Part 11 (1/2)

McNaughten Of whom?

Jenny Of my mistress, who else?

McNaughten (grabbing her roughly by the shoulders) I don't know anything about it. Get out and leave me alone.

Jenny Do you know, sir, that before leaving this place, I am going to scratch your eyes out?

Spruce Sir, to avoid any further quarrel--give her her portrait. You know a woman scorned is a hundred times more vicious than all the Devils in h.e.l.l.

McNaughten But, were she a thousand times more of a Devil than she is-- I don't know her or her mistress.

Spruce (to Jenny) Never mind what he says. He must still be in love with her. Let me soften him up a bit. Come back soon, and I will have it for you.

Jenny Oh, all right. I can wait a little. But if he refuses to listen to reason when I get back, I am going to burn the house down, understand?

(Smiling)

(Exit Jenny)

McNaughten I don't know which of those harridans is more frightening: the mistress or the maid. How can perfect strangers be so enthusiastic about persecuting me--? Like furies from h.e.l.l.

Spruce A man like you--young, loveable, handsome--is subject to these misfortunes. Between lovers, fights like these are mere bagatelles.

>From today, I promise to make you friends with her.

McNaughten Lord forbid.

Spruce (aside) But, who do I see coming this way? It's the Squire. That hundred pounds is going to spell trouble for us.

(Enter the Squire)

Squire Hey, dear fellow, what luck--let me embrace you a thousand times to show you how happy I am to see you. Look at me--I was outre--in despair. This has been a horrible day, I've had nothing but bad luck until Lo! I meet you. I've been buffeted on all sides by fate. Just like a football.

McNaughten Sir, I am sorry to see you this way, but I have no time to struggle with you.

Squire A pistol shot would be good for me. I wish someone would crush me into the ground.

McNaughten Who is this Irishman?

Spruce Evidently, a dear friend of yours---although I think he's Welsh.

McNaughten I've never seen him before.

Squire I've just left a house--may the earth swallow it, and nature perish with it--where I lost my last penny at cards. Outrageous luck. So, I am obliged to ask you for the hundred pounds I loaned you when you were in need. Excuse my importuning you, but you will pardon me--you can see what a state I am in.

McNaughten I pardon you, entirely, and you will pardon me, too, if I say that this surprises me, entirely. I don't know you. How could you lend me a hundred pounds, never having seen me before?

Squire (coldly) What kind of talk is this? It pa.s.ses my understanding.

McNaughten I suppose your talk is easier to comprehend?

Squire You pretend you don't owe me a hundred pounds?