6 Chapter 5 (1/2)

My eyelids were heavy, my head drooped, my body sat at the corner slouching as I tried to stay awake. I sat at the chair beside the table, avoiding my bed.

I shook my head and finished my coffee. It's my second cup tonight, it may not sound that much but for someone who's not a big fan of coffee that's one cup too much. I glanced at my watch and perked up a bit. It's already 2 am. I got up and quietly walked to the balcony door and patiently waited.

After a few minutes my breathing hitched when I saw a figure outside. My angel. I know it's weird how I've already established a claim on her in my mind but I just can't help it. I know I don't own her or anything. It's just that, that's what she is, my angel.

Like she did in the past 2 days, she climbed up her rails and sat there quietly. And again, my heart stopped, I had the urge to reach out to her. I could never be used to seeing her climb, my heart will never fail to be afraid every time she steps on the rails. Maybe I should put a trampoline at the ground just in case, or a net.

I wonder how long have she been doing this dangerous habit of hers. This time she didn't smoke. She just sat there looking down on everything. Then later I noticed movements. Her shoulders were shaking slightly. Is she cold? Is she laughing?

Then her hands went to her face, she wiped something from her cheeks and that's when it hit me. She was crying.

It wasn't like the time I first saw her, it wasn't silent. She was sobbing. Enough to make her shoulders shake, enough for me to hear the muffled sobs. It broke my heart.

I stopped myself from going outside. To hold her and to promise her everything is alright when I'm not so sure myself. To protect her from all her monsters and demons when I can't even fight my own. To let her know I'm here no matter what, because at that moment, I knew I would be whether she wants me to or not.

She ran her hand through her hair, the movement was harsh, angry, I worried she might have pulled off a few strands. She wiped at her tears that continued to flow no matter what. She leaned in further, her eyes closed, holding onto the rails. For a minute she looked like she was going to jump, her face showed she was contemplating it. And my hand went to the door knob. I was about to open the door, to run to her, to hold on to her but she shook her head and she leaned back into her balcony. She moved and jumped back into the confines of her balcony. I let out a breath I didn't know I was holding. She ran her hand through her hair again and it was even harsher. She pounded on the wall behind her and when she was tired she leaned, sobbing still. With one last wipe at her tears, she went back inside her room.

Again I was left standing there, mesmerized, confused, my heart aches for her, my mind plagued with what I've just witnessed. I wonder about the ghosts that haunt her, the demons that brings her pain. I wish I could take it all away. I would gladly give her all the happiness in me in exchange for her pain if that meant never seeing her fall apart again.

As I lay in my bed that night- early morning-, my mind swarming with thoughts of her. I've decided that I would do anything, everything, to chase all her demons and ghosts away.

==

”Rise and shine lover boy!” I was harshly pulled out of my sleep as Lester pushed me off my bed. No gentle coaxing, letting my brain register anything, allowing my body to catch up. No slight nudge as an early warning for what's to come. He just pushed me, I rolled straight out of bed and the pain of hitting the floor jolted me awake.

”What the hell?!” I screamed, glaring at Lester as I grumpily got up.

”Dude, the parade starts in 2 hours.” Lester looked like he just got out of the shower, hair still wet, newly dressed.

The information drained the annoyance in me. Suddenly I'm excited, it will be my first time witnessing a festival.

”Oh. I'm just gonna take a quick shower.” I rushed to the bathroom, leaving my blanket scattered on the floor.

When I got out, freshly showered and properly dressed, my blanket now on my bed and Lester was out on the balcony.

”Pizza on the table. Just grab some, we're going.” He ordered as soon as he saw me.