Volume II Part 12 (1/2)

TO MRS. HAWTHORNE

_Salem_, Novr. 10th, 1845

_Ownest_,

It was revealed to me that thou didst write on Sat.u.r.day, and so, at nightfall, I went to the Post-Office, but found no letter. This morning, it has arrived, with the postmark of to-day. It gladdens me to hear of Una's joy, and of thy being with people whom thou knowest well, and who know thee well, and with whom thou canst have real intercourse and sympathy. As for us in Castle Dismal, we miss thee greatly, all of us, and dwell in a deeper shadow for lack of thee, and that streak of living suns.h.i.+ne with which thou hast illuminated the earth. Whom do I mean by this brilliant simile? Can it be that little redheaded personage? Louisa complains of the silence of the house; and not all their innumerable cats avail to comfort them in the least. Thy husband thinks of thee when he ought to be scribbling nonsense--and very empty and worthless is his daily life, without thee.

Nevertheless, if thou art at ease, do not come home in less than a week. I feel as if it were good for thee to be there, and good for Una too. Louisa told me, yesterday, with some alarm in her manner, that Dr. Moss (thy medical friend) says that the illness from vaccination does not come on, or does not reach its crisis, till the ninth day.

Can this be so? And will it be necessary to wait so long? That would postpone thy return till the middle of next week--a term to which I cannot yet reconcile myself.

I read Una's note, addressed to ”Madame Hawthorne,” then sealed it up and threw it downstairs. Doubtless, they find it a most interesting communication; and I feel a little shamefaced about meeting them.

I hear nothing from Was.h.i.+ngton as yet; nor, indeed, is it yet time to expect any definite intelligence. Meanwhile Pike and thy friend David are planning to buy us an estate, and build a house, and have even gone so far as to mark out the ground-plot of the house, in chalk, on David's hearth. I fear it will prove a castle in the air; and yet, a moderate smile of Providence would cause it to spring out of the earth, on that beautiful hillside, like a flower in the summer time.

With a cottage of our own, and the surveyors.h.i.+p, how happy we might be!--happier than in Concord, on many accounts. The Surveyors.h.i.+p I think we shall have; but the cottage implies an extra thousand or fifteen hundred dollars.

I have heard of Mr. Atherton's being in Boston since thy departure;--whether Mrs. Atherton is with him I know not. Governor Fairfield, I understand, starts for Was.h.i.+ngton to-day.

G.o.d bless thee, dearest!--and blessed be our daughter, whom I love next to thee! Again, if thou feelest it good for thee, on any account, to stay longer in Boston, do not hasten home;--but whenever thou comest, my heart will open to take thee in.

THY LOVINGEST HUSBAND.

TO MRS. HAWTHORNE

_Castle Dismal_, Novr. 13th, 1845

_Intimatest Friend_,

I cannot settle down to work this forenoon, or do anything but write to thee--nor even that, I fear, with any good effect; for I am just as much dissatisfied with this mode of intercourse as always. .h.i.therto. It is a wretched mockery. But then it _is_ a semblance of communication, and, thus far, better than nothing.

I got thy letter of Tuesday the same evening, while it was still warm out of thy heart; and it seemed to fill the air round about me with Nona's prattle. I do love her--that is the truth,--and almost feel it a pity to lose a single day of her development;--only thou wilt tell me, by letter or by mouth, all the pretty things that she says or does, and more over find a beauty in them which would escape my grosser perception. Thus, on the whole, I shall be a gainer by our occasional separations. Thee I miss, and without any recompense. I marvel how it is that some husbands spend years and years away from their wives, and then come home with perhaps a bag or two of gold, earned by the sacrifice of all that life. Even poverty is better--and in saying that, thou knowest how much I say.

Nothing has happened here since I wrote thee last. I suspect the intelligence of thy meditated baby is very pleasant to the grandmother and aunts; for Louisa met me at dinner, that day, with unusual cheerfulness, and observed that Thanksgiving was at hand, and that we must think of preparing. [As] for me, I already love the future little personage; and yet, somehow or other, I feel a jealousy of him or her, on Una's account, and should not choose to have the new baby better than the old one. So take care what thou dost, Phoebe Hawthorne! And now I think of it, do not thou venture into that tremendous press and squeeze, which always takes place on landing from the ferry-boat at the East Boston depot. Thou art not to be trusted in such a tumult; it will be far better to wait behind, and compel the conductor to find thee a seat. There is always the densest squeeze on Sat.u.r.days.

But I shall not expect thee back on Sat.u.r.day. According to Dr.

Wesselhoeft's dictum, and supposing the vaccination to have taken, that will be precisely the critical day;--if Dr. Moss be correct, the crisis comes on Monday. In either case, I hope thou wilt wait a little. There is the greatest satisfaction to me in thinking how comfortably situated thou art, with thy sister at thy elbow, and thy mother at arms' length, and thy Aesculapius within a five minutes'

summons. If I (and thou too, thou lovingest one) could endure it, I should be glad that thou mightest spend the winter there; but that is too heart-chilling to think of--so thou must even come back, in a few days more, to old Castle Dismal! But I shall never feel at home here with thee. I went, the other afternoon, to look at the hill where Pike and the Chancellor have built a castle in the air for our reception.

Thou hast no idea what capacities it has.

(Portion of letter missing)