Part 3 (1/2)
Zach set down his fork. ”It must have been nice to have someone to talk to about that.” He sighed and then shrugged. ”I had to figure everything out on my own, and once I did, it meant leaving my family.”
”Where did you grow up?” Bull asked.
”Near Lancaster,” Zach said, and Bull's mouth fell open. ”I wasn't raised Amish, but my family is very conservative and religious. They would never understand.” Zach cleared his throat. ”They didn't understand, but they did their best. It was hard on all of us, especially coming from such a religiously based area where it seems everything is driven by what you and your neighbors believe.”
”Did your family kick you out?” Bull asked with concern.
Zach shook his head. ”Like I said, they tried to cope. But our neighbors didn't like it, and people at church looked at them suspiciously. So I stopped going to church, and eventually came here to go to school. I could still visit sometimes, but it was better for them if I was out of sight. After I graduated, I found a job and an apartment here.”
”Didn't you meet people in college?”
”Yeah, but most of them live here in town. I didn't have what most people had for a college experience. I met some people, but often they moved on, so it wasn't like I made friends I had all four years.”
”You were a loner, then?” Bull asked, and Zach nodded. Bull understood that. ”What about the guys at the club?”
Zach grinned and the sadness disappeared. ”I met them through Kevin, one of the guys I work with. He's really outgoing, and his circle of friends opened up to include me. They're a lot of fun.” Zach picked up his hamburger. ”I don't talk about myself very much. There's no need to bring everybody down.” He took a bite and set the burger back on the plate. ”I don't know why I'm telling you all this, except I feel like I can.”
”Sometimes it's easier to tell things to a stranger,” Bull said.
Zach nodded. ”Can I ask you something? What's your real name?”
”Marvin Krebbs,” Bull said. ”Can you believe it? My mother named me Marvin. I always knew the woman hated me, and it started on the day I was born.” Bull pushed the last bite of food onto his fork and stuffed it into his mouth. Then he sipped some of his coffee and sat back in the booth to relax. He was full and really satisfied. ”So I go by Bull, and before you ask, you can't call me Marvin, or worse, Marv. I've been Bull for over twenty years and I like it that way.”
Zach nodded, then blushed beet red and turned away.
”What?”
”I think Bull suits you. It's mysteriously s.e.xy.” Zach blushed harder, if that was possible. ”Sorry, that was... G.o.d, I'm usually not forward like that.”
”You didn't have a problem being forward at the club,” Bull said. Zach was adorably cute when he blushed.
”I was with the guys and I'd already had a beer or two before we got there.” Zach shrugged. ”Isn't letting go something you're supposed to do at a club? I was having fun, and I didn't expect to see any of those people again. Besides, you really were tickling me.”
Bull shook his head. He had nothing to say to that, and he figured he should be concentrating on the fact that Zach thought he was s.e.xy. Bull pulled his libido back before he got carried away. He was here to talk to Zach about his comic book and to tell him stories about the club and have lunch. This wasn't a date. Bull stifled a groan. Zach sat across from him smiling happily, they'd just eaten, and Zach had actually told him he thought Bull was s.e.xy. The only thing missing was a good-bye kiss. He signaled the server, and she brought the check. Bull reached for it before Zach could and handed her a twenty. There was enough for a tip, so he figured he could get up and leave anytime.
”What do you do when you aren't working at the club?” Zach inquired.
”Not much. I work when most people sleep, so I spend a lot of my days in bed. I used to play chess in a former life, but I haven't done that in years.”
d.a.m.ned if Zach didn't straighten right up. ”I love love chess. I used to play when I was in high school. We had a club, with all the nerdy kids, of course, and we used to meet once a week to challenge each other. I guess it was as close as I got to having friends for a while.” chess. I used to play when I was in high school. We had a club, with all the nerdy kids, of course, and we used to meet once a week to challenge each other. I guess it was as close as I got to having friends for a while.”
”I take it you weren't one of the popular kids?”
”Never was. I was too uptight, I guess. I mean, I knew I was different, but I didn't figure the whole thing out until-” Zach scratched his chin. ”Well, I didn't actually admit the truth to myself until I was a senior in high school, but I knew and stayed away from most people in case they figured things out.”
Bull understood that feeling really well. He supposed most gay kids did. At least he'd had Harry and they'd been able to go through all that stuff together. Bull was about to stand up when his phone rang. He pulled it out of his pocket and groaned. Zach tilted his head slightly. ”It's my mother,” Bull said with a roll of his eyes. Against his better judgment, he answered it, figuring he had a good excuse to keep the call short and hopefully away from her usual subject. ”h.e.l.lo,” he said.
”Hi, Marvin, it's your mother,” she said. Of course it was, because for one thing no one else ever called him Marvin.
”Hi, Mom, what do you need?” he said. She only ever called when she wanted something.
”Is that any way to greet your mother?” she asked snippily. Bull knew almost immediately that he'd hit the nail on the head. ”Can't I call just to say h.e.l.lo to my son?” Her tone softened instantly. ”I haven't seen you in months. I was thinking of coming up for a visit.”
Those few words sent ice running through Bull's veins, and he s.h.i.+vered in the stuffy diner. ”You know I don't have a lot of time right now. I spend my evenings and nights at the club. During the day I sleep, so I wouldn't have a lot of time to spend with you.”
”I could go to the club when you do,” she said brightly. ”It would be fun to dance with all those handsome guys.” Somehow he doubted the fun would last very long for her. The guys would indeed dance with her, but she'd find out very quickly that they weren't going to give her what she really wanted.
”Mom, now really isn't a good time for a visit. In a few months when I can plan things, I'll take some time away and come down to see you.” Bull swallowed hard and f.u.c.k-all if his leg didn't shake slightly. ”I'm at lunch with a friend.” He glanced at Zach and smiled, receiving one in return that sent his pulse racing. ”He's an artist and I'm helping him with a project.” He desperately wanted to get her off the phone. ”Can I call you later?”
”Honey, I just want to see you and I won't be any trouble,” she said, but Bull remembered the last time she came for a visit and knew that was a lie.
”Mom, what's going on?” Bull asked.
”Nothing. Is it so bad that I want to spend some time with my son?” she asked, applying a liberal coating of guilt.
”No, but you never visit or call unless something has happened or you want something,” Bull said forcefully. ”I know that and so do you. So please just tell me what's happened and what it is you want.”
”I'm your mother,” she gasped in what Bull knew was mock horror. He had the world's most unmaternal mother.
”I know,” he said, his resolve beginning to waver. ”But I still know you.”
”Your stepfather left me,” she said flatly. Bull looked up at the ceiling and rolled his eyes to heaven.
”Is this my fifth stepfather or my sixth? I can't remember,” Bull sniped. He'd only met Jerry once, but he seemed like a good enough guy for someone a year younger than Bull. ”Look, I have to go. I'll call you later.”
”Wait. I need some money,” she said before he could hang up.
”Sorry, Mom,” he said. ”I told you the last time that was it. You need to go out and get a job. I can't continue to support you between stepfathers.” Bull actually grinned at that remark.
”But....”
”We've already talked about this,” Bull said evenly, keeping his anger in check. It would have been one thing if she were retired and living on a fixed income. He could see helping her then, but his mother was in her midfifties and she didn't want to work. ”I gotta go,” he added hurriedly. Then he said good-bye and hung up.
”Your mother,” Zach said.
Bull nodded and took a deep breath. ”Yeah, she wants money, as usual.” He sighed. ”She's also decided she wants to come for a visit.”
”That's great,” Zach said. ”Isn't it?”
Bull shook his head. ”I wish it were.” Bull slid out of the booth and stood up, waiting for Zach to gather his things.
”Thank you for lunch and the stories. I really appreciate it,” Zach told him quickly, as if the light had gone out of their conversation. Bull knew it was his fault. His mother could suck the brightness and fun out of any room, at least the ones he was in.
”You're welcome,” Bull told him, forcing a smile. ”I'm glad I could help, and your drawings are really great. I'm sure that once you get the book done, it will be a big success.” They walked toward the door, where Bull waited so Zach could go first.
They stepped out onto the sidewalk and into the glorious summer suns.h.i.+ne and warmth. ”Thanks again,” Zach said, standing still for a few seconds, staring at him. Zach then held his sketchpads a little tighter to his chest, almost like they were a s.h.i.+eld, before turning and walking away. Bull watched him go and then headed the other way. He'd only gone half a block before he stopped and swore under his breath. He was a complete idiot, and it served him right that he was going to spend another day off alone. Zach probably had plans, but.... Bull checked his watch. They'd spent well over an hour together and it had felt like only a few minutes. It was too late to do anything about it now, though, so he headed toward his car.