Part 9 (1/2)

I whisper the words, but I know that he has heard me when his arm tightens almost imperceptibly around me. ”When?”

”In Santa Fe. You were outside with Ronnie. I'd just taken a shower.”

”Why didn't you tell me before? Wait,” he immediately amends. ”I know why. I was being an a.s.s.”

I roll over, because I need to see his face. ”No,” I say, then kiss him gently. ”You were trying to protect me. In a boneheaded way, sure,” I add, drawing a small smile from him. ”But the thought was there. And I didn't tell you because you had enough on your plate with Ronnie and the news about Reed.”

He flashes an ironic grin. ”So you were trying to protect me, too. Aren't we a pair?”

My smile is wide and easy. ”I like to think so.”

He continues to stroke my shoulder, and I sigh, simply enjoying the sensation. But after a moment, I prop myself up on my elbow, frowning. ”Why did Jeremiah not want the connection between you and Damien revealed? I mean, it made a little bit of sense back when Damien was the golden boy with his face on cereal boxes. But now?”

Jackson shakes his head. ”I don't know. To be honest, I wonder if he might be the one who leaked it.”

”The father doth protest too much?”

”Something like that.”

”But why?”

”No idea,” Jackson admits. ”And right now, I'm not interested in thinking about it.” He draws me close and I tuck my head against his chest. ”Sylvia, tomorrow at the”

”I don't want to talk about tomorrow. Please. Can we just not?”

There is silence for a moment, and then he says, ”All right. But it's coming whether we want it to or not.”

I know that. I do. But for a few more hours I want to hold tight to the illusion.

And maybe, if I wish hard enough and hold Jackson tight enough, I can make the fantasy real.

nine.

As police stations go, it probably doesn't get much better than the Beverly Hills Police Department. I'm no expert, but I've watched enough cop shows to know that most police stations sport walls with dull gray paint that probably used to be white, Plexiglas barriers that are so clouded they're no longer transparent, and lots and lots of faded, crumpled notices tacked to walls.

Not so this station. I'm sitting on a polished wooden bench in a long hallway. It's not travertine tile, but the flooring is clean and polished. For that matter, everything is clean and s.h.i.+ny, from the building to the people who work here. And right now, I'm focusing way, way too much on all of it. Because if I spend my time noticing the way the light from the window makes a geometric pattern when it hits the opposite wall, then maybe I won't completely freak out about the fact that Jackson has been in an interview room with Harriet and two detectives for almost an hour.

They'd arrived before I did at eight this morning. Jackson had told me not to come. ”You can't go into the interview, so you'll be sitting by yourself worrying. Go to work. Do something. Don't think about it. And I'll be with you before you realize any time has pa.s.sed at all.”

It was a great plan in theory, and when Jackson dropped me by my condo on his way to Beverly Hills, I was totally on board. But then my car decided it had other plans, and I ended up on Rexford Drive at the art decoinspired building.

Now I'm doing exactly what Jackson said I would be doingworrying instead of working.

And, yes, I know that he won't be saying anything except, ”On the advice of my attorney, I refuse to answer,” yada yada yada. But what if they arrest him? What if the last moments he had free were last night?

What if today is the day that I lose him?

I pull out my phone to call Ca.s.s, but on Mondays she doesn't open the studio until two, and so she tends to sleep in. I know she won't mind if I wake her, especially under the circ.u.mstances, but she and Siobhan haven't been back together that long, and I hate to interrupt. Especially since I'm so happy that Siobhan is back in Ca.s.s's lifeand Zee is so very out of it.

I stroke my thumb idly over the surface of my phone, debating. But in the end I slide it back into my purse. I'm a big girl, after all. I can go it alone.

Oh, G.o.d.

Those words slice through me, because I do not want to go it alone. Not now in this hallway and certainly not for the rest of my life.

Breathe. Just breathe.

I do, and that's my mantra for about ten minutesjust breathe. But as each minute ticks by, my fear is ratcheting up, too. And when I can't stand it anymore, I yank my phone out of my purse and am just about to dial when I hear my name from the wrong end of the hallway.

I glance automatically toward the doors through which I expect Jackson to emerge. He's not there, of course, and when I turn in the other direction, I see Orlando McKee striding toward me.

”Ollie?”

Ollie works as an a.s.sociate at Bender Twain, but I can't imagine why he's here. I leap to my feet, suddenly panicked. ”What is it? What's wrong?”

”Nothing. I haven't heard a thing. Nikki asked me to come.”

”Really?”

I must sound as astounded as I feel, because he laughs. ”I guess Damien told her you weren't at the office, and she figured you were here. Worried. So she called me.”

”That's incredibly sweet.” I'm genuinely touched. I like Nikki a lot, and we've become friends, but in the grand scheme of things we still don't know each other that wellthe only truly close friend I've ever had is Ca.s.s. But I think it's a friends.h.i.+p worth working on, and the simple fact that she sent Ollie to hold my hand tells me that she feels the same way.

”How's Ca.s.s?” he asks. ”Has she decided what she's going to do?”

”She wants to go forward,” I say, referring to Ca.s.s's plan to franchise Totally Tattoo. ”I'm sure she'll call you soon about the next step, but right now she's in that blissful new relations.h.i.+p stage. Renewed, actually, but why split hairs?”

”Good for her. I hope it sticks.”

Since I happen to know that his attempts to renew a relations.h.i.+p were less than successful, I change the subject. ”I'm having drinks with her and my brother tomorrow night. I'll tell her you said hi. Maybe that'll nudge her.”

”Definitely tell her h.e.l.lo for me, but no need to nudge. She needs to take her time and be sure.”

”You sound very lawyerly.”

”I practice in the mirror every morning,” he deadpans, making me laugh.

”You're looking very lawyerly, too.” His long hair has been cut short, and his gla.s.ses have been replaced by contacts. Basically, Orlando McKee has gone from hippie to hot.

”I decidedwell, I decided it was time to grow up a bit.”

I smile in response, but the truth is that I've surpa.s.sed my small-talk quota. I turn away from Ollie to stare at the closed door at the end of the hall. The door that leads to the bull pen and the detectives' offices and an interview room with Jackson in it.

”I'm starting to really get scared.” My words are so soft that I'm not even sure that Ollie has heard them.

”I know.” He hooks an arm around my shoulders and I lean against him. ”But even if they arrest him, that's not”