Part 12 (1/2)

I left my beer sitting on the counter and rejoined him on the couch.

”You should tell her what you're after, Porter. What's the worst that can happen? If you don't care about this woman, she can say no and you can move on to trying to catch your break like the rest of this state.”

”You know I don't handle rejection well. I've done everything I can to ensure that n.o.body says no to me. I spend fourteen hours a week at the gym, I get my teeth whitened once a month, I play it safe when it comes to close relations.h.i.+ps, and I always surround myself with people who I know support me in anything I want to do. n.o.body has the power to make or break my career that way except me.”

”Don't you think we're a little old to be playing it safe, Porter?”

When did my little brothers become fonts of wisdom?

”Honestly?” I sighed, ”I don't know. And that's what scares me. Since Dad died, I feel like I've just f.u.c.ked up at every turn. As the man of the house, I should've made sure you guys stayed in school. I was making plenty of money to make sure you guys were taken care of long enough to graduate. I shouldn't have let you get pulled into this s.h.i.+t. If we hadn't have followed in his footsteps, you probably wouldn't be-”

”I told you no-f.u.c.king-more of that s.h.i.+t, Porter. The choices I made and the life I lead are my problems. Not yours. They always have been. You made the choice to follow Dad down this path, and so did we. You didn't force us into anything. Whatever has or hasn't happened as a result of our choices is on our shoulders, not yours.” He had pushed himself off the couch and was pacing back and forth across my living room.

”I still should've been a better role model for you guys.”

”No, Porter, if anyone should've been a better role model, it's Dad. But it's in the past and not something we can change. It's something we can live with and move the f.u.c.k on. If you want something more for yourself, now's the time to go after it. You're not responsible for Preston and me anymore. We're both a little bit f.u.c.ked up, but we're big boys. We can handle it. You're not as perfect as you'd like the world to believe either. Tell her, Porter. Make her see that you're worth the risk.”

I knew arguing with him wouldn't get me anywhere, so I let my head fall back against the couch and tried my best not to grumble under my breath.

”I don't even know where to start, Park.”

”I can't help you there,” he ran a hand through his dirty blond hair and dropped onto the couch next to me, ”I can tell you that lying to women is a bad idea. She'll sniff out your bulls.h.i.+t. If you p.i.s.s her off, she'll find your weakness, and she'll stick her well-manicured finger in it. Be honest with her and get it over with. You're the biggest p.o.r.n star on the planet at the moment. What the h.e.l.l do you have to be worried about?”

”Thanks, Park.” I clapped a hand on his back, ”I'll think about it. This s.h.i.+t is a mess. You got some time for some mindless xBox?”

”Actually,” he glanced down at his watch, ”I've gotta be to a meeting across town in twenty. I've gotta bounce.”

He stood up and I rose to walk him out.

Parker pulled me into a hug and slapped my back. I was stunned. It felt like someone had pulled all the muscles out of my arms and I couldn't move. He hadn't shown me that kind of affection since we were kids.

I finally convinced one of my hands to pat his back in a halfhearted hug and he let me go with a smile.

Before he closed the door behind him, he winked at me and said, ”Tell her you like her, Porter. Everyone knows except the two of you. Take the risk. Give yourself the chance to be happy. You've earned it.”

The door closed and left me standing in the middle of my living room wondering what the f.u.c.k was happening to my life. Both of my younger brothers had called me out and given me life advice. Good life advice at that.

Preston and I needed to have a talk.

I fished my cell out of the couch cus.h.i.+ons where it had fallen and booted up the screen.

I froze when I saw that I had a single text message. From Holly Nash.

”Could this day possibly get any more f.u.c.king weird?”

I swiped the screen and read the message. My palms instantly started to sweat.

We need to talk. Noon tomorrow. 101 Coffee on Franklin.

”It's just business, Holly. Calm down.”

I had been repeating those words to myself since the moment my feet hit the floor that morning. I was practically vibrating with excitement. If this meeting with Porter went well, I'd not only have a new client, but I'd have the chance to work with him more often so I could secretly feed the demands of my infatuation.

”Holly?” Mitch poked his head into my office as I was gathering up my purse.

”What's up?” I asked as I dropped my cell inside the miniature tote bag.

”Oh! Are you taking off already?”

”Yeah. I've got a meeting at noon. I'll probably be out of the office the rest of the day, but you can call me if you need anything.”

”I didn't see anything on your schedule for today.” He was suspicious.

”This one's being kept on the down low. If it goes well, the agency stands to make a lot of money. I just don't want any potential problems to arise before I've had a chance to really feel it out myself.”

I regretted the words as soon as they left my mouth. The idea of feeling Porter for any reason shot straight through me like a red-hot poker. I didn't need to get any more myself worked up before I even saw him. That would end in disaster for my poor s.e.x drive. h.e.l.l, I'd probably just burst into flames.

”Alright,” he stepped to the side as I walked into the hall, ”let me know how your date with Porter goes then!”

I spun to face him, ”How did you know?”

He flashed me a wicked grin, ”I didn't.”

”Ugh,” I rolled my eyes and continued to the front doors, ”You're such an a.s.s. Don't say anything to anyone. Preston dropped off a cryptic package when he was in here yesterday and I just want to get a feel for how serious this is before I say anything official.”

”Mum's the word, love,” he returned to his chair behind his desk and propped his chin on his palms like a little cherub, ”But if you end up sleeping with him and don't tell me, I will quit. I'm serious this time, Holly.”

I waved a dismissive hand at him in acknowledgment and pushed my way through the double doors and into the parking lot.

Lunch hour traffic was bound to be a b.i.t.c.h and I chastised myself for not leaving a little bit earlier. I'd look like a total b.i.t.c.h if he beat me there.

I nosed out into the street and gunned it, narrowly avoiding a few b.u.mpers and completely ignoring the blaring horns.

I cranked up the volume on my stereo and did my best to sing along with the top forty pop that blared out of the speakers.

It was a clear, sunny day, not all that unusual for southern California, and I crawled along with the rest of traffic with my windows down. I didn't have a lot of time to spend on the beach working on my tan, so every chance I got to hang an arm out the window while I drove was one I couldn't pa.s.s up.

By the time I pulled into the tiny lot behind the coffee shop, I was five minutes late. I glanced around for Porter's Land Rover and did an internal happy dance when I didn't see the monstrosity among the cars in the lot.

My small celebration ended abruptly as I stepped out of the sweltering heat into the cool air-conditioned building. Porter was seated at the counter on one of the art-deco stools.

He glanced over his shoulder at the sound of the bell over the door and his eyes lit up when he saw me.

At least, that's what I told myself.

”Sorry I'm late,” I apologized as I set my purse on the counter next to him, ”I hate traffic in this city.”

”No worries,” he a.s.sured me, ”I was almost late myself. I had to drive like a maniac to get here on time.”

”You drove? I didn't see the Rover in the lot out back. Is there some secret underground parking garage I don't know about?”