Part 6 (1/2)

”I can understand your att.i.tude a bit - I was very sceptical at first too,” said Rudzki in his defence. ”I thought the patient must somehow be broadcasting his own emotions and programming them into the representatives. But very often during constellations family secrets come to light that the patient had no idea about.”

”For example?”

”For example, Bert h.e.l.linger himself, who created this method, once arranged a thirty-five-year-old Swede who was suffering from autism. The man kept stubbornly staring at his own hands, which usually means-”

”Murder.”

”How did you know?”

”Lady Macbeth.”

”Exactly. Staring at the ground means a grave, someone who has died, and examining your own hands or a hand-was.h.i.+ng gesture means killing. Gestures like these are typical of people suffering from autism and people who stammer. Both conditions have lots of common features, and one of them is the fact that during constellation therapy the source of the illness often turns out to be a murder. But to go back to the Swede: h.e.l.linger knew from an interview with the family that his grandmother had had an affair with a sailor, and that the sailor had murdered her. So h.e.l.linger introduced the grandmother and the grandfather into the constellation. And the person representing the grandfather started staring at his hands in an identical way. What do we conclude from that?”

”He was the murderer, not the sailor.”

”Exactly. Something came to light that no one in the family had a clue about. The grandfather had been dead for years, but the crime he had committed, the monstrous, unexpiated guilt, was the cause of the grandson's autism.”

Szacki's head was starting to ache. He'd have to buy a book to understand it all. He'd also have to find an expert to give an opinion on the video.

”I understand,” he said, rubbing his temples, ”but that was an extreme case. What's going on here?” he asked, pointing at the television screen.

”Leaving the family is interpreted within the system as a serious transgression,” explained Rudzki. ”Henryk felt incredibly guilty as a result. He also felt guilty because he hadn't said goodbye to his parents. And if there's a sense of guilt, there's no mourning. A sense of guilt connects us very strongly with the deceased, and as a result we refuse to let them go. Are you familiar with the phases of mourning?”

Szacki searched his memory.

”Disbelief, despair, organizing, adapting?”

The therapist looked at him in amazement.

”You're right. However, in reality many people stop at the second phase - despair, which no one understands and which turns into loneliness. And this uncompleted mourning remains within the family, causing each successive generation to be connected with death. Please look at what's happening. Henryk wants to go after his parents, but they don't want that. Their place is in the world of the dead, and his is in the world of the living. Let's watch some more.”

Rudzki (to Telak): I know you want to stand here, but that's not the right place for you. Please go back to the middle of the room.

Telak goes back.

Kaim: What a relief...

Telak: Please turn around now.

Kaim and Jarczyk turn round.

Jarczyk: That's much better. I'm glad I can see my son.

Kaim: So am I.

Rudzki (to Telak): What about you?

Telak: I'm glad they're looking at me, and that they're with me. But I'd like to go to them.

Rudzki: That's impossible. We'll do it another way.

Rudzki goes up to Kaim and Jarczyk, leads them over to Telak and positions them slightly to one side, behind him.

Kaim: That's perfect. I can see my son, but I'm not obstructing him. I'm not standing in his way.

Jarczyk: It warms my heart. I'd like to hug him, tell him I love him and wish him all the very best.

Rudzki: Wait a moment. (To Telak) Do you feel better too?

Telak: It's easier, but there's still something missing.

Rudzki: The resolution, but we'll do that later.

”What sort of resolution?” asked Szacki, and the therapist stopped the film. ”I was wondering earlier what all this is leading to. What does it take to reach exoneration?”

Instead of answering Rudzki started to cough violently and ran to the bathroom, from where sounds of hawking and spitting were audible for quite a time until he came back, red in the face.

”I think I've got tonsillitis,” he croaked. ”Would you like some tea?”

Szacki said he'd love some. Neither of them broke the silence until they were sitting beside each other again with steaming mugs of tea. Rudzki squeezed the juice of an entire lemon into his mug, then stirred in a lot of honey.

”Best thing for a sore throat,” he said, taking a sip. ”The resolution involves uttering so-called resolving sentences that the therapist tells the patient and the people representing his family to say. In this case I think Henryk's parents would have said: 'My son, we're going away, and you're staying behind. We love you and we're happy you're here.' Whereas Henryk would have said: 'I'm letting you go. I'm staying here. Think well of me.' Perhaps. It's hard to tell - the resolving sentences usually appear in my head when the right moment comes along.”

”And this wasn't the right moment?”

”No. I wanted to leave it to the end. Any more questions?”

Szacki said no.

Rudzki: Good. Now let's replace Mr Telak's family with chairs. (He moves Jarczyk and Kaim aside and puts two chairs in their place.) Now Mr Telak will arrange his current family. Mrs Jarczyk will be his wife, Mr Kaim his son and Miss Kwiatkowska his daughter.

Telak: But my daughter...

Rudzki: Please arrange them.

Telak positions his family, then goes back to his place. Now it looks like this: on the right, slightly behind Telak stand the two chairs representing his parents. On the left, a few yards in front of him, stands Jarczyk (his wife), looking at Telak. Behind her Kwiatkowska and Kaim are standing next to each other. They're looking towards the chairs. Telak isn't looking at any of them.

Rudzki: OK, so that's how it looks. Mr Telak?

Telak: I feel rotten. Guilty. I've got spots before my eyes. May I sit down?

Rudzki: Of course. Please sit on the floor and take a deep breath.

Telak sits down, puts his hands to his mouth and breathes deeply. He keeps his gaze fixed on a single point in s.p.a.ce.

Jarczyk: I like it when he feels bad.

Rudzki: And the children?

Kaim: I'm happy to have my sister standing next to me.