Part 53 (1/2)
”You are not the same Mary Ann--to other people. You are a somebody.
Before, you were a n.o.body. n.o.body cared or bothered about you--you were no more than a dead leaf whirling in the street.”
”Yes, you cared and bothered about me,” she cried, clinging to him.
Her grat.i.tude cut him like a knife. ”The eyes of the world are on you now,” he said. ”People will talk about you if you go away with me now.”
”Why will they talk about me? What harm shall I do them?”
Her phrases puzzled him.
”I don't know that you will harm them,” he said slowly, ”but you will harm yourself.”
”How will I harm myself?” she persisted.
”Well, one day, you will want a--a husband. With all that money it is only right and proper you should marry--”
”No, Mr. Lancelot, I don't want a husband. I don't want to marry. I should never want to go away from you.”
There was another painful silence. He sought refuge in a brusque playfulness.
”I see you understand _I'm_ not going to marry you.”
”Yessir.”
He felt a slight relief.
”Well, then,” he said, more playfully still. ”Suppose I wanted to go away from _you_, Mary Ann?”
”But you love me,” she said, unaffrighted.
He started back perceptibly.
After a moment, he replied, still playfully, ”I never said so.”
”No, sir; but--but--” she lowered her eyes; a coquette could not have done it more artlessly--”but I--know it.”
The accusation of loving her set all his suppressed repugnances and prejudices bristling in contradiction. He cursed the weakness that had got him into this soul-racking situation. The silence clamoured for him to speak--to do something.
”What--what were you crying about before?” he said abruptly.
”I--I don't know, sir,” she faltered.
”Was it Tom's death?”
”No, sir, not much. I did think of him black-berrying with me and our little Sally--but then he was so wicked! It must have been what missus said; and I was frightened because the vicar was coming to take me away--away from you; and then--oh, I don't know--I felt--I couldn't tell you--I felt I must cry and cry, like that night when--” she paused suddenly and looked away.
”When,” he said encouragingly.
”I must go--Rosie,” she murmured, and took up the tea-tray.
”That night when--” he repeated tenaciously.