Part 54 (1/2)

-C'est tout egal; replied the commissary-

-The devil it is! said I-but I will go to ten thousand Bastiles first-

O England! England! thou land of liberty, and climate of good sense, thou tenderest of mothers-and gentlest of nurses, cried I, kneeling upon one knee, as I was beginning my apostrophe.

When the director of Madam Le Blanc's conscience coming in at that instant, and seeing a person in black, with a face as pale as ashes, at his devotions-looking still paler by the contrast and distress of his drapery-ask'd, if I stood in want of the aids of the church-

I go by Water-said I-and here's another will be for making me pay for going by Oil.

Chapter 4.XVI.

As I perceived the commissary of the post-office would have his six livres four sous, I had nothing else for it, but to say some smart thing upon the occasion, worth the money:

And so I set off thus:-

-And pray, Mr. Commissary, by what law of courtesy is a defenceless stranger to be used just the reverse from what you use a Frenchman in this matter?

By no means; said he.

Excuse me; said I-for you have begun, Sir, with first tearing off my breeches-and now you want my pocket-

Whereas-had you first taken my pocket, as you do with your own people-and then left me bare a..'d after-I had been a beast to have complain'd-

As it is-

-'Tis contrary to the law of nature.

-'Tis contrary to reason.

-'Tis contrary to the Gospel.

But not to this-said he-putting a printed paper into my hand,

Par le Roy.

-'Tis a pithy prolegomenon, quoth I-and so read on....

-By all which it appears, quoth I, having read it over, a little too rapidly, that if a man sets out in a post-chaise from Paris-he must go on travelling in one, all the days of his life-or pay for it.-Excuse me, said the commissary, the spirit of the ordinance is this-That if you set out with an intention of running post from Paris to Avignon, &c. you shall not change that intention or mode of travelling, without first satisfying the fermiers for two posts further than the place you repent at-and 'tis founded, continued he, upon this, that the Revenues are not to fall short through your fickleness-

-O by heavens! cried I-if fickleness is taxable in France-we have nothing to do but to make the best peace with you we can-