Part 48 (1/2)

A French postilion has always to alight before he has got three hundred yards out of town.

What's wrong now?-Diable!-a rope's broke!-a knot has slipt!-a staple's drawn!-a bolt's to whittle!-a tag, a rag, a jag, a strap, a buckle, or a buckle's tongue, want altering.

Now true as all this is, I never think myself impowered to excommunicate thereupon either the post-chaise, or its driver-nor do I take it into my head to swear by the living G.., I would rather go a-foot ten thousand times-or that I will be d.a.m.n'd, if ever I get into another-but I take the matter coolly before me, and consider, that some tag, or rag, or jag, or bolt, or buckle, or buckle's tongue, will ever be a wanting or want altering, travel where I will-so I never chaff, but take the good and the bad as they fall in my road, and get on:-Do so, my lad! said I; he had lost five minutes already, in alighting in order to get at a luncheon of black bread, which he had cramm'd into the chaise-pocket, and was remounted, and going leisurely on, to relish it the better.-Get on, my lad, said I, briskly-but in the most persuasive tone imaginable, for I jingled a four-and-twenty sous piece against the gla.s.s, taking care to hold the flat side towards him, as he look'd back: the dog grinn'd intelligence from his right ear to his left, and behind his sooty muzzle discovered such a pearly row of teeth, that Sovereignty would have p.a.w.n'd her jewels for them.

Just heaven! What masticators!-/What bread-!

and so as he finished the last mouthful of it, we entered the town of Montreuil.

Chapter 3.XCII.

There is not a town in all France which, in my opinion, looks better in the map, than Montreuil;-I own, it does not look so well in the book of post-roads; but when you come to see it-to be sure it looks most pitifully.

There is one thing, however, in it at present very handsome; and that is, the inn-keeper's daughter: She has been eighteen months at Amiens, and six at Paris, in going through her cla.s.ses; so knits, and sews, and dances, and does the little coquetries very well.-

-A s.l.u.t! in running them over within these five minutes that I have stood looking at her, she has let fall at least a dozen loops in a white thread stocking-yes, yes-I see, you cunning gipsy!-'tis long and taper-you need not pin it to your knee-and that 'tis your own-and fits you exactly.-

-That Nature should have told this creature a word about a statue's thumb!

-But as this sample is worth all their thumbs-besides, I have her thumbs and fingers in at the bargain, if they can be any guide to me,-and as Janatone withal (for that is her name) stands so well for a drawing-may I never draw more, or rather may I draw like a draught-horse, by main strength all the days of my life,-if I do not draw her in all her proportions, and with as determined a pencil, as if I had her in the wettest drapery.-

-But your wors.h.i.+ps chuse rather that I give you the length, breadth, and perpendicular height of the great parish-church, or drawing of the facade of the abbey of Saint Austreberte which has been transported from Artois. .h.i.ther-every thing is just I suppose as the masons and carpenters left them,-and if the belief in Christ continues so long, will be so these fifty years to come-so your wors.h.i.+ps and reverences may all measure them at your leisures-but he who measures thee, Janatone, must do it now-thou carriest the principles of change within thy frame; and considering the chances of a transitory life, I would not answer for thee a moment; ere twice twelve months are pa.s.sed and gone, thou mayest grow out like a pumpkin, and lose thy shapes-or thou mayest go off like a flower, and lose thy beauty-nay, thou mayest go off like a hussy-and lose thyself.-I would not answer for my aunt Dinah, was she alive-'faith, scarce for her picture-were it but painted by Reynolds-

But if I go on with my drawing, after naming that son of Apollo, I'll be shot-

So you must e'en be content with the original; which, if the evening is fine in pa.s.sing thro' Montreuil, you will see at your chaise-door, as you change horses: but unless you have as bad a reason for haste as I have-you had better stop:-She has a little of the devote: but that, sir, is a terce to a nine in your favour- -L... help me! I could not count a single point: so had been piqued and repiqued, and capotted to the devil.

Chapter 3.XCIII.

All which being considered, and that Death moreover might be much nearer me than I imagined-I wish I was at Abbeville, quoth I, were it only to see how they card and spin-so off we set.

(Vid. Book of French post-roads, page 36. edition of 1762.) de Montreuil a Nampont- poste et demi de Nampont a Bernay -- poste de Bernay a Nouvion -- poste de Nouvion a Abbeville poste -but the carders and spinners were all gone to bed.

Chapter 3.XCIV.

What a vast advantage is travelling! only it heats one; but there is a remedy for that, which you may pick out of the next chapter.