Part 20 (1/2)
”I didn't mean for you to leave-” I started.
She smiled again. ”I know. But you need this time together. G.o.d knows you won't have a moment's peace once you move in with us.” She stopped as the door opened again and my mother came in, a basket full of fruit, bread, and cheese in hand. She held it up as she spoke.
”Another delivery. From your friend Garret. He's waiting at the nurses' desk.” She set it on the table, then gave me a meaningful glance.
I looked at Nova, genuinely surprised. ”Did you know he was coming?”
She smiled. ”I thought he might show up.”
Panic fluttered in my belly. ”Well, he can wait. I'm busy.”
Mom bent down to caress her grandchild's downy head. ”And how's Grandma's sweetie doing? You're a hungry b.u.g.g.e.r, aren't you?” Nova moved to the window seat that doubled as an extra bed, and Mom sat down in the chair next to me. ”Have you thought of a name for her yet?”
”I was thinking maybe Kyah.”
Nova tilted her head thoughtfully. ”What does it mean?”
”Forgiveness,” I said, and my mother's eyes glossed with tears.
Jenny groaned a bit from her bed, her eyes fluttering open at the sound of our voices. She blinked laboriously, glancing around until her gaze rested on my face.
”What do you think, Jen? Is our daughter's name Kyah?” I interpreted a wide, wet smile as her blessing before she drifted back to sleep.
”Okay, this is killing me,” Nova said. ”Can I tell Garret to come in?”
I softly fingered the pulsing spot on the top of Kyah's head. ”Do you know what he wants?”
”Well, duh. He wants to see you. And the baby.”
”Is Jackie with him?” I held my breath, waiting for her to answer.
”Jackie's gone.”
I looked up to witness her smug grin. My heart banged a fearful rhythm behind my ribs, still unsure of what he might want. Knowing me well enough to take my silence as a.s.sent, both Nova and Mom left the room. Kyah had fallen asleep, her blue eyes closed, her tiny mouth open. I continued to rock, breathing deeply. A moment later, Garret appeared. He had dressed casually, jeans and black T-s.h.i.+rt; his hair hung messily around his handsome face. He entered without a word, his soft brown eyes reflecting a trace of the same hesitance I felt.
”Where's Lucy?” I asked politely.
”With Nova's parents. She's very excited to see the baby, but I told her she'd have to wait for the next visit.” So there'd be another visit? I pondered. What did that mean? Did he want to give us another try? Or did he just want to be friends?
Garret stayed by the door, stepping uncomfortably from foot to foot. He waited for a moment before bobbing his dark head toward Kyah. ”She doing well?”
I nodded. ”Perfect.”
”How about Jenny?” He kept his voice low as he glanced at my sister's peacefully sleeping form.
”Her, too.”
”I'm glad.” He took in a deep breath, his hands linked behind his back, pausing a bit before speaking. ”What's her name?” We were keeping the conversation safe; I felt the pressure of what we needed to talk about hanging over me.
”Kyah,” I told him, searching his face for what he might be feeling, the reason he had come. We were quiet for a moment, not looking at each other. I finally broke the silence, again choosing a safe topic. ”Thanks for the basket. It's lovely.”
”My pleasure.” He looked down, fiddling with the fold of his jeans.
”Do you want to sit down?” I offered. He nodded his dark head and moved to the window seat, lowering himself slowly, then turning his gaze to me.
I s.h.i.+fted Kyah over my shoulder, one hand resting softly on her fragile spine, feeling her little body expand and contract with each new breath she took. The thought of the tense first weeks I'd spent not talking with my mother about what truly needed to be talked about convinced me it was time to jump into the thick of things. No time like the present to get to the truth. ”So,” I said, ”Nova tells me Jackie's gone.”
He nodded. ”She left a few days ago, actually.”
”She stayed with you the whole time?” I tried to keep my words light, uninterested.
He paused, then nodded again. ”Lucy wanted as much time with her mom as possible, so ... ”
”That was big of you.”
He blinked at this comment, apparently offended. It seemed too complicated to try to explain that I'd meant it as a compliment. We sat in silence for several minutes, the only sounds in the room our breath and the quiet whir of the hospital machines. ”Well,” Garret finally said, referring again to his ex-wife, ”we had a few things to work out. She wants to see Lucy more often.”
”That's why she came?”
”Did you think she was here for some other reason?”
”Of course,” I told him, my words firm but quiet, so as not to disturb Jenny or the baby. ”You told me she called you that night at the restaurant.... ” I trailed off, my face flus.h.i.+ng at the memory of our kiss. His gaze was intent on me as I continued, driven by the anger that had been stewing in me for weeks. ”Then suddenly she shows up after you had the gall to act offended by Shane's being at the party-”
”Wait a minute, now,” Garret interrupted.
”You knew she was coming when you kissed me,” I said before he could finish. ”You had a few unresolved issues of your own.”
He stared at me, his arms outstretched and hands cupping his knees, obviously contemplating what to say next. After a moment, he spoke. ”You're right.”
I squinted at him, unsure what I'd heard. ”Excuse me?”
He shrugged, leaned forward to place his elbows on his knees, and laced his fingers together loosely. ”I said, you're right. I knew she was coming to figure out her visits with Lucy. But as far as Jackie and I are concerned ... ” He paused. ”Well, there isn't a 'Jackie and me.'”
My heart felt suddenly lighter in my chest, hope rising like a balloon inside me. ”There isn't a Shane and me, either,” I told him. ”I ended things the day after the party.”