Part 4 (1/2)
I wondered what he meant by ”a while.”
”No dates and no s.e.x for ninety days.”
I thought about Matt's request. In my adult life, barely a day had gone by in which I wasn't in-or in pursuit of-a romantic relations.h.i.+p. Three months seemed like an eternity. I could not imagine it.
”Are you kidding?”
”You can probably find another mentor who won't demand this of you,” Matt said.
A beautiful woman named Otsu takes pity on Takezo, releasing him from the tree. She helps him escape, so the villagers capture her as bait. Thinking she's being held in a castle, Takezo scales the castle wall searching for her. The priest, spotting Takezo on the wall, offers to lead him to Otsu. But instead, the priest guides Takezo to a small room filled with books; as soon as Takezo enters, the priest slams and locks the door, making Takezo his prisoner.
Priest: ( (speaking from behind the door) Takezo, in this room, you will become a new man. Takezo, in this room, you will become a new man.Takezo: No! Get me out of here! No! Get me out of here!Priest: Otsu will wait for as many years as it takes. In this room, there are many things for you to learn. When you have mastered them, we shall speak again. I leave you, wild fool! Otsu will wait for as many years as it takes. In this room, there are many things for you to learn. When you have mastered them, we shall speak again. I leave you, wild fool!
Three years later, Takezo emerges from the castle as a n.o.ble samurai warrior named Musas.h.i.+ Miyamoto.
”OK, I'll do it,” I said.
Matt gave me his phone number.
”Call me at least once every day. Just check in, tell me how you're doing. Also, I'm going to give you a writing a.s.signment.”
”What kind of writing a.s.signment?”
”Do you believe in G.o.d?”
As a kid I sometimes went to synagogue for holiday services. I had even gone to Hebrew school and had a Bar Mitzvah. But I didn't really believe in G.o.d. The only time I ever prayed was during the baseball play-offs, when the New York Yankees were losing and I asked Him to help them. Sometimes I would propose deals with G.o.d. My standard offer was a promise never to m.a.s.t.u.r.b.a.t.e again, in exchange for a Yankee comeback. I would look at the Yankees in the batter's box, and if their helmets looked a little s.h.i.+nier, then that was G.o.d's signal that the deal was on. The Yankees pulled off miraculous victories, but I never held up my end of the bargain.
”Not really,” I said.
”Listen, G.o.d for our purposes doesn't have to be the old man in the sky. He or She or It can be anyone. Or anything. Just as long as you can believe that this person or thing has your best interests at heart. Is there anyone who can be G.o.d for you?”
Just thinking about Matt's question embarra.s.sed me. I glanced over at the girl typing on her laptop to make sure she wasn't listening.
”Come on,” Matt urged. ”Anyone.”
”Momof.u.ku Ando.”
I just blurted it out, but somehow it seemed right.
Matt accepted the name without hesitation, even though he couldn't p.r.o.nounce it. ”Momojuku Condo. OK!”
”Momof.u.ku,” I corrected him. ”Ando.”
”Momof.u.ku Ando. Right. So, you'll write letters to Momof.u.ku Ando this week.”
”Letters?”
”Write to him about your past relations.h.i.+ps. Anything you think is relevant. Be sure to include everything you can remember, and write a letter every day.”
The whole thing sounded ridiculous.
”I'm supposed to write letters to Momof.u.ku Ando about my past relations.h.i.+ps? And then what?”
”We'll meet on Sat.u.r.day afternoon in Dolores Park, and you'll read me what you wrote.”
”That's it? Just write letters and read them to you and I'm going to change?”
”No. The letters are just so you can see the scope of your behavior, so you can get it all down on paper. After that, we'll work on changing. OK?”
I didn't know what else to do.
”OK.”
Matt got up to leave, but then he stopped.
”By the way, who is Momof.u.ku Ando?”
”I read about him in a j.a.panese magazine. He invented instant ramen.”
”You mean like Top Ramen?”
”Yes, that's one of his brands. He also invented the cup. You know, Cup Noodles.”
Matt laughed all the way out of the coffee shop.
PART II
MOMOf.u.kU AND ME
A VERY BRIEF HISTORY OF MOMOf.u.kU ANDO, PART 1 : HALLEY'S COMET
To understand how the inventor of instant ramen helped me change, it would be useful to know something about his life. No better place to start than Halley's Comet.
You see, the baby who would grow up to invent instant ramen was born on March 5, 1910. That year, Halley's Comet made one of its near-Earth flybys. To most people, this was nothing more than a coincidence.
Nissin Food Products, however, has always made a big deal about the connection. For example, on the page devoted to Ando's birth in the catalog to the Instant Ramen Invention Museum, an ill.u.s.tration shows an icy white ball zooming past Earth. The entire planet is covered in clouds except for a small clearing, through which sparkling dust from the comet's tail gently settles over j.a.pan.
There's no doubt about it. Nissin means to suggest that Ando-and maybe instant ramen itself-was sent from above.