Part 10 (1/2)

_Simon's Wife Cudgels him severely for losing his Money._

At length Simon coming home he met with his beloved wife Margery, who, seeing his dejected countenance, she began to mistrust something, and so, taking hold of his arm, she hauled him in for examination.

When Simon saw this he could not forbear weeping, and began to tell her a dismal story concerning the stocks; but she wanted the money for the eggs; but Simon, being deaf, could not hear her, which made her fall on him with such fury that he was obliged to run up stairs and jump out of the chamber window, which, when she saw, she followed him down the town, with a hundred boys and girls after them, Simon still crying out to the people, ”You may see what it is to be married.”

And her tone was, ”You rascal; the money for my eggs,” often giving him a crack on the crown.

At length it was his good hap to get away from her.

Night drawing on, and Simon not having one penny to help himself, was forced to make the best of a bad bargain, resolved for to lodge that night in a hog-stye amongst the swine.

And so the next morning, in the presence of some of his dearest friends, he begged pardon on his knees of his sweet, kind, and loving wife, Margery.

CHAPTER VI.

_Simon loses his Wife's Pail, and at the same time burns out the Bottom of her Kettle._

Margery, being reconciled again on his humble pet.i.tion, she charged him to be careful for the future that he did not offend her as he had done before, which he promised to observe. ”Then, Simon,” said she, ”I am this day to go to a gossiping, and shall leave you at home to make a fire and hang on the kettle.”

”Yes, sweet wife.”

Now, Margery was no sooner gone but he made a fire and hung on the kettle. Then, taking the pail, he goes to the well to fetch some water, when there came an ox running down, and a butcher and his boy close after him, who called out to Simon to stop the ox, which he endeavoured to do, but the ox, giving them the slip, Simon ran in pursuit of him for the s.p.a.ce of three or four miles, and, having secured him, the butcher gave him many thanks for his kindness.

So Simon returned back to the well, but his pail was lost, and he made sad lamentation for it, inquiring about it, but could not hear nothing of it; and as the old proverb says, ”One sorrow never comes alone,” for on going in doors the fire was flaming, and the bottom of the kettle was quite burnt out.

At the sight of this he fell to wringing his hands and crying out with a lamentable tone; ”None was so unfortunate as poor Simon. What shall I say to my wife when she comes? First, I have lost my pail; and, second, I have let the bottom of the kettle be burnt out. Here will be a sad reckoning for these misfortunes.”

Just in the middle of these lamentations in comes Margery, who, having heard him, came armed and fitted for the fray.

”How now, sirrah,” said she, ”has this been the care you promised of my business?” and with that let fly an earthen pot at his head, which caused the blood to run about his ears.

This done, she took him by the collar, and cuft him about the kitchen at a most terrible rate, Simon crying for mercy, but cruel Margery still increased his misery, till the neighbours came, persuading Margery to be satisfied, ”for,” said they, ”it was but a mischance.”

”A rascal,” said she, ”for I can set him about nothing, but thus he serves me.”

They still interceded for Simon, until at length she excused him.

CHAPTER VII.

_Simon's Wife sends him to buy Soap, but, going over a Bridge, he lets his Money fall into the River; and of a Ragman's running away with his Clothes._

Margery, calling Simon to her, said, ”Will you never be careful in anything I set you about?”