Part 12 (1/2)

WITH HIS

COAT b.u.t.tONED BEHIND

Being an Elegant Conference between English Tom and Irish Teague; WITH PADDY'S CATECHISM, And his Supplication when a Mountain Sailor.

PART I.

_Tom._ GOOD morrow, sir. This is a very cold day.

_Teag._ Arra, dear honey, yesternight was a very cold morning.

_Tom._ Well, brother traveller, of what nation art thou?

_Teag._ Arra, dear shoy, I came from my own kingdom.

_Tom._ Why, I know that; but where is thy kingdom?

_Teag._ Allelieu, dear honey, don't you know Cork in Ireland?

_Tom._ You fool, Cork is not a kingdom, but a city.

_Teag._ Then, dear shoy, I'm sure it is in a kingdom.

_Tom._ And what is the reason you have come and left your own dear country?

_Teag._ Arra, dear honey, by Shaint Patrick, they have got such comical laws in our country that they will put a man to death in perfect health; so, to be free and plain with you, neighbour, I was obliged to come away, for I did not choose to stay among such a people that can hang a poor man when they please, if he either steals, robs, or kills a man.

_Tom._ Ay, but I take you to be more of an honest man than to steal, rob, or kill a man.

_Teag._ Honest, I am perfectly honest. When I was but a child my mother would have trusted me with a house full of mill-stones.

_Tom._ What was the matter? Was you guilty of nothing?

_Teag._ Arra, dear honey, I did harm to n.o.body, but fancied an old gentleman's gun, and afterwards made it my own.

_Tom._ Very well, boy, and did you keep it so?

_Teag._ Keep it? I would have kept it with all my heart while I lived.

Death itself could not have parted us; but the old rogue, the gentleman, being a justice of peace himself, had me tried for the rights of it, and how I came by it, and so took it again.

_Tom._ And how did you clear yourself without punishment?

_Teag._ Arra, dear shoy, I told him a parcel of lies, but they would not believe me, for I said that I got it from my father when it was a little pistol, and I had kept it till it had grown a gun, and was designed to use it well until it had grown a big cannon, and then sell it to the military. They all fell a-laughing at me as I had been a fool, and bade me go home to my mother and clean the potatoes.

_Tom._ How long is it since you left your own country?

_Teag._ Arra, dear honey, I do not mind whether it be a fortnight or four months; but I think myself it is a long time. They tell me my mother is dead since, but I won't believe it until I get a letter from her own hand, for she is a very good scholar, suppose she can neither write nor read.

_Tom._ Was you ever in England before?