Part 7 (1/2)

MRS. BEMIS: 'We might have been there yet if it hadn't been for him, papa.'

MRS. CRASHAW: 'I shouldn't want Willis mortified.'

BEMIS: 'Nor Mr. Roberts annoyed. We're fellow-sufferers in this business.'

LAWTON: 'Oh, leave it to me, leave it to me! I'll spare their feelings. Don't be afraid. Ah, there they come! Now don't say anything. I'll just step into the anteroom here.'

SCENE II: MR. ROBERTS, MR. CAMPBELL, AND THE OTHERS

ROBERTS, entering the room before Campbell, and shaking hands with his guests: 'Ah, Mr. Bemis; Mrs. Bemis; Aunt Mary! You've heard of our comical little coincidence--our--Mr. Bemis and my--' He halts, confused, and looks around for the moral support of Willis, who follows hilariously.

WILLIS: 'Greatest joke on record! But I won't spoil it for you, Roberts. Go on!' In a low voice to Roberts: 'And don't look so confoundedly down in the mouth. They won't think it's a joke at all.'

ROBERTS, with galvanic lightness: 'Yes, yes--such a joke! Well, you see--you see--'

MRS. CRASHAW: 'See WHAT, Edward? DO get it out!'

WILLIS, jollily: 'Ah, ha, ha!'

ROBERTS, lugubriously: 'Ah, ha, ha!'

MRS. BEMIS: 'How funny! Ha, ha, ha!'

YOUNG MR. BEMIS: 'Capital! capital!'

BEMIS: 'Excellent!'

WILLIS: 'Go on, Roberts, do! or I shall die! Ah, ha, ha!'

ROBERTS, in a low voice of consternation to Willis: 'Where was I?

I can't go on unless I know where I was.'

WILLIS, sotto voce to Roberts: 'You weren't anywhere! For Heaven's sake, make a start!'

ROBERTS, to the others, convulsively: 'Ha, ha, ha! I supposed all the time, you know, that I had been robbed, and--and--'

WILLIS: 'Go on! GO on!'

ROBERTS, whispering: 'I can't do it--'

WILLIS, whispering: 'You've GOT to! You're the beaver that clomb the tree. Laugh naturally, now!'

ROBERTS, with a staccato groan, which he tries to make pa.s.s for a laugh: 'And then I ran after the man--' He stops, and regards Mr.

Bemis with a ghastly stare.

MRS. CRASHAW: 'What is the matter with you, Edward? Are you sick?'

WILLIS: 'Sick? No! Can't you see that he can't get over the joke of the thing? It's killing him.' To Roberts: 'Brace up, old man!

You're doing it splendidly.'