Part 11 (1/2)
THIS LOOKS LIKE A SHOE, NOT A DUCK.
And then I understood that the purpose of the exercise was to hear that voice, and that there were many ways to begin hearing it, not only trying (and failing) to meet the inventor of instant ramen without an appointment.
A woman in the cla.s.s said, ”My drawing so does not look like a duck!” She must have found the voice in her head unbearable, because soon she was in tears, hitting herself over the head with a pencil sharpener. She left the cla.s.sroom and never came back.
Momof.u.ku: I want to try yoga again. I want to try yoga again.NOT WISE. I THINK THERE WILL STILL BE PEOPLE WHO REMEMBER.
Momof.u.ku: I want to buy a new trombone. I want to buy a new trombone.WHAT'S WRONG WITH THE YAMAHA?
The trombone I had played for twenty-five years, the one my parents bought me when I was in high school, had been stolen from my car in a San Francisco parking lot. For several years I had played a spare Yamaha model, but I didn't like it very much. It just didn't feel like me.
I tracked down a used instrument shop in the phone book, and drove over. I blew into nine used trombones, but they were all either too wispy- or fat-sounding. On my way out, I spotted a tenth trombone, a 1959 Conn 78H, and when I blew into it, I heard a tone that was not too wispy and not too fat. It sounded regal, but kind of dirty. Like a king standing in a swamp.
I traded in my Yamaha for the 78H, and on the way home from the instrument shop, I stopped at a Starbucks, where I sat down at one of the tables to read the essay at the end of Ramen Discovery Legend Ramen Discovery Legend Book 13, the one about hard versus soft water in ramen broths. (An essay by real-life ramen critic Hideyuki Is.h.i.+gami-under t.i.tles such as ”Toppings,” ”Scallions,” and ”Roast Pork”-appears at the end of every Book 13, the one about hard versus soft water in ramen broths. (An essay by real-life ramen critic Hideyuki Is.h.i.+gami-under t.i.tles such as ”Toppings,” ”Scallions,” and ”Roast Pork”-appears at the end of every Ramen Discovery Legend Ramen Discovery Legend paperback.) Halfway through, I noticed a woman standing in front of me. paperback.) Halfway through, I noticed a woman standing in front of me.
”You play bone?” the woman asked.
I looked up. She had gray hair and she was pointing to the instrument case at my feet.
”Yes.”
”You like jazz?”
”Yes.”
She asked a barista for a napkin and a pen. Then she wrote an address on the napkin and handed it to me.
”Go there on Monday night,” she said.
”What's there?”
”Just go. And bring the horn.”
The following Monday night, I found the address on a gray warehouse in a narrow alley. As I approached the building, I began hearing the sounds of wind and percussion instruments. I knocked on the heavy front door, but no one answered. I gently pushed the door, but it wouldn't budge.
I pushed harder, and the door flew open. The band was coming to the end of a modern, up-tempo arrangement of ”Take the A Train.”
The musicians were all men. Most looked past retirement age, and they sat surrounded by lathes, drills, and computer-controlled saws. I noticed the cereal-box man staring down from the open loft above the saxophones, and the golf-cart-c.u.m-s.p.a.ces.h.i.+p parked near the piano.
”Come on in,” the ba.s.s player said. ”We were hoping you'd show up.”
A big band usually has eighteen members. This one had only seventeen, because n.o.body occupied the third trombone chair. I set my case on one of the lathe tables, a.s.sembled my horn, and took that seat. The first trombonist reached out a well-worn hand.
”Name's Gary.”
”Andy.”
After shaking my hand, Gary examined my trombone.
”That's a fine instrument you've got there, son.”
”Thanks. Just bought it the other day.”
The ba.s.s player called out ”one hundred thirty-five,” which was the number of a tune called ”Blues Machine.” My 78H sounded warm and full on it, and when we got to the last note, I wanted to hold it out forever.
”You know, my old friend Archie used to play that horn,” Gary said.
The 78H had once been a popular model.
”Is that right? I heard that a lot of people played this horn back in the day.”
Gary shook his head.
”No. I mean, he used to play your 78H.”
The C. G. Conn company must have sold thousands of 78Hs. I had never met anyone who could identify an individual trombone just by looking at it.
”You don't believe me?” Gary asked.
”I don't think so.”
Gary pointed to the tuning slide atop the bell section of the horn. ”Archie loved tuning that horn extra-sharp for ballroom gigs-he wanted room for slide vibrato in first position-so one time he cut the inside of your tuning slide with a hacksaw. Take a look, you'll see.”
I had never looked closely at the inside of my tuning slide. But when I pulled it all the way out, I saw that the ends of the metal tubes were slightly jagged. It wasn't a factory cut.
The next tune the ba.s.s player called out was the Thad Jones arrangement ”Low Down.” Gary played the first trombone part on it. In spite of his age, he was a powerful player. His high-note range was far better than mine.
THAT'S NOT SAYING MUCH.
At nine o'clock, the band took a fifteen-minute break. I put my trombone back in the case and explored the warehouse. A pistol catalog from 1968 lay next to a belt sander, and hanging on one of the brick walls was a framed newspaper article about the band and how it had been together for more than fifty years. (The article had been published in the early 1990s.) Atop a tool case, I found a plastic alarm clock shaped like a samurai warrior. I pressed the topknot on the samurai's head, and a voice came out in j.a.panese.
”Wake up! Wake up!” it said. ”The sun is rising over j.a.pan!”
Gary heard the alarm clock.
”Son, when I was a teenager, I played on a cruise s.h.i.+p to j.a.pan, and oh, boy, that was fun.”
The way Gary said fun fun suggested that his fun had involved j.a.panese girls. suggested that his fun had involved j.a.panese girls.
”I've spent some time in j.a.pan,” I told him. ”I was in Osaka a few months ago.”
”You don't say. Gig?”
”Not a gig.”
”What, then?”
I wasn't sure if I should get into it.