Part 20 (1/2)

”No. It's just...don't you think there's something odd about him? He won't look at me directly.”

She rolls her eyes. ”No. He's a servant. He does servant-y things. He minds his own business and only speaks when spoken to.”

With a dramatic sigh, she falls back into the stack of pillows. ”Why didn't you tell me what it felt like?” she squeals. ”You left out all the good parts!”

I cringe. She wants to talk about s.e.x. And I so don't.

”It's private. I don't need to know.”

”At first I was a little scared, but that's normal right? And then Maz was all, 'Here, let me help you with that.'” She hugs a pillow to her chest. ”Once he touched my bare skin it was all we could do to make it to the bed.” She giggles. ”Anyway, we didn't leave our room until Ryker showed up.”

I drag my foot across the plush carpet and swallow. ”That's nice.”

”Are you getting nervous about your binding? I mean, it's only in name so it won't feel the same or anything, right? How are you going to keep Ryker from finding out about you and Beck?”

Bang. Bang. Bang. She just doesn't stop. Be quiet Kyra, please.

And like that, she does.

Much better.

I rub the back of my hand slowly. ”Ryker knows.”

She gapes at me. ”And he's okay with it? You...and Beck...and...”

”And what?” I growl.

She clears her throat. ”Well, I thought maybe you'd pretend the whole Beck thing didn't happen. Make a fresh start.”

I curl my hands into fists and focus on slowing the anger simmering inside me. ”Beck and I happened. Nothing will ever change that.”

Kyra sticks out her bottom lip. ”I'm sorry, I thought maybe you liked Ryker. More than as a friend.” Disappointment fills her voice. ”Especially with the way the two of you keep sneaking off and having secret conversations.”

She bats her eyes and tries to look hopeful.

I sigh. ”I'm trying. I promise I am.” I glance out the window. The fog has completely obscured everything outside. ”I should go.”

”Oh, all right. See you tomorrow?”

”Of course.”

As fast as I can in high heels, I run down the stairs. Before I can tell Annalise we're leaving, Tom's by my side, holding my coat open and waiting for me to slip my arms in. Like earlier, my pulse races and my throat goes dry.

This time, when I turn my head up toward his, my eyes meet his deep brown ones. It's like there's nothing else in this room except the two of us. My empty sh.e.l.l of a heart explodes against my ribs.

Tom tilts his head slightly to the left and his eyes linger on my face.

He shouldn't be looking at me like this. I know he shouldn't. It's not proper.

And yet, when the back of his hand caresses my cheek, my blood sings for him. Or more correctly, my magic does. It whirls frantically until all I hear is the rus.h.i.+ng of blood through my body and the sound of Tom's labored breathing.

Tom's lips part slightly and I reach up to kiss him.

At the last second, I back away with tears in my eyes. I have to get out of here before I do something stupid.

Something that could ruin everything.

Something that could expose Beck.

19.

I land in Mother's garden. My hands shake and I force them into the pockets of my coat. I should have known after Henry said Beck came to find me that he'd do something like this.

Breathe, Lark. Don't lose control now. But that's exactly what's happening. My mind fuzzes over and all I can think of is Beck and how, for the first time since leaving Summer Hill, I don't feel empty.

I kick at the wall until my toes ache. d.a.m.n him. d.a.m.n him. d.a.m.n him.

What is he thinking?

Scratch that. He isn't thinking. That's obvious. If he were, he never would have touched me. Not with Annalise, Kyra, and Ryker so close.

Panic builds in me. Does Beck not know how dangerous it is for him to be near Ryker? I groan and squeeze my eyes shut. How can I keep him safe if he insists on doing stupid things?

”Is everything okay?”

Dawson places a strong, firm hand on my back near my shoulder. Like Annalise, he can sense my mental state through physical contact. Lying is useless.

Choose your words carefully. With a deep breath, I compose myself and select a suitable answer. ”I'm nervous about the binding. That's all.”

Dawson's hand slides off my shoulder and I turn around to face my older guard. How he ever came to be in security is a mystery. He seems more like an academic with his quiet demeanor and serious nature. And yet, Annalise claims he's the most lethal of my guards.

A quiet rustling is followed by Annalise stepping out of the shadows. The vein in her neck bulges, but her eyes are filled with worry. ”Do not ever leave without me. Do you understand?”

I nod.

”What happened? One minute my wristlet shows you in the foyer and the next, without telling me, you're gone.”

I hang my head, hoping that it will draw attention away from my trembling hands. ”Kyra was telling me about her binding night. And then...I don't know. I had to leave.”

Annalise b.u.t.tons her cream colored coat to her throat. She turns her head toward the house. Every window glows. ”It's been a long day. Why don't you go in for the evening?”

With heavy legs, I start down the pebble path.

”I thought Oliver was on duty tonight?” Annalise says to Dawson.