Volume I Part 36 (1/2)
”They who speak of religious consolation in great calamity often forget that these consolations only appeal to those whose lives have been invariably directed by a religious standard, and that worldly-minded men like myself can no more obtain the benefit of these remedies than they could of any internal medicament which required a course of long persistence. I say this to show that while not insensible to the truthfulness of these counsels, yet that personally they do not apply.
”It is now left me to labour on with broken spirits and a faded heart.
To try and cheat the weariness of others I must strain head and nerves, and stifle true feeling to portray its mockery.
”I suppose I only re-echo what thousands have said, that I wish from my heart the race was run, and that I could lie down beside my poor Charley.”
_To Mr John Blackwood._
”Casa Capponi, Florence, _Oct_. 20, 1863.
”It was very neglectful of me not to acknowledge your cheque. It was the more so, since I had not any other money in my possession.
”My wife is a little better. She thanks you deeply and gratefully for your words of kindness and sympathy to us both.
”I have not been able to work yet, but in a day or two I'll try. The poor fisherman in 'The Antiquary' cobbled at the boat of his drowned son the day after,--but it's harder to task the head when the heart is so heavy.
”It is very kind of you to tell me good tidings of my story. Believe me, I am far more anxious for you than for myself.”
_To Dr Burbidge._
”Wednesday, _Oct_. 21,1863.
”I only send you so much of my proof as will make the eighth part in publication (_la suite en prochain numero_). I detained it to make certain corrections, by which you will see I am less an a.s.s than a first reading might have persuaded you to believe.
”Blackwood writes to me very favourably; he holds much to the secrecy as to the authors.h.i.+p, and has not even told Aytoun, his most intimate friend.
”With all the _bonne volonte_ in the world, I cannot work. I can no more do it than I could walk with a broken leg. It is not that the thing is difficult, it is impossible.
”I am right well pleased with our success at Church matters--that is, that we have done all that so narrow an atmosphere admits of, and will conquer fresh worlds when they are discovered.
”Are there any English s.h.i.+ps in the Gulf? or is there anything consular asked for or wished for?”
_To Mr John Blackwood._
”Casa Capponi, Florence, _Nov_. 7, 1863.
”'Tony' looks better in Magazine than in proof. I hope your readers like it, and sincerely more on your account than on my own.
”I write now to ask would you like a paper on Turkey, on which Bulwer has been cramming me, but of which _I myself_ know nothing? First of all, are you Turk or anti-Turk in Magazine? for B. is outrageously Moslem, and, of course, so will be his article.
”From what I hear from him, the subject might be treated popularly and readably.
”What clever papers those are in this month's Magazine, Hawthorne and the Americans! They are wonderfully well written, and I am amazed at the good temper of the first, for the theme was a very strong temptation for sharp reprisals.