Part 33 (1/2)

I showered and pulled on a pair of jeans and a knit s.h.i.+rt. I went into the kitchen, and Marta had eggs and toast ready for me sitting on the table in the kitchen.

Drew came in shortly after wearing a smile, dressed in his expensive suite.

”Good morning,” he said, kissing the top of my head.

”Good morning,” I replied. I didn't want to be a b.i.t.c.h if I had imagined the nightmare that I was almost sure took place the night before. I was trying like h.e.l.l to convince myself that the incident in the car was just a fight, and not dwell on that either.

Drew ate with me and then disappeared to his office. I needed out of that house. I needed to go someplace where I could think.

I walked right into his office, purposely not knocking. I got the same dirty look for barging in.

”Could you leave us please,” I asked Derik, standing in the same stuffy clothes as Drew.

He blew out a puff of air as if he was saying, in your dreams.

”Go, Derik,” Drew demanded.

He left, but gave me a look that I wasn't sure of. It was somewhere between a warning and a vengeful expression. I didn't care.

”I need a car today,” I spit out. I thought Drew was going to fall off of his chair.

”You need a car?”

”Yes. I have to get out of this house for a while before I go crazy. I did drive before, didn't I?”

”Not really. You were driven to where you wanted to go. Don't you remember what happened the last time you drove?”

”No, Drew. I don't. I don't remember any f.u.c.king thing,” I smartly replied. How dare him.

”Where do you want to go? I will have Derik drive you.”

”I don't even want to be in the same room with that man. I want to go alone. I do have a driver's license,” I stated. I did have a license. My hair was blonde in them, and they were good until my next birthday.

”You don't like Derik? You liked him before,” he reminded me. I rolled my eyes.

”Maybe I did, and maybe I didn't. I have a feeling that my whole life before the accident was nothing but a lie.”

”What's that supposed to mean?”

”Nothing, Drew. Can I take your car or not.”

”How long are you going to be gone? Where are you going?”

”I have no idea, but I am not twelve. I think I will be fine.”

”Why don't you go to Lennox Park?” He suggested and stood to take his keys from his pocket.

I knew where that was. I don't know how I knew, but I did.

Chapter 15.

I knew I was being followed. I could see not only Derik but also Drew in the rearview mirror. I didn't care.

They could follow me all they wanted. I had nowhere to go. I did take Drew's advice and went to the park. I walked the red brick path around the park and sat at a bench. I watched the kids play and run around. It felt good.

I smiled at their innocent happiness as they ran and yelled happily.

I knew Drew and Derik were somewhere close, but I wasn't going to even look around for them. I didn't care. I needed to figure out what I was doing. I couldn't stay with him. Maybe I could talk to Mr. Callaway. He seemed to be amiably concerned about me. That would be fine had I known where to find him or how to call him. My cellphone had one number in it, Drew's. Why did I not have other friends? Why didn't I know anyone else? Why hadn't anyone come by to check on me?

”Dawson,” I whispered out loud. Who was Dawson and why did I feel lost without him? I wasn't sure about anything, and sitting there amongst a bunch of strangers was doing nothing for my memory. I may as well give up and live with the cards that I have been dealt. I got up and started walking through the park again. I didn't look up and kept my head down. The red brick went into a big circle around the park, and I walked, following it back to where I started. If I could only follow the path back to where I remembered who the h.e.l.l I was I would be a happy camper or would I. Something told me that I didn't want to know who I was before.

I stopped and looked up at the building across the road. 'Lennox Library,' I knew that building. Well maybe not knew, but it did seem to be ambiguously familiar. I walked off the path and into the drought infested gra.s.s. I could hear the crunch underneath my sneakers as I walked across the dry gra.s.s.

I pushed the crosswalk b.u.t.ton and waited for the sign to tell me that it was my turn to cross. I went into the building, and for some reason I knew to go to the second floor of the ma.s.sive library. I didn't know what was on the second floor, but I knew I had been there.

”Can I help you find something?” a lady asked from behind a desk after I just stood there.

”Do you know who I am?” I asked. It was a dumb question but worth a shot.

”Excuse me?” she asked as if she hadn't heard me.

”Never mind,” I said and walked to the nonfiction section. I had read so many of those books, and I knew that I had gotten them from right there in that library.

Why does it even matter Morgan? It's not like you're going to remember anything of any importance anyway. Who cares if you used to check out books there?

Wait...I had an e-reader. I remembered Drew taking it away from me. Why would I come to the library if I had access to millions of books right at my fingertips? I took a deep breath and ran my hands over my face and pinched the bridge of my nose. I had a horrible headache that seemed to be getting worse the more I tried to figure out my life.

I was just exiting the building when my cellphone rang.

”Are you okay?” Drew asked. Who else would it be? I only had one number.

”Yes. I'm fine. I'm heading back now.”

”Did you have a nice time?”

”Yeah. I'll see you in a little bit,” I replied, agitated as h.e.l.l.

Drew must have believed me and knew that I was coming home. The car that I was sure they had followed me in was parked in front of the house.

Once again I barged right into his office. I tossed his keys and left without a word. I pretended not to notice the screen on his computer and walked in and right back out. I had a headache from h.e.l.l, and couldn't process what I had seen just yet. I went right to my bed and lay across it holding my head. I wasn't about to touch the bottle of pills again. I would deal with the pain.

The sound of the white phone on the nightstand was deafening and echoed through my head. I was annoyed that I had to move to answer it.

”What?” I answered. I didn't know who it was. I didn't care.

”Are you okay?” Drew asked.