Part 4 (2/2)
But we have only begun to get at the meaning of Jesus' words. Is there still a _fixed purpose_ to follow regardless of what meaning these words may yet disclose? Not impossibly the company of those willing to go straight through this verse with a calm, determined ”yes” to every word of Jesus, will grow smaller as we go on.
A Character Sketch.
Let us go a little farther. ”If any man would come after Me let him _deny himself_.” ”Deny himself”--what does that mean? Well, deny means to say ”no,” plainly and positively. Himself is the smoother English word for his self. Let him say ”no” to his self. Please notice that Jesus is not speaking of what is commonly called self-denial. That is, repressing some desire for a time, sacrificing something temporarily in order to gain an advantage later. That sort of thing is not peculiar to the christian life, but is practiced by all cla.s.ses, even among the lowest. He is not speaking of that, but of something far more radical.
Reading the verse through again, it will be seen that there are three distinct persons referred to by Jesus. First, the ”any man” He speaks of, and then the two others represented by these words ”himself” and ”Me,” either one or the other of whom is influencing this ”any man's”
life. ”Say no to his self” is coupled with ”follow Me.” And the opposite is implied--if any man will not do as _I_ desire, he will continue to do as he is now doing, namely, deny Me and follow his self.
These two persons self and Jesus are placed here in sharpest contrast.
An uncompromising antagonism exists between them. They are sworn foes, and every man must decide to which he will yield his allegiance. To agree with either one is to oppose the other one. For a man to settle some matter that comes up for decision by saying ”yes” to the desires or demands of his self involves his saying ”no” to Jesus. And on the other hand his yielding a.s.sent to the plans and wishes of this ”me,” namely Jesus, is plainly equivalent to saying ”no” to his self.
What is this self in each of us that Jesus sets in such antagonism to Himself, and instructs us to say a hard, uncompromising, unceasing ”no”
to? There are a few words in common use that give some suggestion of its character. There is the word selfish, that is, being absorbed in one's own self; in getting every stream to flow by his own door. That is commonly regarded, even in absolutely worldly circles, as a detestable trait. Its opposite, self-forgetful, being full of forgetting one's self in thinking of others, is as commonly regarded in all circles as a charming, winsome trait of character. The words self-centered, and self-willed, are as familiar and suggestive.
The fact is, there is an individual living inside each one of us whom Jesus refers to, by this word ”his self.” This individual takes on the degree of intensity and other local coloring of the person it inhabits.
It may be polished, scholarly, cultured; or, coa.r.s.e, ignorant and ill-mannered. But ”scratch a Russian and you find a Tartar.” Scratch through the veneering here and, whether coa.r.s.e or highly polished, you will find the same individual--self.
There are some quite marked characteristics by which its presence may be recognized. They may not all be noticeable together in any one person.
But one or more will be found in every person whom it succeeds in influencing and dominating. One characteristic is this: _it covets praise_. It feeds and fattens on commendation. It constantly seeks to be highly esteemed, to have its worth properly appraised. It is immensely impressed with its own importance, its value to society, its keenness, wisdom or aptness, and wishes others to be so impressed also.
It is fond of a mirror, especially one made to magnify. It seeks recognition. It presses forward, rudely or politely, according as its habitat has been trained in rude or polite circles. It may put on the garb of humility, and use the language of depreciation. But its ear is none the less keenly alert to hear the agreeable things and to cherish them.
Another characteristic, which really is simply the other side of this first named one, is this: _it shrinks from criticism_. How it writhes and twists at the least touch of unfavorable criticism! It is always on the defensive. The cheek colors at the suggestion of its being wrong, or having blundered, or of being peculiar.
How quickly it explains and defends and brings evidence of its being in the right. It is extremely sensitive. ”It is that _touchy_ thing in you.” It is chronically troubled with ”the disease of _touchiness_.” Its feelings are readily hurt. It is easily slighted. It remembers grievances. It has an interrogation point constantly on sentinel duty, namely, What will _they_ think? What will _they_ say? It lives in constant fear, under the lash of that huge, vague, awful _they_.
I remember knowing a Sunday school teacher who had a mission cla.s.s of rather rough boys from non-christian homes. I asked one day how she was getting along with them. ”Going to give them up,” she replied. ”Is that so? They have all become christians?” No, none of them were christians, and they liked her, and said they would not come if she gave them up, but she felt discouraged, and anyway she had decided to give them up.
Lawyers and women do not always give their reasons, very wisely. I ventured to suggest that before giving them up, she have the boys come up to her home, one at a time, perhaps for tea; have a pleasant chatty time at tea and afterwards, and then before the boy left have a quiet friendly talk with him by himself about being a christian, and, a few words of prayer with him. Wouldn't she try that before giving them up?
And I remember distinctly that her face blushed as red as a bright red rose, as she replied, ”Why, Mr. Gordon, _he'd laugh at me_!” And she could not bear the possible chance of being laughed at for the other more likely possibility of winning a soul--a man--a life. That was ”self” in her, shrinking back from a laugh; dreading that look of possibly contemptuous surprise that _might_ come.
Another person, speaking about certain recreations very common in society, and which he was in the habit of joining, though freely questioning the propriety of so doing, said, ”O, I don't care much for those things. I could easily give them up, but people think you are so queer if you decline, and you feel as if you were a back number.” Ah!
there was the rub. The desire to be thought well of; the dislike of being considered peculiar; the fear of that thinly veiled sneering curl on the lip--that was _self_ in him a.s.serting its presence, and even more, ruling his action. Do you recognize the individual inside of you that Jesus is speaking of?
There is a third tell-tale ear-mark of self that is difficult to conceal--_it is a.s.sertive_. It dearly loves to have its own way. It has plans and ambitions, and proposes to carry them through regardless of man, or--let the plain truth be spoken softly--of G.o.d. Its opinions are held tenaciously. Its favorite p.r.o.noun is I, capitalized, with variations of my and me. The personal equation is extremely powerful and persuasive.
The true follower of Jesus holds every plan subject to change from above. But this self, if allowed to rule, takes the bit in its tightly-shut teeth, and drives determinedly ahead, reckless of either man's or G.o.d's preferences, even though religious phraseology may be upon its tongue.
Still another trait of character of this self whose closer acquaintance we are making is this: _It has an insatiable appet.i.te_. It grows hungrier by that on which it feeds. Its capacity is beyond the measuring line. If given free rein it will debase the holiest functions of the body, and degrade the highest powers of the mind to appease its gnawing, pa.s.sion-bitten hunger. The n.o.blest gifts, the purest emotions, the most sacred relations.h.i.+ps, are dragged down to the slimy gutter to tempt and temporarily stay its jaded palate.
Unmasked.
_That_ is something of a suggestion of the character of this other master than Jesus, who seeks to get control of us, and from whose relentless, vise-like grip Jesus would fain free us. He says there is only one thing to do with it. No half-way compromise--the great American expedient--will do here. The Master says plainly it is to be denied, repressed, put determinedly down, starved, strangled. To every suggestion or demand there is to be a prompt, positive, jaw-locked no.
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