Chapter 576 - There’s Actually Such A Person In This World (1/2)

Translator: Nyoi-Bo Studio  Editor: Nyoi-Bo Studio

“It’s me. I’m the one who caused their death.”

The room fell into an eerie silence after he said that.

Su Qingsang looked at Huo Jinyao. She could not believe it. There was actually such a person in this world?

He thought that he caused the death of his elder brother and younger sister, so he did not explain himself, even though he knew that his mother had misunderstood him, in order to be punished for something that was beyond his control.

He had endured that misunderstanding all this time and suffered alone for so many years. How much pain had he been in his whole life?

Su Qingsang felt a sharp pain in her chest and her heart ached for him. This visceral pain made her realize after he finished telling his story that she had been crying and that her face was streaked with tears.

People always lived hoping that miracles would happen in their lives, but for most people most of the time, there was simply no such thing in this world.

The death of Huo Jinkai and Huo Wushuang was regrettably painful. The kidnapping incident alone took place when it shouldn’t have happened in the first place, and it was already a tragedy.

No matter how remorseful, upset, and anguished Huo Jinyao had been about his role in their deaths, there was no way to bring his siblings back to life.

He had been unable to let go of his own incompetence and could not forgive his twelve-year-old self for making this daring and impulsive decision.

So, he had tortured himself for the past ten to twenty years.

Wasn’t his suffering in silence just one more tragedy?

Huo Jinyao did not notice that Su Qingsang was crying at first; he had been too caught up in his memories.

To be honest, he rarely recalled the past—almost never. In fact, he had hoped that he would lose all his memories and forget all about those three days he was kidnapped if it was possible.

To him, those three days were the darkest moments of his life.

The torment he suffered and the agony he went through were like nightmares that he could not forget no matter what the rest of his life was like.

Su Qingsang’s face was stained with tears, and her vision of Huo Jinyao became blurred as she cried without making a sound.

She moved her lips as if she wanted to say something, but it was like there was a lump in her throat, and she couldn’t say a single word.

In the end, she hugged Huo Jinyao tightly, with all her strength.

Huo Jinyao stayed still. He was rather tense.

He was completely caught up in the emotions that the memories of the kidnapping had brought back.

For so many years, he had blamed himself and felt guilty alone. There had been no one he could talk to about these feelings.

There was no one who would understand the depth of his pain, not just of losing his family but of being the reason they were lost.

Who could he talk to? The people in the Huo Family?

They were just like him, suffering the pain of loss.

The other person who hurt the most because of this incident was Liu Tongjia.

She had lost two children in a day.

One was her elder son whom she was proud of.

And another was her youngest daughter whom she had always wanted and cherished dearly.

Huo Jinyao understood Liu Tongjia’s pain. So, he couldn’t defend himself even though he knew that Liu Tongjia had misunderstood him.

Huo Jinkai had stopped him that day and they had talked about it.

But he didn’t listen to his older brother and insisted on having it his way.

And it eventually led to such an outcome.

They could have just waited for three days. It would be alright if they just gotten through those three days.

But he couldn’t wait.

And so, his elder brother and younger sister failed to make it out alive.

Huo Jinyao did not cry. He hadn’t shed a single tear since he was twelve years old.

For a very long period of time, he had struggled to suppress his emotions and held himself back desperately.

He had gotten used to the disapproval and cold treatment he received from Liu Tongjia for the past years of his life.

There was even a period of time that he actually relished the treatment he felt he deserved from Liu Tongjia.

It helped to ease the burden of his guilt.

But he never thought that a day would come in which Liu Tongjia would sabotage his relationship with Su Qingsang just because she disliked him.

Tears were streaming down Su Qingsang’s face in torrents. They were indoors, so they were not wearing a lot.

She hugged him tightly again, and very quickly, her tears soaked through his shirt.

He lowered his head when he felt his chest become damp. The pain from the memories had made his eyes turn red.

He seemed to see Su Qingsang clearly only after he blinked a few times.

He reached out his hand and caressed her cheeks with slow and soothing movements.

“Why are you crying?”

Su Qingsang couldn’t speak. She could only hold onto him tightly and shake her head in despair.

So foolish. How could there exist such a foolish person?

“Don’t cry. I’m fine.”

He was already in pain and he had been hurting for a long time.

The regret he felt about the incident kept cutting into him, and his guilt haunted him.

He had no way of releasing his pain, no way to make amends, and that was why he would get nightmares occasionally.

“I’m really alright.”

Su Qingsang did not believe what he said.

If that was the case, he would not have been troubled with the nightmares for so many years.

He wouldn’t have called out for his mother when he was sick.

He was a grown man, but somehow his emotions had stayed trapped in the time when he was twelve years old.

Emotionally, he was still that young boy.

A helpless young boy who had been kidnapped and hurt beyond repair.

He longed for the love of his mother, her forgiveness, and care from his family.

In fact, Liu Tongjia and Huo Mingguang had owed him that much, for all the years that had passed.

How could Liu Tongjia do this to him?

How could she?

Huo Jinyao was clearly a victim as well, and he needed warm words and comfort from Liu Tongjia too. Huo Jinyao needed her as his mother to nurse him out of the pain he was suffering.

But what did Liu Tongjia do to him?

She suspected him. She blamed him.

And her hatred for him remained consistent for every single moment since then.

Su Qingsang was crying uncontrollably. Her heart ached so much that she couldn’t breathe.

She raised her head to look at Huo Jinyao, and she shook her head repeatedly when he insisted that he was alright.

“No, it’s not like that.”

Her voice was trembling and choked with tears.

She shook her head and hugged him tightly.

“No, that’s not it at all.”

It was not over, and he was not okay.

“How could she do that to you?”

“How could she?”

Su Qingsang kept repeating these words.

She wanted to say that Liu Tongjia was wrong, and she wanted to tell Liu Tongjia that she should make it up to Huo Jinyao.

But she couldn’t say it out loud and kept sniffling instead. Finally, she raised her head and saw the pained look on Huo Jinyao’s face.

“I… I’ll go and tell her.”

She let go of his hands, wanting to rush over immediately to Liu Tongjia’s room.

“I’ll go now.”

She had to make this clear to Liu Tongjia.

Liu Tongjia had already lost a son and a daughter.

Does she want to lose her remaining child as well?

It was the easiest thing in the world to hurt somebody’s feelings, but it was not an easy thing to recover after that.

Liu Tongjia had been wrong.

Since she had made a mistake, she should be the one to fix it.

Huo Jinyao grabbed her instinctively and pulled her back into his arms just as she was about to rush out of the room.

“Don’t go!”

“Huo Jinyao?”

“You don’t have to tell her.”

Huo Jinyao looked at her face. He lifted his hands and with his thumbs, wiped her tears away, bit by bit.

He wiped her face slowly, really slowly.

He looked at her until he had returned to his usual calm demeanor.

“There is no need to tell her about it.”

Huo Jinyao pursed his lips determinedly, and his handsome face showed indifference.

“It was difficult for her too.”

Liu Tongjia’s pain was no less than his. If anything, her pain was even more than his.

Throughout all these past years that the nightmares had tortured Huo Jinyao, they did the same to Liu Tongjia.

There was a period of time in which Liu Tongjia was unable to stop getting the nightmares, no matter what she tried to do.

She had insomnia each and every night, and she would wake up with a shock every time.

Huo Jinkai and Huo Wushuang were the children she gave birth to after ten months of pregnancy.

Her heart ached especially for Huo Wushuang.

The departure of her youngest daughter was the most agonizing tragedy of the entire Huo Family.

When Liu Tongjia misunderstood Huo Jinyao’s role in the deaths of her other children, she found a way to transfer her pain to someone else.

She got better, having someone else to blame, having someone to bear her pain, anger, and hatred of the loss—Huo Jinyao.

Huo Jinyao knew that. He knew all of that.

That was why he was unwilling to explain himself.

Just let it be.

If there must be someone, someone who had to take the blame and be responsible for the losses…

Then, it was better for him to be the one.

He owed that much to Liu Tongjia. He had to pay that much for his faults.

Huo Jinyao had wiped away all of Su Qingsang’s tears, but her eyes were still red.

She just stared at Huo Jinyao, her eyes wide and perplexed.

“Huo Jinyao?”

“I’m really alright.”

Who knew how many times Huo Jinyao had said that he was alright?

Even he knew that Su Qingsang was not going to believe it, even he knew it was just a lie he used to deceive himself and those around him.