Part 51 (2/2)
”I know, I know,” she breathed. ”Do you think I don't realize it, Antony? Do you think I don't adore you for it? Why, it is part of what makes me love you.”
”That is all,” he said. ”I could no more emanc.i.p.ate myself from my work than I can from my ideals; they are part of me. I am perfectly poor.”
”Oh!” she exclaimed, softly, ”don't, don't speak of that.”
He turned his fine eyes on her with a light in them whose courage and beauty she did not understand.
”Why not speak of it?” he asked quietly. ”I am not ashamed of the fact that I have no money. Such as money is, I shall make it some day, and I shall not value it then any more than I do now. It is necessary, I begin to see, but only that. Its only importance is the importance we give to it: to keep straight with our kind; to justify our existence, and,” he continued, ”to help the next man.”
His face took a firmer expression. More than in his recitation of his life he seemed to forget her. As he said so, his arms fell a little way away from her--she grew cold--he seemed a stranger. Only for a moment, however, for he turned, put out his arms, and drew her to him. He kissed her as he had not kissed her yet, and after a few moments said--
”Mary, I bring you my talent, and my manhood, and my courage--nothing else--and I want it to be enough for you.”
She said that it was. That it was more than enough.
Fairfax sighed, his arms dropped, he smiled and looked at her, and said--
”I wonder if it is?” He glanced round the room quietly, with an arrogance of which he was unconscious. ”You must give all this up, Mary.”
”Must I?” She flushed and laughed. ”You mean to say you want me to come to Bohemia?”
”I want you to live as I can live,” he said, ”share what I must have ...
that is, I should ask you that if you married me now ...”
He watched her face. It was still illuminated. Her love for him was too vital to be touched by this proposition which she did not wholly understand.
”Most men shrink,” Fairfax said, ”from taking the woman they love from her luxuries. I believe that I shall not be poor very long. It will be a struggle. If you marry me now, you will share it with me, otherwise ...”
He waited a moment.
And she repeated: ”Otherwise, Antony?”
”I shall go away,” he answered, ”and not come back again until I am rich and great.”
CHAPTER XVII
After he had left her he was dazed and incredulous. His egoism, his enthusiasm, his idea of his own self-sufficiency seemed preposterous. A man in love should entertain no idea but the thought of the woman herself. He began to chafe at poverty which he had a.s.sured her made no difference to him. Did he wish to live again terrible years of sacrifice and sordidness? If so, he could not hope a woman accustomed to luxury would choose to share his struggle. He was absurd.
”Money,” Dearborn said, regarding his shabby cuffs, ”opens many doors. I am inclined also to think that it shuts many doors. You remember the Kingdom of Heaven and the needle's eye; but,” he continued whimsically, ”I should not think of comparing Mrs. Faversham to a camel, Tony!”
”Don't be an a.s.s,” said Antony, proudly. ”Mrs. Faversham and I feel alike about it. Money will play no part in our mutual future.” And, as he said this, was sure neither of her nor of himself.
”Under which circ.u.mstances,” said his companion, ”I shall offer you another cup of coffee and tell you my secret. Going with my play to London is not the only one. I am in love. When you have drunk your coffee we'll go home. Potowski is going to play for us, and he is going to bring his wife at last.”
The two friends sat that evening in a corner of a cafe on the Boulevard Montparna.s.se. There were Bohemians around them at their table, and they themselves were part of that happy, struggling world. Dearborn dropped his voice, and said softly to Fairfax--
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