154 Tormenting Memories (1/2)
[Dear grandfather, by the time you receive this letter I will have already left Jilin with Commander An and his troops. If you may not know, Commander An's family situations have caused a complicated scenario that has caused me to make a difficult decision.
My choice to support Commander An was not by force, but by my own willingness. Out of anyone, you should know loyalty means nothing unless it has at its heart the absolute principle of self-sacrifice.
As you had done for me when you brought me into your family, I am giving someone who may not have enough strength to grow. I believe with all my heart; he is a capable leader. Grandfather, Uncle, it was you who changed my life for the better. Now I wish to do the same for An Sun.
But I do not want you to look at this as a goodbye, nor a reason to wallow in remorse and regret. I am glad you allowed me the chance to decide my fate. You taught me the path of comfort is not easily given. It's fought for. I intend to fight for my peace, for our peace.
This is not goodbye. This is a thank you. Thank you for coming into my life and giving me joy, thank you for loving me and receiving my love in return. Thank you for the memories I will cherish forever.
Even if we can't be together now, we will be again.
I, your ungrateful, foolish granddaughter love you.]
Bai Han stood and stared at the letter in his hand in silence. Minutes seemed to pass before his hands clenched the letter in his hand tightly. The words inside were delicate and beautiful.
Just like his precious granddaughter.
As much as he tried holding it in, the pain came out like an uproar from his throat in the form of a silent groan. He suddenly couldn't bear it as his dark lashes brimmed heavy with unfallen tears; his hands clenched into shaking fists, in a desperate battle against the grief.
A lone tear traced down his old wrinkled cheek.
Bai Han's voice trembled, ”Damn that foolish brat.”
He glanced at the letter again, and his eyes were crinkled up in a smile. There was a sudden light in his heart. A light that wasn't there yesterday.
It was a feeling he hadn't had in so long that if felt foreign.
After a long time, he whispered: ”I trust you.”
He trusted his granddaughter's judgment. He trusted her decisions. Therefore, he should learn to trust An Sun as much as Rin did.
Bai Han folded the letter and placed it inside his robes. A light that wasn't there yesterday.
…
Outside on the balcony of the Jilin governor estate, An Sun leaned forward and held a gourd full of wine.
Bam—!
”That damn old man is testing my patience.” An Sun's fist slammed against the railing, his other taking a heavy swig of wine.
Manchu leaned against the balcony walls and watched as the man emptied another gourd.
He glanced at the young man and said, ”Sun, have you noticed you've drunken more since Bai Rin went missing? Especially so early in the morning.”
”It can't be helped. I haven't had a seconds rest.” An Sun grumbled.
Manchu nodded in acknowledgment.
”You're right.” His eyes suddenly revealed a hidden glint. ”It almost must be because of the discovery of the little strategist being a girl.”
An Sun paused before replying in his usual magnetic tone, ”I told you, I have no issue with Bai Rin being a woman.”
Manchu's eyes curved with amusement. ”That's not what I mean.”
An Sun's brows furrowed deeper, his gaze swinging over to the man with a smug expression. A corner of his lips tugged downwards.
”Manchu, get straight to the point. I dislike beating around the bush.” An Sun's voice held a slight coldness.
Manchu was used to his icy chill, so he thought there was no point in teasing him anyway.
”I mean, among all the troops you were the closets to the little strategist.” Manchu released a mocking sigh. ”Looking back at those moments for you now must be tormenting.”
At that moment, a huge wave of emotion rose within An Sun's chest, even as he appeared calm while listening to Manchu's words.