239 Kiss Me (1/2)
Inside the room, An Sun was already on the floor, his face damp from a wash at the baths. Rin washed too, the water cool across her forehead.
”I'll sleep on the floor.” An Sun offered.
Without saying much, Rin nodded her head. She watched him take a pillow from her bed along with a sheet to cover himself in the night. She frowned at the sight.
”Will you be cold?”
”Probably.” An Sun admitted. ”But it's fine. It's just for one night.”
”Oh,” Rin said. After that, there was nothing more to say.
She pulled back the covers and lay quietly on the bedding, already cold from the draft of the windows. Laying on the floor, An Sun's eyes were fixed on the ceiling. They lay there a moment, in that strained and living silence.
”What are we going to do?” Rin asked suddenly.
”What do you mean?” An Sun shifted his gaze.
”All those people…they'll be killed. No matter what we said, nothing changed. More are just going to die.” Her voice trailed near the end.
There was quiet. When he hadn't responded after a while, Rin turned to look at him. He was on his side, watching her. She had not heard him turn. He was utterly motionless, that stillness that was his alone.
”Rin, we did everything we could. Sometimes—” He paused. ”No matter how much you try to save someone and show them your good intentions, they will never change.”
Pursing her lips, Rin's lowered her eyes.
”When your father died…how did you feel?”
An Sun's expression hadn't changed much. He sighed.
”Surprised mostly. The man I grew up with never had a weakness. He was always strong and cold to everything around him. Never once did I think he would die someday. But…another part of me is relieved.”
”Relieved?” Rin's eyes widened.
He nodded with a sigh. ”All my life, he had been a shadow and reminder of who I was. Now that he's gone…I feel relieved.”
”Sun…”
He looked at her and smiled. But it was not a clear smile. It was filled with pain and misery.
”Disturbing isn't it? I feel relief that my own father is dead.”
”No.” Rin sat up in bed and shook her head. ”There's nothing wrong about it. Your feelings and emotions are validated. Whether you feel relief, anger, joy…you have every reason to feel this way.”
He was watching her, his eyes as deep as the night. Rin's pulse jumped, for no reason she could name. He had looked at her a thousand times, but there was something different in this gaze—an intensity she did not know. Her mouth was dry. She could hear the sound of her throat as she swallowed.
Suddenly, he stood up from the floor and walked toward the bed. Startled, Rin glanced up. Her breath caught in her throat.
”W-What's wrong?” She said, finally.
”About what?”
”The floor…it's cold.”
Rin swallowed, hesitant. ”How cold?”