Part 66 (2/2)
I prayed that he didn't come into the bathroom. I think I showered quicker than I ever had in my life. I even dressed in record time.
Dawson was in my room emptying his pockets when I came out. He took clothes from his dedicated drawers and kissed me as he headed to the shower next.
d.a.m.nit he was staying. We were going to have s.e.x. This was not the plan...at all.
I slipped on a pair of socks and eyed his cellphone, trying to tell myself not to do it. I had never looked through his phone. I never had a reason to. I jumped up and practically ran to it. I opened it up and went right to the messages. Fifty seven of them were to and from Lauren. I scanned them quickly, listening for the shower to shut off.
Most of them were just quick little text. Like, good morning, good night, how is your day going? And then I read where they were meeting. He knew that I was home the night before. Lauren had text him and told him not to come over because I was home.
Why was I so p.i.s.sed about Dawson and Lauren? It wasn't like I hadn't just lied to him and spent the last few days with Drew. I was furious. I was reading one from Lauren, telling Dawson that she missed his lips and couldn't wait until she could kiss him. I didn't hear the water shut off, and I didn't hear Dawson walk in.
I don't know how I knew that he was standing there. I guess I just sensed his presence. I turned to see his tight lipped face staring right at me, going through his phone.
”Dawson?” I said. I needed to know. Screw the private investigator c.r.a.p. I wanted to know, and he was going to tell me.
”I've wanted to tell you, Riley.”
”Tell me what?”
He didn't speak. I could feel my heart beating. I could feel the blood pumping through my veins. I was ticked. I wanted to pick his gun up and shoot him in the head. I was literally seeing little light prisms. I was so freaking mad. I couldn't see straight. Why, I wasn't sure. I really had no right, but G.o.d d.a.m.nit, this. .h.i.t me like a ton of bricks. I wasn't expecting this. I could have never seen this coming, not in a million years.
”How long has this been going on, Dawson?” I asked. I was trying my best to keep my cool. Never mind the fact that I was planning on dumping him that very night.
”Riley, come here,” he tried. f.u.c.k that. He wasn't touching me, ever.
”Just f.u.c.king tell me, Dawson,” I demanded, still trying not to yell.
”Come out here and sit down. I will put on some tea, and we will talk.”
I stormed past him shoving his phone in his chest. I didn't want to sit. I couldn't sit. I walked out to the cold November chill in my sock feet. I needed air. I needed the brisk cold sea air. I felt like I was suffocating, and I didn't know why.
Dawson left me alone while he heated water. It was probably best that he did. When I finally cooled off, I walked back in and sat at the table. I s.h.i.+vered, freezing from the cold air.
”Do you love her?” I asked, looking down at the table. I didn't want to see his face when I got my answer.
”I don't know, Ry. Lauren has been there for me through all of this. We spent hours together when you were missing.”
”How sweet,” I smartly, replied.
”Not like that. We spent hours looking for you.
You were gone almost five months before anything ever happened. We were only intimate twice before I found you.”
”Why didn't you just leave me lost?”
”Because I love you. I still love you.”
”Do you want Lauren?”
”I don't know how to answer that right now. I guess that is up to you.”
”Why would it be up to me?” I asked, turning to look at him.
He bought our teacups to the table and sat in front of me.
”If I thought for one second that you were going to divorce Drew and marry me and raise our family together, I wouldn't want Lauren.”
”So, you are doing to her, what I have done to you.”
”What do you mean?”
”I mean, you are putting her second because you feel obligated to make things work with me.”
”Is that what you have been doing, Riley?”
”Not on purpose, but I guess so. It's always been Drew, Daw. I didn't always realize that, but it's a fact.
We could have been happy had things not have happened the way that they did. If I wouldn't have forgotten who I was and fallen in love with my husband for the first time, things may have been different. I do love you. You have been my safety blanket from day one.”
”You want out too, don't you?”
”Yes. I didn't go to my mother's. I have been with Drew.”
”I kind of figured as much, and it wasn't the first time. Was it”
I shook my head.
”What about the baby, Riley. If this is my kid, I want to be a part of his life.”
I smiled at him. I couldn't help it. ”I know, and I would never keep you from that. I would actually be a little relieved if I knew that Lauren was going to be the other female in his life.”
He smiled too. I think at that point we were both praying that this little boy wasn't his.
”I'm glad that I had the opportunity to know and love you,” Dawson, quietly said.
I don't know why that bothered me, but it did. I think because I knew he was at the place where he was telling me goodbye. I quickly swiped the escaped tear.
”Riley?” Dawson said, sadly, wanting me to look at him.
”I'm not Riley, Dawson. I'm Morgan.”
He smiled a weak smile. ”Are you going to be okay?”
”Yes. I'll be fine. I've been through worse. I'll manage.”
”Yes you have, and I hope the rest of your life is full of nothing but happiness.”
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