Part 12 (2/2)

”A long, pretentious name.”

”What does it mean?”

”I'm sorry to say that I don't speak a word of Spanish. But they tell me it means something like 'the queen with a sign or symbol who helps, defends, and consoles mankind.'”

”The 'sign or symbol' being your birthmark.”

”Yeah, the sun birthmark that Melaphia says means I'm a G.o.ddess.”

That brought me back around to reality. I kissed the top of Connie's head and then she wriggled around to face me. ”You can do better than that,” she said, ”or I'm not Lareina Senalda Drina Consuela Adalia Jones.”

I kissed her ardently, deeply, trying to convey everything I felt for her but would not be able to put into words even if I could speak, which I was sure I could not. Her lips held the promise of hot lovemaking, but that would not be happening again. Even if I could have brought myself to make love to Connie tonight, the memory would have skewered me with white-hot shame every time I closed my eyes.

I broke off the kiss and whispered, ”I love you.”

”I love you, too,” she said.

I swallowed hard. It was now or never. Looking deeply into her eyes, I concentrated my glamour on making her know my love for her. I love you, never anyone as much as you before, and never anyone again.

”You're getting sleepy.” I heard myself say the words like some cheesy nightclub hypnotist, only from somewhere far away, outside my own body.

She nodded, closed her eyes, and slept, her face offering me the most wonderful smile I'd ever seen. No angel's could have been as sweet. It charmed me and froze time for a precious, peaceful moment.

I closed my eyes, too, afraid that if I looked up I would see that across the room the Blessed Virgin's icon had begun to stare at me in revulsion and censure, perhaps even silently crying her own tears. In my remorse I addressed both her and Connie as I whispered, ”Forgive me.”

My fangs pierced Connie's throat just over her carotid artery, and the blood flowed in the way human blood did, sure but unhurried, like the Savannah River to the sea. The monster in me savored the taste and the aroma, hungering for more while what was still human in my mind screamed in desperation and horror. I felt like a creature coming apart at the seams, sinew by raw sinew, atom by atom. My dual natures warred against each other until I thought my nerves would catch fire.

I felt Connie's heartbeat as the blood flowed into my mouth. I sucked at the artery, wis.h.i.+ng it to be over so I could crawl away somewhere and die like I deserved to. But then I felt something else.

Another heartbeat.

I stopped, sealing the wounds on Connie's neck with my saliva, and tried to think of what could account for what I had felt.

William told me once that I was special, that I had powers and gifts I hadn't discovered yet, ones even he didn't understand. I'd always had powers of communication with the dead. I could feel them as I walked close to their resting places. If I was supersensitive to death, could I also be hyperaware of life?

I looked at Connie's sleeping form as I cradled her in my arms. The bloom of life still blushed her cheeks. I held her close to me and pressed my ear to her chest, hearing the steady if weak lub-dub of her heart.

Then I moved my head so that my ear was against her abdomen. I closed my eyes and tried to concentrate the power of my vampiric senses into my hearing. There it was. A tiny heartbeat. Connie was carrying a child.

My child.

Eleven.

William I arose early the following night and went to my desk to catch up with correspondence and other business matters that had piled up during my recent absence. The evening before, the other vampires and I had returned to the mansion in the wee hours-they from Werm's club and I from my tryst with Ginger. We smoked the Cuban cigars Iban had brought and sipped a fine brandy while listening to Travis's tales of fighting Cortes and the other conquistadors. His deep voice and the gentle cadence of his speech were so soothing, it was almost possible to forget what poor Jack was going through.His plight still weighed on me this evening, and I wished to occupy my mind to keep from thinking about him and the sad task he'd had to undertake the night before.

I had chosen to stay out of his private affairs over the years, but now I wished I had warned him more strongly against becoming involved with human women. But then, I'd failed to heed that advice myself and paid the price with my peace of mind and my everlasting sorrow.

Despite the fact that Jack could block me from reading his thoughts and emotions directly, he could not always hide his emotions from me when he was in my presence, especially when those emotions were strong. The night he had come back from the underworld, when I first told him he must prepare himself to kill Connie, I knew he hadn't accepted it. I could see it in his face.

Jack always thought he could finesse his way out of a bad situation, and many times he could, especially when that situation involved human beings.

But last night Jack had realized that his charm and cleverness were useless against the dire circ.u.mstances we found ourselves in. I could tell the instant when he understood that there was no getting around the fact that he had to kill his lady love. The life, for lack of a better term, had gone out of him as clearly and visibly as the mortal verve dies at the point of a fang.

The administrative tasks before me were mere workaday trivialities, but I hoped they would distract me from my morose thoughts.

As I sifted through the papers, I could not muster any enthusiasm for my labors.

Melaphia appeared in the vault, bearing a carafe of warm blood and several cups on a tray. ”Your guests aren't up yet, I see.”

”I suppose they're jet-lagged,” I remarked. ”They're not used to the sun setting until three hours from now.”

”Let me pour you some breakfast while you wait for them.”

”Thank you, my dear, but I'm not hungry.”

Melaphia set the tray down on the edge of my huge desk and came to stand behind me. Rubbing my shoulders, she said, ”It's a sad night.”

”Indeed it is.”

”I've started my preparations for approaching both Maman Lalee and the G.o.ds about keeping the Portal from the underworld closed to the double-deads,” she said. ”I've sent for the appropriate potions and offerings. I'm still going over the texts and making lists of things I should include in the spells. Deylaud is helping, of course.”

”Good. Is he still grieving for Eleanor?”

”Yes, I'm afraid so, but keeping him busy is helping.” With a final squeeze of my shoulders, she sat down in the leather wing chair opposite the desk.

”How are you doing?”

I shrugged. ”I may eventually get over her absence, I suppose. But it's difficult to know how much suffering I've caused her.”

”But William, there was nothing you could have done differently.”

”Not once she was out of control, no. I'm just sorry I let her persuade me to make her a blood drinker in the first place. But let's not speak of it again. I don't want to saddle you with any more of my burdens.” By way of changing the subject, I asked, ”So how goes the general research into the nature of the Slayer?”

”I confirmed what Travis and the European legends say about the fact that the Slayer is half-human and half-vampire. In the eyes of the Maya, that elevated her to a G.o.ddess. I think I've found some pa.s.sages that may shed more light on what we're dealing with, if I can interpret them correctly. I'm on my way to my little altars in the pa.s.sageway to say my prayers for guidance now.” She paused a moment, and then said, ”It's still strange to think of a vampire fathering a half-human child. It goes against every law of nature.”

I sighed, feeling each one of my five-hundred-odd years. ”True,” I agreed. ”But when it comes to nature, I believe what Hamlet said to Horatio applies.”

Melaphia raised a slender brow. ”There are more things in heaven and earth than are dreamt of in your philosophy.”

”Heaven, earth, and the underworld,” I added. ”I hope that in the fullness of time when you reach heaven you will know all and understand all.”

”That would be a blessing,” she said. She began to speak again, but held her tongue. I sensed that she had been about to wish me the same good fortune.

But we both knew heaven wasn't where I was headed.

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