Part 18 (1/2)

I tried to look as though I could be, but in her case would not.

She let her ungloved hand rest for an instant upon mine. Had she left it there for two, I should have gone down on my knees before her, or have stood on my head at her feet--have made a fool of myself in some way or another before the whole room full. She timed it to a nicety.

”I don't want _you_ to pay me compliments,” she said, ”I want us to be friends. Of course, in years, I'm old enough to be your mother.” (By the register I should say she might have been thirty-two, but looked twenty-six. I was twenty-three, and I fear foolish for my age.) ”But you know the world, and you're so different to the other people one meets. Society is so hollow and artificial; don't you find it so? You don't know how I long sometimes to get away from it, to know someone to whom I could show my real self, who would understand me. You'll come and see me sometimes--I'm always at home on Wednesdays--and let me talk to you, won't you, and you must tell me all your clever thoughts.”

It occurred to me that, maybe, she would like to hear a few of them there and then, but before I had got well started a hollow Society man came up and suggested supper, and she was compelled to leave me. As she disappeared, however, in the throng, she looked back over her shoulder with a glance half pathetic, half comic, that I understood. It said, ”Pity me, I've got to be bored by this vapid, shallow creature,” and I did.

I sought her through all the rooms before I went. I wished to a.s.sure her of my sympathy and support. I learned, however, from the butler that she had left early, in company with the hollow Society man.

A fortnight later I ran against a young literary friend in Regent Street, and we lunched together at the Monico.

”I met such a charming woman last night,” he said, ”a Mrs. Clifton Courtenay, a delightful woman.”

”Oh, do _you_ know her?” I exclaimed. ”Oh, we're very old friends. She's always wanting me to go and see her. I really must.”

”Oh, I didn't know _you_ knew her,” he answered. Somehow, the fact of my knowing her seemed to lessen her importance in his eyes. But soon he recovered his enthusiasm for her.

”A wonderfully clever woman,” he continued. ”I'm afraid I disappointed her a little though.” He said this, however, with a laugh that contradicted his words. ”She would not believe I was _the_ Mr. Smith.

She imagined from my book that I was quite an old man.”

I could see nothing in my friend's book myself to suggest that the author was, of necessity, anything over eighteen. The mistake appeared to me to display want of ac.u.men, but it had evidently pleased him greatly.

”I felt quite sorry for her,” he went on, ”chained to that bloodless, artificial society in which she lives. 'You can't tell,' she said to me, 'how I long to meet someone to whom I could show my real self--who would understand me.' I'm going to see her on Wednesday.”

I went with him. My conversation with her was not as confidential as I had antic.i.p.ated, owing to there being some eighty other people present in a room intended for the accommodation of eight; but after surging round for an hour in hot and aimless misery--as very young men at such gatherings do, knowing as a rule only the man who has brought them, and being unable to find him--I contrived to get a few words with her.

She greeted me with a smile, in the light of which I at once forgot my past discomfort, and let her fingers rest, with delicious pressure, for a moment upon mine.

”How good of you to keep your promise,” she said. ”These people have been tiring me so. Sit here, and tell me all you have been doing.”

She listened for about ten seconds, and then interrupted me with--

”And that clever friend of yours that you came with. I met him at dear Lady Lennon's last week. Has _he_ written anything?”

I explained to her that he had.

”Tell me about it?” she said. ”I get so little time for reading, and then I only care to read the books that help me,” and she gave me a grateful look more eloquent than words.

I described the work to her, and wis.h.i.+ng to do my friend justice I even recited a few of the pa.s.sages upon which, as I knew, he especially prided himself.

One sentence in particular seemed to lay hold of her. ”A good woman's arms round a man's neck is a lifebelt thrown out to him from heaven.”

”How beautiful!” she murmured. ”Say it again.”

I said it again, and she repeated it after me.

Then a noisy old lady swooped down upon her, and I drifted away into a corner, where I tried to look as if I were enjoying myself, and failed.