Chapter 153 - Lus Connection to ---- (1/2)

Xiong Zhi slowly put down her hand.

She knows the feeling of wanting to get strong. Of wanting to take over your own fears. Of wanting to face them without shaking. If she, who was a 20+ woman in inside shook fear when faced with that beast, what's more of a young boy who experienced fear throughout his whole life?

It would be really hard to overcome this trauma and scars that were left on him. Now Xiong Zhi could not blame Lu Yin Ze anymore for taking his life in the past.

”Then grow strong. I'll keep you company.” Xiong Zhi took a step back but she was held by Lu Yin Ze. His hand captured hers. His hand was cold too. Xiong Zhi was surprised by the sudden touch that she flinched and shook it off.

Lu Yin Ze did not let go. His attention was not in her hands. It was on the family picture in front of him.

Xiong Zhi stops struggling and looked at the tall frame of Lu Yin Ze. Then she looked at their hands. Lu Yin Ze was gripping her hand tightly. But since his hand was soft, it was not hurting her. However, Xiong Zhi was uncomfortable. She felt like she had to keep her distance because it doesn't feel right.

But Lu Yin Ze unconsciously gripped her hand tighter. Lu Yin Ze was now in a daze. He seemed to enter a different world. Maybe he falls into half an unconscious state. Living in the memories in his mind while his body was standing.

But he could still speak and knew what's was real and what was an illusion.

”Would you stay for me for a bit? I can't face them alone by myself. Please. Help me this once, Xiong Zhi.” Lu Yin Ze's pleading voice echoed to her ears. Lu Yin Ze was still facing the picture. Through their hands, Xiong Zhi could feel the slight tremble of his body. He was cold. But she knew he was trying to be calm. To take control of his emotion and mind.

”I'll stay. Take your time.” Xiong Zhi finally said. She was only letting her borrow her hand and presence. That's all. If ever, she would need to avoid being this intimate to him in the future.

It was a long silence. Xiong Zhi felt that Lu Yin Ze finally calmed down. He was not shivering anymore. His eyes were becoming clearer as he stared at the picture.

He finally let go of her hands.

”I'll try to visit this place every night. So I could get used to it.” Lu Yin Ze speaks out loud. However, he was more telling it to his self.

Xiong Zhi did not speak and just stayed there.

”Do you know why I want to tell the world the things they have done? ” Xiong Zhi did not answer.

”You might be thinking because I want justice and revenge. That's true. But there's a reason I don't want to admit. ”

Lu Yin Ze was kept starting at the picture.

In most of his life, the only feelings he had were hate and resentment. It grew and grown to the point of suffocating him. All he wanted to do was to get back to his father whom he hates so much and to his older brother, whom he was so disgusted about.

Those feelings and thoughts were the only things that kept him alive and continue living.

Revenge. And Justice.

Fear. Hate. Resentment.

Those were strong feelings that clouded a person's mind. Lu Yin Ze who was a child back then was no different from those people who went crazy without someone's support. Until a person became helpless as time passed by and resolved everything to death. It might be the only way for them to have a final rest.

But after he was freed to that prison, after he got away from the people whom he resented so much. After he went to school and made friends. Then spent peaceful and contented days. And finally seeing this picture after a long time, Lu Yin Ze's mind became clearer.

He sorted out his thoughts, his feelings, and his dreams.

Lu Yin Ze's eyes were never leaving the picture above.

Those happy days when he was young came back. The wish of his dear mother, and his wish.

And the people he once loved.

Thinking of those, made Lu Yin Ze's sight blurry.

”I want to get my big brother back. I want that man to call him again father.” Those words were hard to speak. Lu Yin Ze could even taste those bitter words. Those words that were lingering in his mouth tasted salt like his tears.

He finally said it. He finally admitted it. He finally saw the things that were really inside his heart.

That even he hated them, afraid of them, he loved them.