Part 23 (1/2)

Mother Henry Bethina Mother - D Mother - L Mother - L Father - D Father - D Father - L Mother isn't a mix. She was only raised by a Light witch-Bethina's mother.

She's one-hundred percent Dark.

And she has no idea what's going to happen to me on my birthday

22.

The day pa.s.ses in a blur. People rush in and out of my room. My guards read things to me. Mother visits twice. Kyra whispers in my ear about how amazing I was. How amazing I'm going to be once I have full use of my powers.

Food is brought and taken away untouched.

But I just sit and listen to the minutes ticking away.

Finally, in the early evening, after everyone else has gone, Annalise crouches next to my chair. She touches the back of my hand softly.

”Are you afraid?” she asks. ”I was. It's normal to be.”

I close my eyes.

”I thought you'd like this.” Annalise sets a cup of Sleep Tea on the table next to my chair. My fingers clench the knot of the cashmere wrap draped over my shoulders. ”It will help you sleep.”

Sleep is the last thing I want right now. I want to remember every second of every minute of this day for the rest of my life. Maybe if I can hold on to this, I won't turn into a monster.

But I already am, aren't I? The explosion at Kyra and Maz's binding, my outburst at the hospital, the way I've taken so readily to Mother's lessons on manipulation. And Lena. What I did to her, the way I overrode her freewill and changed her reality, is despicable.

And no matter what Mother says, she doesn't know what will happen to me. The rational part of me knows Henry and Callum transitioned fine. But they are male. And Light.

I stare at my hands. All the horrible things I've already done. The people I've hurt. Will it only get worse tomorrow?

The clock continues to chase down time. There's no stopping the future, no matter what type of magic I'm capable of.

”Would you like me to add more wood to the fire?” Annalise asks.

The flames died down long ago. Only orange glowing embers remain and the persistent damp chill of San Francisco creeps closer and closer to me. ”No. I'm fine. Thank you.”

”Is there anything else I can do?”

”When will we know about me? How strong I'll be? I feel the same right now, but how will I know?”

Annalise shrugs. ”It's different for all of us. My powers came on very suddenly a few days after my birthday. One moment, I was simply transporting like I had a hundred times before, and the next moment I felt like I was churning through s.p.a.ce. It took me a good while to figure out where I was and get home.”

I'd never heard this story before. Actually, I know very little about my sister-in-law. ”Where had you gone?”

She keeps her face blank. ”The Eastern Society. My parents and I had lived there briefly when I was a child. They were diplomats, and it must have been sitting in back of my mind.”

”So you're good at transporting?” Such a random ability. And completely useless for anything other than...well, moving between locations.

”I am, but that's not where my true talent lies. It just happened my magic surged at the particular moment I chose to transport.”

”Do you think I'm going to go crazy?”

”No.” She sounds exasperated. ”You're Dark, just like the rest of us. And in a few hours, a mature witch. Trust me, having full control of your powers is a blessing.”

She lifts the cup of tea and hands it to me. ”I think you're overa.n.a.lyzing everything and making yourself worried for nothing.”

I take a sip of the tea. Obviously, she doesn't know what I did to Lena. ”How do you know I won't?”

”Because Malin didn't. And neither did Callum. Or Henry. Or any of the other witches on your family tree other than Caitlin Greene.

”The Light witches filled your brain with nonsense. They wanted to scare you and they did.”

I'm not convinced. Bethina wouldn't have let them do all those things to me if she felt it was unnecessary. My stomach rolls.

Unless she saw what happened to my mother.

I rest my head against the back of the chair and stare off into the distance. ”I'm feeling tired.”

”Good night.” Annalise dips her head. ”When I see you in the morning, I promise you'll feel exactly the same as you do now.”

Once she's gone, I lay my cheek on my knees. There's no more time. Tomorrow, I turn eighteen. Tomorrow, I will be bound to a boy who was once Beck's friend and who hates me. I wonder if he'll ever be able to forgive me for what I did to Lena.

I reach into my pocket and feel the familiar cool, metal of my necklace. Not even it can comfort me tonight. The scars of my heart bleed raw and for the first time, I allow the tears to pour down my face and don't bother to hide my sobs. I don't care anymore.

Oh, Beck. Snot bubbles in my nose and I sniff it away. They can make me not say your name and pretend you don't exist, but they can't stop my thoughts.

My head rolls against the side of the chair and I close my eyes. Maybe sleep isn't such a terrible thing after all.

All my life, my day has started and ended with you. Always you.

Like every other night, there's no answer. Just more endless static.

Something soft brushes my jaw and I yawn. Darkness obscures everything, but I can see the shadowy outline of a man standing over me. I rub my eyes and squint. Surely it's too early for my guards to wake me?

The man kneels down before me and his fingers grasp each side of the armchair I've fallen asleep in, trapping me. Even in my half-awake state, I know neither Dawson nor Oliver would approach me like this. My heart whirls into fight mode and I pull my arms into my chest, palms facing out, ready to strike.

”Shhh. It's me.” Ryker's familiar voice surprises me.

I startle but don't drop my hands. If he's as upset as he was earlier, who knows what he'll do. ”Why are you here?”

In an oddly intimate gesture, he gently places two fingers over my mouth and uncurls his other hand in the direction of the fireplace. A fire immediately roars to life. When he drops his fingers from my lips, they tingle. ”I know you love the cold, but I can see my breath.”

My mind struggles to wake up and make sense of what's happening. Ryker is in my room, in the middle of the night. Seemingly no longer upset. How did he sneak past my...

Kyra. She's on duty tonight. d.a.m.n it.

”She's hoping for a love connection.” He lets out a low laugh. ”Anyway, it wasn't too hard to convince her. I told her I needed to talk to you about what happened. In private.”