Part 28 (1/2)
To: Kelly from Canada From: Date: August 5, 2003 Subject: RE: Advice, please!
Dear Waiting Kelly, if-it-ain't-broke-should-I-still try-to-fix-it question...I know it well. First off, I don't agree with your mom. The milk-for-free stuff was relevant to her generation, but no longer to ours, considering gratis milk abounds. One simply needs to go to a bar around closing time-it's a veritable dairy aisle out there.
I also don't agree with the experts who say you shouldn't live together first. Their theory is that this is less of a commitment, and couples that live together are more likely to break up. Um, yes, and I think that's a good thing. Better to have one skirmish over who gets the toaster upon move-out then to fight about the custody of your children every weekend for the next fourteen years.
As I'm a fan on interpreting Judeo-Christian ethics to my own benefit, I think it's a much bigger ”sin” to marry and divorce on a whim than to just give it a trial run by cohabitating. (I made this determination while living with my own boyfriend for almost seven years, BTW.) More couples divorce over non-dramatic issues like money and communication, rather than affairs and abuse. Living together is an excellent proving ground where you can work this stuff out without worrying about having to return everyone's wedding presents if you can't.
I'm slightly concerned about your age and your need for more commitment. If you are presently worried about your boyfriend's level of involvement, then marriage isn't going to give you any guarantees. Conversely, please don't let the fact that he hasn't asked you yet cast aspersions on the depth of his feelings for you. Maybe he's waiting to be more established in his career, or perhaps he's not financially ready to make the commitment. Although it's not the answer you want to hear, my best advice is to give this more time.
Does this mean that I sat by patiently for seven years, waiting for my boyfriend to pop the question after proving that we were compatible? No. I badgered him relentlessly for the first few years. You see, I desperately wanted a big Michigan Avenue wedding with the Vera w.a.n.g dress and the Tiffany princess-cut rock and your choice of prime rib or lobster tails. And I wanted it all to happen before I was 30, as that seemed like the old maid cut off date. When we got married last year, we chose a simple ceremony in Vegas.
Turns out that the big production stopped being important to me; just being married was enough. What's interesting is that after living together for so long, nothing seems that different now, except the addition of rings and a license to hara.s.s single people.
Bottom line? It's far better to let the commitment happen naturally than to force it simply because someone else says you should. If you're truly compatible, then when the time is right, everything will fall into place.
Best, Jen
LANDLORD'S FIVE DAYS' NOTICE You are hereby notified that there is now due the undersigned Landlord the sum of One thousand six hundred twenty-five dollars ($1625) being rent and late charges for the premises situated in the Village of Chicago, County of Cook, and State of Illinois, described as follows: 1513 West Superior, 2R, Chicago, IL, 60622 together with all buildings, sheds, closets, out-buildings, garages and barns used in connection with said premises.
And you are further notified that payment of said sum so due has been and is hereby demanded of you, and that unless payment thereof is made on or before the expiration of five days after service of this notice, your lease for said premises will be terminated. Keller, Macon, Goldberger, & a.s.sociates, One IBM Plaza, Suite 46, Chicago, IL, 60611, are hereby authorized to receive said rent so due for the undersigned.
Only full payment of the rent demanded in this notice will waive the Landlord's right to terminate possession of said premises under this notice, unless the Landlord agrees in writing to continue such possession in exchange for receiving partial payment.
I'm on the bed hugging Maisy. I've been shaking ever since I found the notice on the door when we went outside for our walk. I should be packing right now, but I'm completely paralyzed. Yes, I'd like to live elsewhere, but because I elected to do so, and not because I'm so worthless that I can't even manage to keep a roof over our heads.
It's over.
We lost.
We're moving home.
Fletch enters the bedroom and comes to sit beside me. ”Jen?” He bends down to kiss my forehead. I ignore him. I know we're about to have the ”what's next” conversation, and I just can't bear it. To avoid looking at him, I bury my face in the pillow I'm sharing with Maisy.189 Maisy-the traitor-leaps on him and begins to lick his face. ”Jen. You've been up here for hours. We need to talk. JEN. LOOK AT ME. This is important.”
I sigh and my voice catches as I say, ”I'll get started packing in a minute. If you want to work on the den, I'll do the bedroom.”
”Why? We're not moving.”
”Yes, we are. You saw the notice.”
”I did. But we're not moving.”
”I'd prefer to not go to court or get arrested for trespa.s.sing, thanks.”
”Listen to me-we're not moving. When you went upstairs, I called the hiring manager and told him our situation. I said I needed an offer letter today. And...” Fletch pulls a sheet of fax paper from behind his back. I bolt upright, s.n.a.t.c.h it out of his hands, and begin to read. We would like to cordially extend you an offer with a starting salary of...
”Oh, Fletch, that's wonderful, but we still have the eviction issue and-”
”What issue? I explained to Bill's secretary that we were having a cash-flow problem because I wasn't getting any consulting gigs. I told her that because of this, I got a traditional job so we'd never have an issue paying the rent again. I sent her a copy of my offer letter and arranged to pay rent and a.s.sociated late fees when I get my first paycheck, so they rescinded the notice.”
”We're going to be OK?”
”We are.” We hug while Maisy tries to worm her way between us. I say a quick prayer of thanks and silently pledge never to allow us to get that close to the precipice again. ”You know, I couldn't have gotten through all this without you.”
”Really?”
”Yep, so now I want to do something for you. When I go to work on Monday, I want you to sit down at the computer and start writing.”
”What do you mean?”
”You've talked about becoming a writer for the past six months. This is your chance. If you're really serious about this as your career, start writing and let's see where it goes.”
”Really? But what about temping?”
”Don't worry about taking any a.s.signments for the moment. Besides, I'll need your help getting out of here in the morning. If I'm going to be in the suburbs by eight a.m., I'll have to be up really early. I probably won't be home until seven o'clock every night, so the dogs will be depending on you, too.”
This is it.
We got our ”do-over.”
I promise I'm going to be a different person-a better person-from now on.
”Thank you, honey.” I smile contentedly with my head resting on his shoulder. ”Hey, Fletch?”
”Yes?”
”When you get paid, do you think...would it be possible...could I get some new shoes? Wait...wait...Fletch? I WAS KIDDING!”
Weblog Entry 8/11/03 AN OPEN LETTER TO EVERY COMPANY THAT DIDN'T HIRE ME If you hear the hoof beats of the Four Hors.e.m.e.n of the Apocalypse, there's no need to worry. They're simply hanging around to herald the fact that FLETCH STARTED HIS NEW JOB TODAY.
::cues the Halleluiah chorus:: The company that hired him took a couple of lifetimes to extend him an offer, and then one more to wait for the offer to be official, pending a background check. Don't know why I was nervous that he wouldn't pa.s.s, as his resume was non-fiction and there aren't a lot of skeletons in his closet.190 Armed with a travel mug of coffee, an antic.i.p.atory smile, and a kiss on the cheek, he was off to the bus stop this morning, thus beginning a new chapter of our lives.
And it's about d.a.m.n time, as we have something like $5 left, most of it in coins.
Now that I don't have to spend my days actively worrying about basic needs, I've decided to rearrange my career goals and focus on finding a way to get paid to write. But before I embark on my great writing career, I've got to get this out of my system.