Part 19 (1/2)

FRIDAY

SAt.u.r.dAY

SEPTEMBER

It's a long lane that hides no lovers.

SIMPLE HOUSEHOLD RECIPES FOR VEGETARIANS

HAY A-LA-MODE

Take a pound of best timothy and soak it over night in fresh brine. Peel carefully and place it in a vegetable ivory saucepan. Add the yolk of an egg-plant and stir dreamily over an electric-fan till it disappears. Serve it right.

NUT CUTLET

Procure two dozen new nuts from any hardware shop. Grind them into a paste of about the consistency of the average politician. Over this pour a little Standard Oil from which the dividends have been removed, and stir briskly with a subpoena till the oil begins to run; pour off, strain, and beat the paste with an axe until it looks and tastes like a veal cutlet.

IMITATION POTTED HARE

Take a false hare and pot it. This will be potted imitation hare, to be used for decorative purposes only.

STEWED RUBBER PLANT

Cut the plant into rubber bands, add a pinch of rubber cement and beat the whole mixture to beat the band until it will stretch without breaking. This rule is elastic.

[Sidenote: _Ticker Note_: Bull movements are carefully watched in Mexico and Spain.]

[Sidenote: _Fas.h.i.+on Note_: Many a hose is worn to be seen.]

[Ill.u.s.tration: It's always harvest time for me.]

SUNDAY (1,10,000 B.C.) Aphrodite born from the ”foam of the sea.”

(1 A.D.) ”Katzenjammer” born from the foam of too many ”schooners.”

MONDAY