does happiness, according to you, consist in the gross physical thrill which you say you are so expert in producing, but which you cannot diversify, since it is much the same with all women who give themselves! No, it is yourself that you belittle by taking this most unbecoming point of view. I think you do not quite realise all the felicities which spring from under your footsteps. What differentiates mistresses from one another is that they have each a fas.h.i.+on, personal to themselves, of preparing and terminating an incident which, as a matter of fact, is as monstrous as it is necessary, and the quest of which, supposing we had only it in view, would not be worth all the trouble we take to find a perfect mistress. In this preparation and in this termination you excel beyond all women. At least, it has been a pleasure to me to think so, and perhaps you will grant me that after having produced the Aphrodite of the Temple my imagination has had no great difficulty in divining the manner of woman you are. Once again, I will not tell you whether it is a question of a night dream or a waking error. It is enough for you to know that, whether dreamed or conceived, your image has appeared to me in an extraordinary frame. Illusion; but, in all things I shall prevent you, Chrysis, from disillusioning me.”
”And me, what do you mean to do with me, who love you still in spite of all the horrors that proceed from your mouth? Have I had the consciousness of your odious dream? Have I had my share in this happiness of which you speak, and which you have stolen, stolen from me!
Has one ever heard of a lover so amazingly selfish as to take his pleasure of the woman who loves him without allowing her to share it!
. . . This confounds all thought. It will drive me mad.”
At this point, Demetrios dropped his tone of mockery, and said, in a voice that trembled slightly:
”Did you trouble yourself about me when you took advantage of my sudden pa.s.sion to extort from me, in a moment of folly, three actions which might have destroyed my existence, and which will always leave behind them the remembrance of a triple shame?”
”If I asked this, it was to attach you to me. I should not have got you if I had given myself.”
”Good. You have been satisfied. You have held me, not for long, but you have held me, nevertheless, in the serfdom you desired. Today, you must allow me to free myself!”
”I am the only slave, Demetrios.”
[Ill.u.s.tration: He freed himself from both her arms.]