Part 2 (1/2)

Jude

CHAPTER SEVEN.

He had reserved the entire restaurant for us. I was impressed and disappointed at the same time. Impressed that he had enough power and money to close a whole restaurant, and disappointed that it was just us. I missed people, missed being in a crowd. But I couldn't tell him that. At least I was out of the house.

He ordered food for both of us, which was just as well as I would never have been able to p.r.o.nounce most of the names of the fancy dishes. He also ordered a bottle of wine. Since I didn't drink alcohol and he drank only sparkling water, it remained untouched. We ate in silence. The only thing he asked me occasionally was whether I was comfortable and if I wanted anything more. I'd been in his house for almost a month, and this was our first meal together.

After a while I relaxed and allowed the soft music to wash over me, the low lighting to calm my nerves.

We were served a seven-course meal consisting of seafood swathed in herbs, succulent meats in juicy sauces, fresh salads, and mouth-watering desserts. My taste buds were still tingling as I reached for another white chocolate lemon truffle.

”Do you want more?” he asked, and I noticed he was no longer eating. He had leaned back in his seat, watching me from under his long lashes.

A blush crept over my cheeks as I reached for a napkin, dabbed my lips. ”No, I'm fine. Everything just tasted so good.” I giggled in spite of myself.

”No need to be embarra.s.sed.” He smiled. ”I wanted you to enjoy yourself. Mission accomplished?”

I smiled. ”Mission accomplished.”

”Good.” The smile disappeared from his lips and his eyes turned serious. ”I asked you to stay a month. Two weeks left. Are you ready?”

”Ready?”

”To get out there? Do you think you can manage on your own?”

I looked him straight in the eyes. ”Honestly, I don't know. But I'll give it my best shot.”

He nodded lightly. ”Don't go back to what you were before I met you. You deserve better.”

”Never.” My cheeks burned, and I averted my gaze.

”Don't,” he said softly. ”Don't do that.”

My eyes met his. ”Do what?”

”Don't be ashamed. You did what you had to do.” He tipped his head to the side. ”The dress looks great on you.”

I ran a hand along the lacey material of the dusky pink c.o.c.ktail dress. ”I'm so sorry. I forgot to thank you. How rude of me. It's the most beautiful dress I've ever worn.”

”I'm glad. Shall we go?” He waved for a waiter and three came scuttling over to fuss over us.

Jude took my arm and we walked out of the restaurant. Nolan was already waiting outside with the doors of the limousine open. Sitting inside it took my breath away for a second time. But it was Jude's presence that made me forget who I was, that gave me a chance to be someone I didn't think I deserved to be.

At home, Jude went to his office to catch up on work and I went straight to bed. But I didn't sleep, I couldn't. I thought about him, about the circ.u.mstances that had brought us together. Abandoning sleep altogether, I sat on the cus.h.i.+oned windowsill with my eyes closed, the gentle wind from the open window caressing my face and whispering in my ears. When thoughts of what I'd done slipped into my mind, I forced them out before they had the power to chip at my heart. I was so focused on blocking them out I almost didn't hear the soft knock on the door.

It was Jude. The suit jacket and tie were gone and his hair was slightly ruffled but still s.e.xy as h.e.l.l.

I pulled my satin night gown around me, and opened my mouth to speak but I had no idea what to say. So I waited, waited for him to tell me what he was doing at my door at 11 p.m. Sweat formed on my forehead.

He pinched the bridge of his nose. ”I shouldn't be here. I apologize for waking you. Goodnight, Haley.” He turned to leave.

I shook my head, confused. ”Why did you come?”

He turned around slowly and then he walked back to me, came so close his breath fanned my forehead, drying the sweat. For a moment I thought he was going to kiss me. He didn't. He just stood there, his eyes a.s.sessing me. ”I just felt the need to come and see you, to see if you're okay.” He shook his head. ”The truth is, I can't stop thinking about you, even when I'm away from you. I can't get you out of my mind. From the moment I saw you, I've felt drawn to you. I couldn't leave you. You were so scared. I wanted to protect you.” He inhaled, waited for me to digest the information, to respond.

His revelation messed with my already confused head. ”I...I don't know what to say.”

”Then, don't say anything.” He moved even closer, pressing his hard body against mine. He held my head between both his hands, warming my cheeks. ”You're broken, Haley. I can't help but fix you. Let me fix you.” He pressed his lips to mine.

First I froze, and then I melted to his touch, parted my lips, let him in, tasted him. I wanted to pull away, but currents of desire swept through me and weakened me. As if that was all the invitation he had needed, he swept me into his arms, and pushed the door wider. I wrapped my arms around his neck and surrendered completely to his kiss. Drowning had never felt more wonderful.

Even when he lowered me onto the bed, I felt like I was flying. I was present and at the same time I was somewhere else, somewhere where my problems were just a figment of my imagination.

He undressed me gently, kissed every inch of my body. When he finally slid into me, I was lost completely. Our bodies moved in rhythm, as if it weren't for the first time, as if we'd done this before. As we rose and fell together, I had only one wish. I wanted to stay lost forever. I never wanted to be found.

CHAPTER EIGHT.

It didn't stop at one night of pa.s.sion.

For one week Jude and I didn't leave the house. Sometimes he tried to leave for work but never managed to walk out the door. I thought I needed him, but he seemed to need me just as much. He gave Lin and the cleaners a few days off so we could be alone. Food from his favorite restaurants was delivered at the door and we fed it to each other.

When we were not making love, we watched movies and talked about mundane things. When he needed to work, he pulled out his thin laptop and worked in bed, with me lying next to him.

When I was with him it felt as if a part of me that had been missing for a long time had finally been found and pushed into place. Jude was a drug I couldn't get enough of. Every time he let me go, a hole formed inside my heart.

Sometimes I'd wake up and find him staring into my face in a way that left me breathless.

We didn't talk about anything that hurt. When I tried to bring up the fact that I would soon be moving on, he simply kissed my lips and said we should just live for the moment.

When the week came to a close, reality set in. Just one more week and I'd be gone. I'd read in the tabloids that even though many women jostled for position in his life, none of them ever stayed longer than a few weeks. The pain of knowing what we had would probably never last, was almost physical. There was no hope for us. The circ.u.mstances that brought us together would someday rip us apart.

He finally returned to the office and left me home to get used to my looming departure.

The night we didn't sleep in the same bed because he had to work late, the nightmares returned, reminding me I was fooling myself into thinking I could be happy after the sin I had committed. Drenched in sweat, I threw back the sheets and went to the bathroom. I wet a face towel with cold water, wrung it out and pressed it against my burning eyes. The tears were now flowing and I had no idea how to stop them. I was confused and torn.

I sat down on the lip of the bath and leaned forward until my forehead touched my knees. I stayed that way for a long time, forcing myself to breathe, trying to convince myself that I would be all right on my own. I was a survivor.