Part 14 (1/2)
Avoid discussing your own or other people's domestic concerns.
Never prompt a slow speaker, as if you had all the ability. In conversing with a foreigner who may be learning our language, it is excusable to help him in some delicate way.
Never give advice unasked.
Do not manifest impatience.
Do not interrupt another when speaking.
Do not find fault, though you may gently criticise.
Do not appear to notice inaccuracies of speech in others.
Do not always commence a conversation by allusion to the weather.
Do not, when narrating an incident, continually say, ”you see,” ”you know.”
Do not allow yourself to lose temper or speak excitedly.
Do not introduce professional or other topics that the company generally cannot take an interest in.
Do not talk very loud. A firm, clear, distinct, yet mild, gentle, and musical voice has great power.
Do not be absent-minded, requiring the speaker to repeat what has been said that you may understand.
Do not try to force yourself into the confidence of others.
Do not use profanity, vulgar terms, words of double meaning, or language that will bring the blush to anyone.
Do not allow yourself to speak ill of the absent one if it can be avoided. The day may come when some friend will be needed to defend you in your absence.
Do not speak with contempt and ridicule of a locality which you may be visiting. Find something to truthfully praise and commend; thus make yourself agreeable.
Do not make a pretense of gentility, nor parade the fact that you are a descendant of any notable family. You must pa.s.s for just what you are, and must stand on your own merit.
Do not contradict. In making a correction say, ”I beg your pardon, but I had the impression that it was so and so.” Be careful in contradicting, as you may be wrong yourself.
Do not be unduly familiar; you will merit contempt if you are. Neither should you be dogmatic in your a.s.sertions, arrogating to yourself such consequences in your opinions.
Do not be too lavish in your praise of various members of your own family when speaking to strangers; the person to whom you are speaking may know some faults that you do not.
Do not feel it inc.u.mbent upon yourself to carry your point in conversation. Should the person with whom you are conversing feel the same, your talk may lead into violent argument.
Do not try to pry into the private affairs of others by asking what their profits are, what things cost, whether Melissa ever had a beau, and why Amarette never got married? All such questions are extremely impertinent and are likely to meet with rebuke.
Do not whisper in company; do not engage in private conversation; do not speak a foreign language which the general company present may not understand, unless it is understood that the foreigner is unable to speak your own language.