Part 2 (1/2)

Killeen shook his head slowly, obviously consulting an Aspect. ”Must be. Records are poor, though.”

”Somebody must have Aspects from that far back.”

”None from this sector, so close to True Center.”

Toby knew that Aspects got hazy and scratchy with age. Chandelier Aspects had to have interpretation programs added, to understand them at all. And it wasn't just the s.h.i.+fts in language. The hardest things to convey were the concepts. n.o.body could really comprehend how the Chandelier folk thought. ”If we could get some idea--”

Killeen shook his head. ”Humans were spread all over, back then.

This Chandelier, it looks pretty d.a.m.n fine all right, but it might have been just a minor outpost, for all we know.”

”Huh? But it's, it's beautiful.”

Killeen grinned. ”Suresay--to us. Maybe it was nothing special to people from the Great Times.”

Toby looked skeptical and Killeen waved at the screens, where wonders unfolded. ”Look, once people retreated from their Chandeliers, they went down to live on planets again. Things got rough. We stopped building big, and settled for what we could protect from mechs. The 34.Family of Families spread out among the stars, looking for safe places to hide.””That was the Hunker Down, right?””The beginning of it. They figured to hide out on planets. Thoughtmechs wouldn't have much use for them.””Because mechs live best in s.p.a.ce?”Killeen grimaced wryly. ”So they thought. On Snowglade and Trump, we first built the Grand Arcologies--cities like little Chandeliers, but smaller because of the gravity. The d.a.m.n mechs smashed them. Our tech stuff got worse and we built the Low Arcologies. Still pretty d.a.m.n bigplaces, mind you. I saw the ruins of one.””You told me. Big as a mountain.””Well, maybe a little smaller. Too big for the mechs, though. They got through our defenses and flattened the little arcologies, too, eventually.”The ancient anger in Killeen's voice made Toby say in sympathy, ”So we built the Citadels. Kept going.””Yeasay--and kept 'em well hid, so we thought. Had to live by raidin'

off the new mech manufacturing complexes. Then the mech city-minds sent rat-catchers to blast each Family's Citadel. Rooting people out, casting them to the winds. Till only Citadel Bishop was left. Then came our turn--remember?”Toby recalled with reluctance their flight from Citadel Bishop. He had been just a boy, confused, scared. Fire and smoke and death. His mother, killed by the mechs with merciful, cold swiftness.He shook himself. ”Look, Cermo said to report to you.”Killeen nodded silently. Toby could tell that he, too, had trouble shaking off the dark past. Killeen abruptly turned and sat behind hisbroad, uncluttered desk. ”I think you've been getting out of hand.”

”Oh, the sail-snake thing? Look, it wasn't my idea.””You should not get Quath stirred up. She is unpredictable.”

”Quath carried me out there. There was nothing I could do.”

”You could've signaled us, told us what was going on.”

Toby shrugged. ”I didn't think of that.””When you get in trouble, consult your Aspects.””Didn't think of that either.””You're carrying a lot of experience in those Aspects. Let them help you.””They nag me a lot.”Killeen smiled. ”That goes with the deal. They don't get to do anything except talk, remember. Imagine what that's like.””I'd rather not,” Toby said, uneasy at how this conversation was turning.”You've got to get used to working with them. Fluid. So you reach for them automaticall like scratching yourself.””They don't ride so easy yet,” Toby admitted uncomfortably.

35.

Killeen gazed steadily at him for a long moment that widened between them. ”How... how is she?”

So it had finally come out. Again.

”The same.., of course.”

K'.

flleen s lost love, s.h.i.+bo. The woman who had come into Killeen's life after Toby's mother died, a woman Toby had come to accept as nearly a replacement mother. The once-vibrant s.h.i.+bo now existed only as an Aspect carried in Toby.

She had been killed on Trump, cut down by enemy fire. In a trap set by His Supremacy, a mech-human hybrid. Toby and Killeen had managed to get her back to Argo. In the recording room the s.h.i.+p's instruments had spoken of pota.s.sium levels and neurological amalgams and digital matching matrices, terms n.o.body in Family Bishop understood. Or their Aspects.

The ancient instruments had saved as much as they could of s.h.i.+bo, reading the neural beds of her mind, the shape of a unique consciousness.

Making a recording. Then squeezing it into a chip that slid easily into a human spinal reader. Together with cell samples from her body, for long-term Family genetic records, Toby's s.h.i.+bo Aspect was all that remained of her.

Normally an Aspect lay dormant until the trauma of death pa.s.sed, often for a Family generation. But the Family needed s.h.i.+bo's skills, judgment, and lore. Killeen could not have carried her Aspect, of course; that would invite emotional disaster in their Cap'n, violating every Family precept.

Toby had been the only crew member with an open spinal slot and the right personality constellations to accept s.h.i.+bo immediately. They had used her knowledge of s.h.i.+p's systems innumerable times in the long voyage. s.h.i.+bo had a knack for techno-craft. Even better than the advice of the older Aspects from the Low Arcology Era.

But the toll on Killeen had been heavy. Another long silence pa.s.sed between the two of them, until Toby felt like jumping up and rus.h.i.+ng out, away, free of the strain he had truly not wished to carry. ”I... ”Killeen hesitated. ”Can I speak with her?”

”I don't think so, Dad.”

Killeen opened his mouth, then closed it so abruptly Toby could hear the teeth click. ”I just wanted a few words.”

”I think it's a bad idea.”

”Why?”

”You know how you get.”

”I just wanted a little--”

”Dad, you've got to let go of her.”

There was a desperate look in Killeen's eyes. ”I have. I have.”

”No you haven't. If you had, you wouldn't ask.”

His father's lips thinned until they were nearly white. Toby knew4”.

36.

Killeen was holding in a lot, the pressures of leaders.h.i.+p on top of everything else. But he couldn't give ground on this point.

He had, once. Killeen had hounded him to let his s.h.i.+bo Aspect speak through his mouth, and he had. Once. Twice. Then again and again, until Killeen wanted that contact, as miserably fleeting and thin as it was, every day.

”I suppose you're some kind of expert?” Killeen asked curtly.

”On this, yes.”

”What's your Family Counselor been telling you?”

”Just what I said. To not manifest s.h.i.+bo for you.”

Killeen slammed his fist onto his desk top with a meaty smack. ”And if I make it an order?”

”I can't obey that kind of order.”

I'll be the judge of that.” Killeen's lips twisted cruelly.

Toby took a deep breath and said as evenly as he could, ”No you won't. I'll take it to a Family Gathering.”

Killeen's face slowly lost its congested, tormented look. It went slack, pale, beaten--an expression Toby liked even less.

”You... you'd do that.” It was not a question.

”I'd have to.” His mouth was dry, sour. ”If I manifested s.h.i.+bo, it'd drive you nutso, same as before.”