Part 6 (1/2)
I repeated it.
”You mean, like Top Ramen?” Carla asked.
”That's one of his brands.”
I told Carla and Ellen about how Ando spent a year in his backyard shack, and about the managerial training on the deserted island. I did not tell them that I had been writing letters to Ando about my love life. They were both laughing.
”He also invented the cup. You know, Cup Noodles. And he built a museum dedicated to instant ramen. It's supposedly across the street from his house.”
”I can't explain why,” Carla said, ”but there's something inherently funny about instant ramen.”
Ellen agreed. ”I know a guy who writes songs about instant ramen and sings them at parties.”
I told her about Murakami's ramen song, and sang a few bars.
”So, is this inventor of instant ramen still alive?” Ellen asked.
”Barely. He's ninety-four. According to the article, though, he sometimes comes to the museum and makes instant ramen with the visitors.”
”What I would like to know,” Carla mused, ”is what makes a guy decide to spend a year in a shack trying to invent an instant noodle.”
”Right?” I said. ”I was wondering about that, too.”
Carla lay back down on the raft, closing her eyes. ”You know, you should interview him and write an article about his company.”
”Tried that. Their PR department stopped returning my e-mails.”
Ellen: ”Where does he live?”
”In j.a.pan. Osaka.”
”You should just go there!” Carla yelled. ”Just show up.” She was still lying on the raft, but laughing now. ”Maybe he'll make instant ramen with you.”
With that, Carla began splas.h.i.+ng water in the direction of my lounge chair. She prepared to defend herself, expecting me to lean over the edge of the pool and splash back. But she needn't have worried, because her suggestion had sent my mind elsewhere.
It had been ten years since my failure to fill in the blank while screaming the Go Forth Go Forth line in front of the Kmart Corporate Head, and even longer since I had watched the TV show. Nevertheless, I began recalling the ramen-related things that had happened of late: the recipe from Grandma Sylvia's recipe box; the writer who had left an instant ramen recommendation on my voice mail; Murakami's song; Ellen's friend who wrote songs about instant ramen; and now Carla's suggestion. As I thought about these things, I heard a loud voice in my head telling me to ignore them. I had not yet learned to really listen to this voice, but it must have been saying something like this: line in front of the Kmart Corporate Head, and even longer since I had watched the TV show. Nevertheless, I began recalling the ramen-related things that had happened of late: the recipe from Grandma Sylvia's recipe box; the writer who had left an instant ramen recommendation on my voice mail; Murakami's song; Ellen's friend who wrote songs about instant ramen; and now Carla's suggestion. As I thought about these things, I heard a loud voice in my head telling me to ignore them. I had not yet learned to really listen to this voice, but it must have been saying something like this: YOU SHOULD REALLY FORGET WHAT YOU ARE THINKING ABOUT DOING. YOU SHOULD REALIZE THAT THESE RAMEN-RELATED ”THINGS,” AS YOU SO ELEGANTLY CALL THEM, ARE JUST VERY MINOR COINCIDENCES THAT HAVE NOTHING TO DO WITH FATE, DESTINY, OR FIGURING OUT WHAT'S BEHIND YOUR PROBLEM. YOU SHOULD TAKE A VACATION TO SOMEWHERE NORMAL, LIKE A BEACH, AND GO SWIMMING. YOU SHOULD FIND A WAY TO GET ALONE WITH ELLEN OR CARLA AND MAKE OUT WITH ONE OF THEM. MAYBE BOTH OF THEM. YOU SHOULD DO ANYTHING BUT WHAT YOU ARE THINKING ABOUT DOING, BECAUSE YOU WILL FAIL, AND THEN WHERE WILL YOU BE? YOU SHOULD REALLY FORGET WHAT YOU ARE THINKING ABOUT DOING. YOU SHOULD REALIZE THAT THESE RAMEN-RELATED ”THINGS,” AS YOU SO ELEGANTLY CALL THEM, ARE JUST VERY MINOR COINCIDENCES THAT HAVE NOTHING TO DO WITH FATE, DESTINY, OR FIGURING OUT WHAT'S BEHIND YOUR PROBLEM. YOU SHOULD TAKE A VACATION TO SOMEWHERE NORMAL, LIKE A BEACH, AND GO SWIMMING. YOU SHOULD FIND A WAY TO GET ALONE WITH ELLEN OR CARLA AND MAKE OUT WITH ONE OF THEM. MAYBE BOTH OF THEM. YOU SHOULD DO ANYTHING BUT WHAT YOU ARE THINKING ABOUT DOING, BECAUSE YOU WILL FAIL, AND THEN WHERE WILL YOU BE?
I was not able to hear these words yet, like I said. All I knew was that I felt like an idiot for wanting what I wanted. Maybe because Carla and Ellen were splas.h.i.+ng water in my face, though, I stayed awake to my desire, and eventually I found the strength to stand up on one of the lounge chairs. My shorts and T-s.h.i.+rt were soaking wet, but I screamed the line so loud that all of Silicon Valley could have heard me.
”I wanna make instant ramen with Momof.u.ku Ando!”
There wasn't much time left in my vacation, and I did not have an appointment.
A VERY BRIEF HISTORY OF MOMOf.u.kU ANDO, PART 4 : WARTIME ENTREPRENEUR
During the war, j.a.pan tightly regulated the manufacture and distribution of textiles, making it difficult for Ando to conduct business, so he expanded into other areas.
He launched a company to make slide projectors, which the government used to train unskilled workers at munitions factories. In nearby Hyogo Prefecture, he purchased a sixty-one-acre mountain and turned it into charcoal, which he sold as fuel. With a business partner, he manufactured prefabricated air-raid shelters.
The war made Ando rich. But as he writes in many of his books, the good times were about to end.
”I did not realize that an unimaginable misfortune was awaiting me around the corner.”
When I got home from house-sitting with Ellen and Carla, I still wasn't sure that I was going to try to meet Ando without an appointment. But then I thought again about the recipe box and the voice mail from the writer in Chicago and Haruki Murakami's song, and I wondered if Momof.u.ku Ando was indeed showing me how to live. It was a preposterous idea, but I enjoyed believing it, so I traded in my frequent flier miles for a round-trip ticket to Osaka. The next morning, I bought ten installments of Ramen Discovery Legend Ramen Discovery Legend at the j.a.pan Center bookstore, stuffing them into my suitcase. On the way to the airport, I called Matt and told him where I was going. He had never heard of anyone trying to meet the person they had chosen to stand in for G.o.d, but he wished me luck. at the j.a.pan Center bookstore, stuffing them into my suitcase. On the way to the airport, I called Matt and told him where I was going. He had never heard of anyone trying to meet the person they had chosen to stand in for G.o.d, but he wished me luck.
”May the noodles be with you,” he said.
He was a big fan of Star Wars Star Wars.
Momof.u.ku: (60 days) A few hours into the flight to see you, I am having thoughts about trying to hook up with a woman in Osaka. No, I don't know anyone there, so I'm not talking about anyone specific. I mean, I'm having thoughts about trying to pick someone up. So what is happening right now? Everyone around me on the airplane seems riveted to the in-flight movie. It's a romantic comedy starring Ben Affleck and Liv Tyler. In one scene, Ben, as a single dad, visits a video store and hits on the cas.h.i.+er, played by Liv. The message is that all men and women should aspire to this-to hitting on Liv Tyler and getting hit on by Ben Affleck. Men and women except for me, that is, because I made a commitment to Matt. A few hours into the flight to see you, I am having thoughts about trying to hook up with a woman in Osaka. No, I don't know anyone there, so I'm not talking about anyone specific. I mean, I'm having thoughts about trying to pick someone up. So what is happening right now? Everyone around me on the airplane seems riveted to the in-flight movie. It's a romantic comedy starring Ben Affleck and Liv Tyler. In one scene, Ben, as a single dad, visits a video store and hits on the cas.h.i.+er, played by Liv. The message is that all men and women should aspire to this-to hitting on Liv Tyler and getting hit on by Ben Affleck. Men and women except for me, that is, because I made a commitment to Matt.
United Airlines offered a choice between an American-style meal and a j.a.panese-style one. I chose j.a.panese-style, but the rice was cold and dried out. I couldn't watch the movie without feeling bad, so I pulled Book Two of Ramen Discovery Legend Ramen Discovery Legend from my carry-on. from my carry-on.
The episode I read was set at night, with Fujimoto cooking ramen at his stand in the park. There's a portable TV near his stove, and he's watching an interview with a ramen ”producer” named Mr. Serizawa. An investor in several top-tier ramen shops (and a skilled ramen chef in his own right), Serizawa a.s.serts in the interview that too many young men are being deluded by dreams of da.s.sara da.s.sara and betting their lives on ramen. ”They study ramen on the Internet and in ramen magazines,” he says, ”and some of them eventually learn how to make good ramen. But 'good' won't cut it in this world.” and betting their lives on ramen. ”They study ramen on the Internet and in ramen magazines,” he says, ”and some of them eventually learn how to make good ramen. But 'good' won't cut it in this world.”
Was I deluding myself that I could change?
Among the periodicals in the seat pocket, I found an issue of President President, a j.a.panese men's magazine. The cover headline said, ”Sanju-dai no kachikata.” ”Sanju-dai no kachikata.” ”How to Win in Your Thirties.” Even without opening the magazine, I was pretty sure that reading ramen comic books and trying to meet the inventor of instant ramen without an appointment would not be among the recommended activities. I thought about all of the times I had traveled to j.a.pan, and I realized that I had never flown into Osaka. ”How to Win in Your Thirties.” Even without opening the magazine, I was pretty sure that reading ramen comic books and trying to meet the inventor of instant ramen without an appointment would not be among the recommended activities. I thought about all of the times I had traveled to j.a.pan, and I realized that I had never flown into Osaka.
I didn't know much about the area except for stereotypes. Osakans are supposed to be friendlier and more outwardly emotional than Tokyoites, and the city is famous for the street smarts of its merchants. (A traditional local greeting literally translates as ”You makin' money?”) A disproportionate number of j.a.panese comedians speak the brash, guttural Osaka dialect. The only time I had ever lived in the Kansai area-the region on the western side of Honshu centered around Kyoto and Osaka-was when my j.a.panese teacher in graduate school sent me and four cla.s.smates to Kyoto to improve our j.a.panese. We stayed in a college dorm, and every day, we toured the city with an expert in a different field. An architect led us through a centuries-old nagaya nagaya-a long, narrow dwelling-and an archaeologist gave us a tour of several kofun kofun-burial mounds the length of football fields that began appearing in j.a.pan in the third century. Other expert guides included a doll artist, a woodworker, and a tofu maker. On the last day, as a surprise, our teacher put us on a bus to Enryakuji, a Zen temple atop Mount Hiei, where my cla.s.smates and I were forced to endure twenty-four hours of zazen kunren zazen kunren (Zen sitting training) with monks of the Tendai sect. Along with the five of us, seventy-five teenage boys-new employees of a gas station chain-partic.i.p.ated in the training as a corporate initiation ritual. The monks showed us how to clasp our hands together in the (Zen sitting training) with monks of the Tendai sect. Along with the five of us, seventy-five teenage boys-new employees of a gas station chain-partic.i.p.ated in the training as a corporate initiation ritual. The monks showed us how to clasp our hands together in the ga.s.sho ga.s.sho pose and to sit on our heels with our s.h.i.+ns under our thighs-what the j.a.panese call pose and to sit on our heels with our s.h.i.+ns under our thighs-what the j.a.panese call seiza seiza-style. I found it incredibly painful, and my cla.s.smate Barry, an amateur bodybuilder with oversized thigh muscles, moaned in agony. While enduring the pain, we had to chant along with the monks.
”En-Don-Sha-Shou-En-Ji-Sou-Zou-Kyou-Soku . . .”
The head monk explained the chant's meaning (which is also summarized on the Enryakuji Web site): ”It is the darkness of your heart that leads to enlightenment.” We had to sit seiza seiza-style while he lectured us, and we were forbidden to speak during meals. At night we slept alongside the young gas station attendants on thin futons spread out on a tatami-covered floor. The monks made it clear that we were not supposed to talk after lights-out, but once it was dark, some of the gas station attendants crawled over to where my friends and I were sleeping and asked what we were doing in a Zen temple. We told them that we were forced to be there by our teacher. They said that they were forced to be there by their gas station company, and having bonded in this way, three of the boys asked to arm wrestle Barry. He beat them all-at the same time.
It was difficult not to question myself. I was on a plane to Osaka so that I could try to meet the inventor of instant ramen-to whom I had been praying because I was cheating in relations.h.i.+ps and obsessively dating-without an appointment. I had brought a map showing the location of Nissin headquarters, but what would I say when I got there? I had no idea. Normally I prepared long lists of questions before interviewing an executive. I had nothing.
To calm myself, I rummaged through my carry-on bag for the Nikkei Business Nikkei Business article and reread a section about Ando that I found comforting. It described a famous, long-ago incident in which an executive at Mitsubis.h.i.+, Nissin's first big distributor, boasted that Mitsubis.h.i.+ could source everything ”from ramen to missiles.” Upon hearing that, Ando reportedly complained that the Mitsubis.h.i.+ executive should have said ”from missiles to ramen,” because ramen was the more important of the two. article and reread a section about Ando that I found comforting. It described a famous, long-ago incident in which an executive at Mitsubis.h.i.+, Nissin's first big distributor, boasted that Mitsubis.h.i.+ could source everything ”from ramen to missiles.” Upon hearing that, Ando reportedly complained that the Mitsubis.h.i.+ executive should have said ”from missiles to ramen,” because ramen was the more important of the two.
As the plane made its final approach into Kansai International Airport, I looked out the window and saw whitecaps breaking over the Pacific Ocean. Would it be odd to say that they reminded me of drops of lard on top of a bowl of soy-sauce ramen? Well, they sort of did.
A VERY BRIEF HISTORY OF MOMOf.u.kU ANDO, PART 5 : THE INVENTORY PROBLEM
This is the story of how Ando was arrested by the j.a.panese military police.