Part 5 (1/2)
Before I unleash my secret weapon34 and hurl myself across the desk to throttle Miss Orange Hair for her crimes against me and the English language, Rory appears.
”Rory! Thank G.o.d! I'm about to commit a felony.”
”Please don't do that-you'd hate jail. They don't provide conditioner.”
”The MENSA members you have working here say I don't have an appointment.” The handful of clerks bright enough to realize I'm insulting them glower in my direction.
”Honey, you're going to have to start taking your hair a little less seriously.”
”Never.”
Rory laughs. ”Regardless, I have time and I can take you now. It's the weirdest thing-my afternoon is clear because none of my appointments showed up.” We walk back to her color station.
”Yeah? Ten bucks says they come in tomorrow.”
Crash and Burn
CORP.COM.EMAIL.
To: SweetMelissa From: [email protected] Date: July 10, 2001 Subject: No Lunch For You Yo, Meliss- Change of plans-can't meet for lunch today. Apparently I'm needed in Cleveland TOMORROW, so I've got to spend this afternoon getting ready. Sorry for canceling on such short notice.
Let's catch up soon, Jen **********
Jennifer A. Lancaster Manager, Interactive Products, Midwest 312-555-2790.
”This communication is for discussion purposes only and does not create any obligation to negotiate or enter into a binding agreement with Corporate Communications Conglomerate, Inc.”
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To: SweetMelissa From: [email protected] Date: July 13, 2001 Subject: FYI Melissa, Cleveland DOES NOT ROCK.
How does Thursday, July 19 look for dinner? I'm thinking chopped chicken salad and buckets o' margaritas at Banderas.
Si, si?
El Jen **********
Jennifer A. Lancaster Manager, Interactive Products, Midwest 312-555-2790 ”This communication is for discussion purposes only and does not create any obligation to negotiate or enter into a binding agreement with Corporate Communications Conglomerate, Inc.”
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To: SweetMelissa From: [email protected] Date: July 18, 2001 Subject: Mexican Cuisine Hola, First the good news...tomorrow I'll be having authentic Mexican food.
And now the bad...unless you're going to be in Tucson, too, we won't be eating it together. Dreadfully sorry and all that.
Jen P.S. Have I mentioned how excited I am to go to the hottest place on the face of the earth in the middle of the freaking summer?
Jennifer A. Lancaster Manager, Interactive Products, Midwest 312-555-2790 ”This communication is for discussion purposes only and does not create any obligation to negotiate or enter into a binding agreement with Corporate Communications Conglomerate, Inc.”
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To: SweetMelissa From: [email protected] Date: July 31, 2001 Subject: Scratch That Howdy, Correction: Tucson is NOT the hottest place on the face of the earth.
Minneapolis, MN is.
It was 100 degrees there yesterday. I'm pretty sure I saw a bird spontaneously combust.