Part 24 (1/2)

”With you to back me, little woman! Yes, I guess I can make it this time, with you waiting for me!”

Genevieve met his smile and enthused gaze with a look of firm decision.

Her doubt and hesitancy had at last crystallized into a set purpose.

She replied in a tone that rang with a hardness new to him: ”No. It must be more than that.”

”More?” he asked, surprised.

”More, much more. That morning, after I so shamelessly forced you to listen to me, nothing could have altered my purpose had you come aboard the steamer with me.”

”But I couldn't then. 'T wouldn't have been fair to you.”

”Yet it might have been wise. Who knows? At the least, the question would have been settled 'for better or for worse.' It is easier to face the trouble which one cannot escape than deliberately to make choice of entering into the state that may or may not bring about the dreaded misfortune. Had you married me then, Tom, I would surely have been happy for a time. But now--you have made me believe that you were right.”

Blake drew back from her, his head downbent in sudden despondency. ”So you've found out you don't feel the same?”

Her eyes dimmed with tears of compa.s.sion for him, but her voice was as firm as before. ”I loved Tom Blake because he was so manly, so strong!

I still love that Tom Blake. You are not sure that you are strong.”

”But if I knew I had your love back of me, Jenny!”

”That's it--you wish to lean on me! It's weak; it's not like you. You won my love by your courage, your resolution, your strength! All my love for you is based on your strength. If that fails--if you prove weak--how am I to tell whether my love will endure?”

”I'll win out. I know I can win out if I have you to fight for.”

”If you have me to _lean_ on! No; you must prove yourself stronger than that. I had no doubts then. I urged you to marry me--flung myself at you. But now, after what I've been forced to realize since then--”

She stopped short, leaving him to infer the rest. He took it at the worst. He replied despairingly yet without a trace of bitterness: ”Yes, you'd better take Jimmy. He's your kind.”

”Tom! How can you? I've a great esteem for Lord James, I like him very much, but--”

”He's the right sort. You could count on being happy with him,” stated Blake, in seeming resignation. She looked at him, puzzled and hurt by his calmness. The look fired him to a pa.s.sionate outburst. ”Don't you think it, though! He's not going to have you! I can't give you up! I'm going to win you. My G.o.d! I love you so much I'd try to win you--I'd have to win you, even if I thought you'd be unhappy!”

Her voice softened with responsive tenderness. ”Oh, Tom, if only I knew we would have--would have and keep that great love that covers all things! I'd rather be miserable with you than happy without you!”

”Jenny! you do love me!” he cried, advancing with outstretched arms.

She drew back from him. ”Not now--not now, Tom!”

He smiled, only slightly dashed. ”Not now, but when I've made good.

You'll wait for me! I can count on that!”

”No,” she answered with utmost firmness.

”Jenny!”

”I'll make no promise--not even a conditional one. You must make this fight without leaning on any one. I _must_ know whether you are strong, whether you are the real Tom Blake I love.”