Part 22 (1/2)
”Of course we do.” Lowering his voice he added significantly: ”At least I do.”
Apparently the compliment fell on deaf ears, for, turning her head away, she said quickly:
”Please don't be sarcastic.”
More seriously, and in the same tone, that even Helen, who was only a short distance away, could not hear, he said:
”I'm never sarcastic. I think you are all a woman should be.”
”Do you mean that?”
”I do. I have thought it for a long time.”
”Really?”
”Really.”
The young girl colored with pleasure. For all her sophisticated and independent manner she was still a child at heart. She had no thoughts of marriage, but it flattered her to think that she had the power to attract and interest this serious, brilliant man of the world. She said nothing more, relapsing into a meditative silence as she busied herself helping the maid to set out the tea table.
To Helen it was a source of keen satisfaction to notice the attention which the brilliant young lawyer was paying her sister. She had long recognized his sterling qualities. He was a man of whom any woman might well be proud. He could not but make a good husband. Next to Kenneth and her baby no one was dearer to her than Ray and, since their mother died, she had felt a certain sense of responsibility. To see her well and happily married was the one secret wish of her life.
But overshadowing these preoccupations at present were those other new anxieties which preyed upon her sensitive mind with all the force of an obsession. Was there any part of her husband's life that he had hidden from her? Was he really as loyal as she had always fondly and blindly believed; had his ambition led him to take grave financial risks that might one day jeopardize their comfort and happiness, the very future of their child?
Ray rose to put away the tea table, and she found herself sitting alone with the lawyer. There was a moment's silence, and then, as if thinking out aloud what was on her mind, she said:
”Thank G.o.d, he's safe; I had the most fearful premonitions----”
The lawyer laughed.
”Don't put your trust in premonitions--things happen or they don't happen. It's absurd to believe that misfortunes are all prepared beforehand.”
”Then you are not a fatalist?”
”Decidedly not. I hope I have too much intelligence to believe in anything so foolish.”
”Do you believe in a Supreme Being who has the same power to suddenly snuff us out of existence as he had to create us?”
”I neither believe nor disbelieve. Frankly, I do not know. What people call G.o.d, Jehovah, Nature, according to my reasoning, is an astounding energy, a marvellous chemical process, created and controlled by some unknown, stupendous first cause, the origin of which man may never understand. How should he? He has not time. We are rushed into the world without preparation. We are ignorant, helpless, blind. Gradually, by dint of much physical labor and mental toil, we succeed in ferreting out a few facts regarding ourselves and the physical laws that govern us. We are just on the verge of discovering more--we are just beginning to understand and enjoy life--when suddenly we find ourselves growing old and decrepit. Our physical and mental powers fail us, and the same force that benevolently created us now mercilessly destroys us, and we are hurled, w.i.l.l.y-nilly, back into eternity whence we came. Rather absurd, isn't it?”
Intensely interested Helen looked up. Eagerly she exclaimed:
”You have a whole system of philosophy in a mere handful of words, haven't you?”
He smiled.
”It's all one needs, and perhaps as good as those more complicated and more verbose.”
More seriously and lowering her voice so Ray, who was still busy at the other end of the room, might not overhear, she said:
”Mr. Steell--you are so clever--you know all about everything. Tell me, do you know anything about Wall Street?”
The ingenuousness of the question amused him. With a laugh he answered: